I have done nothing but show her respect from day one yet all she does is bully me, have digs at me, it is getting to the point where i became suicidal. A few of the things that she does:
*thinks i am her slave and berates me for not cleaning 24/7 even though i work and she doesn't *tells me that i am ugly in comparison to her son (i am not) *thinks i don't know anything (i have a degree) *tells me how to dress
*tells me she looks better than me because she wears make up when going to town and i choose not to *has tried splitting up my marriage*talks about me behind my back*tries to play my husband off against me *wants money from us for everything*is always making digs at me because i am a different religion and I don't do as she says
these are just some of the things, bear in mind that they might not sound like a lot but this has been continuous for 3 years (we live with her as we cannot afford to move out yet) and I have done nothing but show her respect, she doesn't deserve it.
2007-08-06 01:58:35 · 19 answers · asked by Scampi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just want to say that mu husband has stood by side from the beginning and does stand up for me. She has a tendency to do these things when he is not around (he works nights - its rubbish) when he confronts her she denies everything. He knows she is lying but i put up with it cos its his mum and we have nowhere to go - she has threatened to kick us out many a times over silly things such as we don't clean 24/7 (she's obsessed with cleaning). I can't stand up to her yet as she will kick us out no doubt, she is like this with her eldest daughter in law also (they dont live with her - lucky devils) and then she wonders why no one likes her.
2007-08-06 02:27:01 · update #1
You are in charge of your own feelings and cannot blame your mother in law for how you react to what she says. Yes, she is wrong but try not to place an onus on what she says.
P.s. Try to move out, even to somewhere small and cheap.
2007-08-06 02:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by Smokeabella 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I promised myself as a mother of two sons (and as a woman who dated men with mothers like your husband's) that I would NEVER do that to the women in my sons' lives.
It is HER problem. She's insecure about her son's love. However, since you do live there, you have to suck it up. Don't argue back, don't be ugly. Just let it slide off your back and recognize that she is simply an unhappy person.
This will all be over when you guys move out, so keep the peace, be the better person. It will be tough, but know in your heart that you are doing the right thing.
2007-08-06 09:07:22 · answer #2 · answered by leysarob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to move out, while you are living with her she feels she can control and bully you. There must be somewhere you can go to get away from this evil woman. You have to tell your husband either you both move or you will go on your own, no-one should have to put up with this. We lived with my husbands parents for 18 months, my mother in law is nothing like yours, but i was still close to breaking point, I gave my husband the ultimatum, we move or I leave!!!! Try and record her saying this stuff to you so that your husband is in no doubt about how nasty his mother is being to you.
Good luck.
2007-08-06 12:53:58 · answer #3 · answered by Nickynackynoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show her this question.
sounds like her mil was nasty to her but that is no excuse.
anyhow ; if you and your husband are both working then really you have no excuse for not finding your own place to live.
Start looking in the apartments for rent section of the ;local paper and tell your husband her has 1 month to find somewhere just for the 2 of you or you will move out to live on your own.
take some control girl.
2007-08-06 09:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a sick woman. Unfortunately, I don't think there is much you can do to get her to change, especially while you live in HER house. She has this attachment to her son and has put him on a pedastal - girl, nobody is going to be good enough for him. She judges you on everything - and she makes sure that you are a loser. Honey, your husband has to stand up for you with his mother (you can't do it). But he may not be willing to do it because you and him rely on her to live with. You both have to get out of that house, it is what is giving his mother the power to be the way she is with you. Since she knows that you both need her - she is going to mistreat you as long as you are under her household. I hope for your sake, you two can find a way to get out of there. Again, she is a sick woman and she is ABUSIVE. If you both can't leave - can YOU?
2007-08-06 09:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope you and your husband will be able to move out soon.... moving in with relatives, especially in laws is normally a big mistake.
your mother in law is a very difficult person who seems to focus on others instead of herself. she has likely always been this way, so there's not much you can do to change her.
i found an article below about controlling people.
hon, sometimes no one is ever good enough for some women's sons.... and it wouldn't matter who you were, she'd never approve.. it's HER not you!
i wish you all the best...
2007-08-06 09:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mums seem to find it harder to separate from there sons because they are a lot more clingy then girls when they are little. mums get used to this and some can't let go.
My mother in law isn't as nasty as yours sounds but is very smiler she is always making comments about how to raise my son and thinks I'm strange because I don't shove sweets down his throat or let him have alcohol (he's 19m old)!
I don't live with her but I do live with my dad and that's hard we are now looking for somewhere Else yes we will be poor but my sanity will be saved!
For me it's a case of money or mind!
talk to your partner and see how he feels about it if he really loves you he will understand and will want to do whats right for you! good luck
2007-08-06 09:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by mumamia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only does it sound like a lot. It sounds too much and I think she should be put firmly in her place, or she will tread all over you. Tell her that you are no longer prepared to put up with her abuse and do this the next time she is derogatory. Or bosses you about. People like her need to be told and in no uncertain terms.
2007-08-06 09:07:55 · answer #8 · answered by Spiny Norman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue is hers not yours. You seem to know that this is all coming from her insecurities and it doesn't seem like your husband is agreeing with her or buying into any of it so just leave it as her problem, know that you ccannot do anything to change her mind or behavior and so if uyou choose not to allow these untrur=ths to biother you anymore she will eventually stop. You feed into it by responding to her. Let it go andf love your husband for not siding with his Mom.
2007-08-06 09:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by instructror2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im afraid its jealousy, she cant stand the fact that you are taking her little boy away from her. let your husband know what she is saying and doing, because it needs him to stand up to you then maybe she may back off. if it carries on then contact your local community centre or county council and explain to them what is going on and that you can not cope living with her anymore, then they may be able to help you out. if not then the best thing to do is grin and bear it until you move out then she will realise what mess she has made for herself. and that she has pushed her son away
2007-08-06 09:22:03 · answer #10 · answered by Hayley w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋