About 7 years ago there was a huge family argument.I no longer speak to my mother, or her sister (my aunt, obviously) I moved house and my aunt would drive up outside and sit and stare at the house.Two years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer.It's only now after treatment and operations that I can get back to driving.This aunt stalked me all around Tesco today, and she even sat outside and waited to see what car I drove.She stared at me and my kids, then pointed us out to my niece who was sat alongside her.I don't really want to go to the police at this stage.Her behaviour is menacing and it upsets my youngest son.I've looked through the net to see what advice I can get, but nothing stands out.Have you suffered something similar? Please tell me how you dealt with it.Thank you.I have clinical depression, and this woman is getting to me.I don't want to end up being housebound and afraid to go outside.
2007-08-06 02:30:08 · 29 answers · asked by CMH 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm not sure how seriously the poilce would take me.I'd hate them to make me feel like I'm wasting their time.
2007-08-06 02:35:27 · update #1
My aunt is a real nut job.Threw her only son out at 16 for not keeping his room tidy, and she took his money he'd saved up for a bike.She got sacked at a local shop for stealing.She bullies people like my mother and gets away with it.She doesn't want to talk to me, I know that, she just wants to intimidate me.She's done it with other people in the family.I just know if I go to the police things will get worse.
2007-08-06 03:28:38 · update #2
Could you try a solicitors letter first. And it is a record of your complaint, should you need to go to the police later. Might be a good idea.
Darling, DONT let it get you down if you can help it. Try and tell your son your aunt`s head isnt well and she needs help. Thats if he is old enough to understand mental health problems.
It won`t be easy to ignore the stalking.. but do try to if you can. Keep your chin up, lovie.
2007-08-06 04:42:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
hi hon....
first of all i'd like to say i hope your breast cancer treatment was a success... you're in my thoughts and prayers.
if you think you have problems with depression, consider this woman to have far bigger issues... she's got a few screws loose darlin.
she might be watching you and seems threatening and evil, but the truth is she's likely a little "nutty" and has no life, so she is dragging out your 7-year old argument, by leering and lurking. if she hasn't done anything but stare and lurk up to now, it's doubtful she will do more.
i am sorry for your depression -- i have an illness and one of my symptoms is depression and i have the greatest empathy for you -- it's not fun!
perhaps you can turn this around.... if you look at it from the perspective of a person who has a life, family and things to do, your aunt's behavior is actually rather funny and sad at the same time. i mean really... who has time to stare, follow us around in a store and act like a complete moron? that is rather humorous.... and on the other hand it's pitiful behavior because it's something a 6 year old might do.....
PLEASE don't let her affect your emotions.. it's not worth it... when we allow others to control our emotions from a distance, we aren't using our own, good judgment.
i don't think it would hurt to report her stalking to the police... if she is parking in front of your house, or going out of her way to follow you, at least there will be a report on file.
but really i think she's just a weird soul, who can't let go of the past and has nothing better to do!
i hope you're getting treatment for your depression hon... maybe a therapist would help, if you don't already have one?
sending hugs your way.
2007-08-06 09:44:58 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this woman is upsetting your children and causing that kind of distress for you, call the police and have it on record that she is following you around then get you a video camera(one that dates and times the pictures), teach your children how to operate it, also; keep a small notebook and pen handy at all times and start documenting times, places, what kind of vehicle she was in and what she did, anything out of the ordinary, etc. After you have recorded her a few times, let her see you videoing and/or taking notes, preferably if she is in the vicinity of your home or your job! Please! Don't confront her without her realizing that you have been documenting her behavoir; she could turn the tables and say that you were actually stalking her. So, as soon as you let it be known that you are documenting her behavior go straight to the police, before she has a chance to. Don't let her succeed in destroying your life and especially your children's! I hope I have helped a little. Good Luck and protect yourself and your children's peace of mind don't let this go on to long.
2007-08-06 09:51:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad for you, to go through breast cancer and depression is bad enough without this added complication. Is there no way of mending the relationship between you and your family, your aunt may just be on a mission for your mother, who must be missing seeing you and her grandchildren. Is there nobody else in the family who you could turn to for support - If not then maybe you send your aunt a short note saying that if she continues to harass you then you will get the police involved
2007-08-06 09:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleybumple 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obtain psychological help for your depression.
Warn your aunt that stalking is against the law and that if does not stop immediately you will go to the police. Find out about an order of protection.
While your hesitancy to go to the police about a relative is understandable your own health and the peace of your children are more important.
2007-08-06 09:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by DrIG 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are in a bind since you do not want to go to the police. You do not mention a husband, but if you have a male friend who is large and can look a bit menacing, you should have him go have a nice and polite talk with your aunt to let her know that it would disappoint him greatly if she continued to follow you around or sit out in front of your house. If that doesn't work, it may be time for a not so polite talk...
Good luck
2007-08-06 09:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by remowlms 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, first of all i am very sory about your breast cancer and hope your okay. But then about your stalking situation, dont go to the police, yet because you`ll just be wasting there time. Go to your aunt and tell her that her behaviour is scaring your kids and you`d appreciate it if she`d stay away. 0r you can tell her that she is freaking your kids out and that if she does see you around come up and talk to you and not just sit and stare and point.
Good Luck!
Oh, also i think you should make up with your aunt and mother because you should never leave the house being mad because you dont know when you`ll see them again. But hey its none of my buisness.
2007-08-06 09:37:10 · answer #7 · answered by Gems 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
about 10 years ago, i had an ex that did something like that.
I went to a lawyer and had them send a letter explaining that if this behavior continued, i would have no choice but to take out a peace bond limiting them from coming close to me. He then outlined the concequences if these actions persisted. He stressed the point of a criminal record, court costs and other ramifications, both legal and finacial. It was the best $150 i ever spent. I never heard from her again.
2007-08-06 09:36:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am actually going through the same thing you are going through. Except it is my mom who sets outside of my house. I have choosen to ignore her and if she does come on my property I will call the police for trespassing. There is nothing wrong in calling the police if she is emotionally harming your family ( youngest son). This is called stalking and is against the law.
2007-08-06 11:11:21 · answer #9 · answered by rachel b 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
firstly im sorry for your illness i have someone close to me with the same sort! other than contacting authorities not sure what you can do! is she wanting to make contact with you-can you not contact her and find out what her intentions are? maybe she is hurting inside the same as what you may be. i went through a family argument and didnt talk for 3 years it was hard reconciling but with present situations im glad we did! it may be hard but maybe making amends and letting the water go back under the bridge could help you with your depression - facing things with more people around you can make it easier.
i hope everything works out and things get better for you
2007-08-06 09:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Tony F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋