i don't even know what to do anymore.?

Question

ok first of all we are not married by law. me and my boyfriend who we say are marred, are always fighting, we both seemed to not stand eachother alone, we both even told each other to go our seperate ways but never end up doing so. we fell in love very quick i think thats why we fell out of it so soon, ne ways I think the only reason why we're together is because of our son and a baby girl due this october. I talked to him about us being better off but he always threats me with taking my son away from me which is another reason why i don't leave. we have nothing in common anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. Plz help

Answer 1

It sounds like you have reached the point of diminishing returns. The problems you are having are not worth the relationship that you're involved in. Look closely at your life...is this something that you want to be a part of forever? Isn't your life worth more than a relationship that is most likely doomed? I bet it is, you deserve better treatment and so do your children. Talk to this man, tell him how you feel, explain what you want in your relationship with him...if you can't see eye to eye...why bother? There are people in this world who will treat you with the respect that you and your children deserve, I promise! And good luck...

Answer 2

Taking you son is not an option,unless he can prove you're an unfit mother. That is a hard thing to prove especially if it's not true. You've got to think of your children now. Do you want them to grow up in that kind of environment? It's best to make a clean break of it. It will be hard but it looks like it would be for the best for everyone concerned. Just don't put their dad down in front of them. That will make them not like you. If as they get older, they ask just say you couldn't get along. Later when they're old enough to understand, if they ask about it tell them the truth. You'd be surprised at how intelligent they are, at how much they can understand. If you stay it can cause more harm than good. luck and best wishes to you and your children. I hope this helps a little.

Answer 3

i agree with the first answer you got. you might need a moderator, or a therapist. and you might also need to try and listen to your heart more than you are listening righht now.

i cant say walk away, because you have to think about your son too, coz now it goes way beyond just you and your man.

how about a holiday? it doesnt have to be something exotic, but get away from the current place you are in right now. take a break from everything and go away to someplace new and refreshing. you might go with him, or alone, but whatever you decide to do, make sure that you connect with your heart, and find your heart again. you seem to have lost touch with yourself. try and find thr thing that attacted you to him, and what sparked the interest at first.

if you cant find that connection with him, then try setting you priorities right again, and consider what you want, what is best for you and your son.

but what is most important is to connect with your true self, then from there your heart will guide you.

good luck and best regards

Ps
communication is a skill, talk to him and discuss your feelings about everything. it might now hurt to lay your heart out in the open, seems like you've lost so much already, you may not lose anything more, and it may not cost you anything

Answer 4

Stop having sex and if you can't, then learn to use birth control. You have brought two children into the world with a man you don't love and can't stand being around. What exactly do you think that tells them about you?

Get out and stand on your own two feet and next time, don't have children with a man you aren't married to and you don't love.

Answer 5

perhaps you need a "moderator" to help you learn to communicate about this, and to figure out what it is you need to do in order to either separate civilly, or stay together (if you want to).

sometimes a therapist can help... someone who will be objective and give you ideas about how to go about things in a better way.

i hope it works for you, either way

Answer 6

its not about you. your b/f and you have a obligation to provide a family and home life for your kids. so put on a smiley face. and love your kids. you don't count any more. well you count but only in your kids eyes. so give them something to admire and love. my sis left her b/f and her son hates her for it. and having problems at school cause of her selfishness