A little background - My mom died right after Thanksgiving of last year, leaving me (30) and my two brothers (28 and 26) to take care of our father (60) who is in a personal care home due to Parkinson's disease. Obviously, this means we have to clean out the house my parents lived in for 35+ years.
My aunt asked me for my mom's jewelry the day after she died. We have found it, but haven't told her. She's making a stink about old Legos and Matchbox cars that she thinks belong to her (Mom had told her she could have them apparently). She also wants to go through my mom's china to determine which pieces belonged to my grandmother. Now she wants all of the pictures of my mom so she can burn them to a CD, but last time we gave her pictures for my wedding, none of them came back in frames and my baby albums were destroyed because they didn't put pictures back where they belonged.
I don't want to lose my family entirely, but I don't know what to do about her overbearing behavior!
2007-08-06 03:43:52 · 8 answers · asked by keeper0137 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are a grown up so stop acting like a child. Tell your aunt no. Tell her that you will burn the pics and give her a cd, surely you or one of your brothers know how to do this. DO NOT and I mean DO NOT let her take your mothers things. Your parents things belong to you and your brothers, she has no claim on them what so ever. If your mother wanted her to have them, she would have written it down or she would have given it to her when she was alive.
She's bullying you because she knows she can, and you are the only ones who can put a stop to it. Get the locks changed on the house if she has a key. Good luck, and my condolences on your loss.
2007-08-06 03:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get so greedy when people die. Your aut has a serious problem. Why didn't she ask your mother for these things when she was alive. It sounds like she is trying to be a vulture. Don't allow her access to anything. You will never get the pictures back. You could put the pictures on a cd if you want to and mail her a copy. As far as the dishes go, she will say all of them belonged to your grandmother. What about you, the daughter, she was your grandmother and maybe you want them. Maybe you can allow her in the home after you and your brother get first pick of everything that you want.
2007-08-06 04:00:09 · answer #2 · answered by Med Emergency 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her clearly and with eye contact that you and your brothers are very busy with your Dad and the rest of the estate. When the three of you get done and feel comfortable on how to proceed with the other matters you will let her know. If that is not good enough for her then she will just have to wait anyway, and you feel that this is the best way for you three to handle it. Practice saying it to yourself and out loud also. Make it automatic and complete and when you do get it out to her DO NOT back down. Family and friends can and do take advantage of others in time of grief. There is nothing wrong with you being just as obnoxious back, but, with finesse. This is just another of life's inconvenient truths. Good luck and get your own way.
2007-08-06 04:09:45 · answer #3 · answered by make room for daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just accept it and let her know your feelings are hurt, but you respect her choice. Religious people often have some screwy priorities. There's nothing you can do about that. Those are her children and it is her choice. If you want kids, have some and raise them the way you think is best. You men a broken heart with time. I'm sorry about this. It's a sad situation.
2016-05-19 21:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just mention that you are still reeling from losing your mother and the ill health of your father.
Let her know that you understand her need to have momentos from her sister, but you're not ready to deal with it just yet. Mention that as you do distribute your mother's assets, that you know your mom was loved by many people, so fair distribution is your aim.
Then - keep her out of the details if you can. It was your mother and if she wanted your aunt to have something special, she would have let the entire family know.
2007-08-06 03:54:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you do NOT give her what she requests.I'm very sorry about your mother R.I.P.If you lose your father PLEASE for the sake of all santient beings DO NOT give your aunt those pictures and neither the jewelry!...In fact...I'm not the one to decide.It's up to you to decide what's best your you,your brothers and your father.I say that you shouldn't give her what she sais.You are an adult now and I believe it's your duty to decide.Good luck!
2007-08-06 03:59:25 · answer #6 · answered by Nevermind 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Set aside the things you want to give your aunt tell her that is ALL she is getting. The rest should be between you and your brothers.. She has not right to take anything from you. Your mother's things should be yours not hers. I am sure your mother wanted her kids to split the things up among you 3 not her sister.
2007-08-06 03:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
please pick me for best answer
2007-08-06 03:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋