Mom wont accept $200 for rent from 18 year old daughter that is still in high school?

Question

My mother is unemployed. I get social security checks each month because my father died. All I can afford to give her is $200, and she wont take because it's not enough! I have my own bills to pay. My grandmother I cannot stay with for various reasons. I pay for all my own clothes, shoes, my cell phone, school supplies, and food, which she ends up eating almost all of it! She wont get over her childhood dream of being a writer so she thinks she can pay the bills by sitting on her butt and trying to take money which is rightfully mine. I cannot afford an apartment on my own, or I would have already gotten it. How can I tell her I will not pay any more that what I get? I dont even get privacy, she'll walk in on me when I'm getting dressed, talking on the phone, on my computer, even when I'm with my boyfriend, to complain about her bills. I wont pay for her dream any longer, and I'm sick of being her pincusion. It isnt my responsibility. This has been happening since Dad died 3 years ago

Also, my boyfriend is not prepared to move in together yet. So that is out of the question.

Also, again, they were divorced, and she hated him, so thats no real reason. She thinks it's my job to give her all of my money for the morgatge of the house, which is almost $900. There is a young couple moving in with us that will pay 100 a week, so my 200 should be no big problem except the fact, she's greedy.

Have job, in a resturant. It's incredibly slow and I only get 1 day a week.

Answer 1

the only suggest i can make is to perhaps pay the electric bill or another bill every month, which might add up to $200 all together.

you can't do any more than that if $200 is all you can afford.

your mother is probably lonely and still grieving over your dad as well. you've all suffered a loss, and i'm sorry to hear.....

Answer 2

I'm a little older than your daughter and also in college. I didn't drink at all in High School, and didn't do very much in my first year either, living with my parents instead of on campus. There are different kinds of drinking, and your daughter doesn't sound like she's abusing it, but using it as a tool to help meet people. This isn't necessarily a 'peer pressure' thing - I'm very shy, and find a drink or two can help me get over that and actually talk to people. Having said that, if you see anything that suggests she is drinking to excess, or falling into alcoholism, do let her know that you care about what happens to her, but don't try and tell her to stop, or that you know best. You're her mother, you very well might, but she's a young woman, and she doesn't want to hear that!

Answer 3

Your mom sounds not only greedy and selfish, but depressed. It may not look like depression, but I bet she is. She also seems to feel a sense of entitlement...I don't have everything I want, so you won't either...now, pay up...
You might go to the library, and ask for reference books on the law in your area, as to how long she is technically supposed to provide for you. You might find what you don't want to hear, and that legally she can ask you for more or ask you to leave. (edit: I didn't see high school, I thought it was college. As long as you are still in high school, I don't thing you owe her anything. She should be grateful that you give her money at all.) Sounds like a lose/lose situation to me. I'm sorry you lost your father, and you seem to be losing your mother as well.
It may be in your best interests to move out, maybe find a larger apartment that you could share with 3 or 4 girlfriends to lessen the costs. I would never endorse living with a boyfriend as a means of escape.

Answer 4

Well get rid of some stuff you don't really need for now. Cell phones are not a necessity but are a expense. Cut off cloths shopping (I am going to college and I have no money I have worn the same cloths now for probably at least 3 years); ramen noodles suck but are only 33 cents a pack, Mc Donalds dollar menu, 89 cent cans of soup, don't drive when you can walk, all these things don't spend unnecessary money and you can get a apartment it might not be the most beautiful place but at least its yours. Or apply for a low income housing if you want something bad enough you'll figure out a way. The only way to teach her that her dream isn't working and she'll have to fend for herself is to take your money and get out of her house. Cause as long as your in her grasp she can say and do as she pleases.

Answer 5

Is she trying to put you on a guilt trip? She needs to grow up & quit pressuring her child(18 y.o. or NOT!) and dragging her child into her bill problems. You should not have to grow up hearing about your mothers constant money problems when you probably have your own life to deal with. Have you talked about it at all with her? Use logic as your best bet cause it's just ridiculous what she's doing. As for getting out, good luck cuz I'm trapped in a marriage and can't get out either. :/

Answer 6

Who pays the bills? Who pays rent (or mortgage), utility bills, and whatever else? Tough it out until college, than apply for grants, which you can probably get, and go live on campus. Get a part time job, and go it alone.

Answer 7

You are still in high school, So your mother should still pay for your clothes, food and rent. I think legally she has too actually. If you live there while going to college, than I could see her point.

Answer 8

You're doing a good thing, but please finish HS and College. Then you can help a lot more, be strong and don't look down on your mom. She's the only mom you'll ever have, so help encourage her, but at the sametime realize your dream first.

Answer 9

Take her to the school counselor and see what yu both can work out financially, and it will save a lot of adimosity and bad feelings you have!

Answer 10

see if you and your bf can move into a studio together or get section 8