My ex bf and father of my unborn son was verbally abusive and on drugs and alcohol when we went out in january. we broke up for a long time and now we are talking again. He says hes stopped everything and he came over last night for the first time in 7 months. He was very sweet and gentle. He pulled out my chair at dinner. he was very good with my family. He didn't try anything sexual, just kisses. I was very proud of him but still a little skeptical. He was known for never sticking to his word. Last night he said he was gonna take half the day off of work to see me today. He called this morning on his way home from work to say he was gonna take a shower then he would be over at noon. It seems like he really is a different guy. Do you agree or do you think this might just be an act?
2007-08-06 03:50:02 · 16 answers · asked by camdensmommy07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him a chance, for the sake of your baby. Just keep your guards up.
2007-08-06 03:52:52 · answer #1 · answered by Blessed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It definitely could be an act. But there is only one way to know for sure. Give him a chance. Be cautious, though! Often an abuser will act nice long enough to get their woman back, but then they go right back to being a jerk. If he acts up once, I'd high-tail it out of there for good. Let him know right now that you will, too. You might also consider some couples' counseling to see how serious he is. Good luck!
2007-08-06 10:53:54 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will tell. Watch how he acts over a period of time not just a week. Some males think because they treat you well one day that it corrects all errors previously and that just isn't so. Be very careful and the first sign of abuse get out of the situation quickly although I don't think you should enter a relationship with him at all. You should just remain cordial.
2007-08-06 10:57:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time is going to tell if he is really changing or if he is putting on an act until he can get what he wants. The only way you are going to know is if you stick around long enough to find out. Talk to him and let him know your fears and that he is really going to need to show you that he is a changed man. Be cautious and do not let yourself fall too quickly.
2007-08-06 10:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is really TRYING to change. After all you are having his son. Maybe he did some soul searching over the last several months and realized that he wanted to be a part of his sons life and he knew what he had to do. I would give him a chance, and remember, no one is perfect.
2007-08-06 10:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay skeptical, but there's really no harm in giving him a chance if he seems sincere. You might also want to try couples counseling since you have a baby on the way.
2007-08-06 10:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing to do is take it slow. time will tell. "You can fool some of the some of the time. But not all the people all the time" If he's sincere,he will continue. If he's not and just wants to know if he can come back. It it will eventually show. Good luck to you. Congrats on the baby.
2007-08-06 11:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by Josephine C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you can only know by giving him a chance. I say unfortunately because you have to risk being hurt to find out. I say give him a second chance because I do believe people can change, BUT, if he hasn’t changed, I do NOT recommend third chances. Too many people say they will change just to get out of trouble when they know they are lying all along. If he hurts you a second time you are better off without him.
2007-08-06 11:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by motorcyclegrandmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa,why did he kiss you and he hasn't seen you in seven months? He is moving way to fast and it sounds like he is already calling the shots. I would take this slow for you and your child's sake. Has he helped you with child support? Your baby doesn't even really know him yet...So,I would start with short visits including your child,on your own turf and take one day at a time.I would not get romantic with him at this time,focus on your child with him. He should be concentrating on his child more than kissing you,no pun intended;but keep your eyes open! Best wishes
2007-08-06 11:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by ana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you saw him one night and you think that he has changed. as a woman in my 30s i can tell you that this is AN ACT. do not be fooled. people (women and men) can turn on the charn and act nice and sweet when they want to, but their true nature is still within them. unless he has gone to therapy weekly i would say this is an act and that your child doesnt need a verbally abusive parent.
2007-08-06 10:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by eb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋