My partner keeps cooking rich food though he knows it 'disagrees' with me?

Question

Fatty and rich food disagrees with me. If I eat too much of things like cream, butter or pate, I sometimes get stomach cramps that can last a day or more. I’m also trying to lose some weight, so I try to avoid fatty food for that reason too.
However, my boyfriend is an enthusiastic cook and loves to mess about in the kitchen making elaborate meals and quite often these involve the use of cream, butter, olive oil etc.
I’ve explained to him (several times) that I prefer not to have fat added to my food but it goes in one ear and out the other. If I ask him not to use butter, the dish is swimming in olive oil instead! If I say I want a nice simple bit of chicken or fish for dinner I get it fried, not grilled.
Last night he made a Beef Wellington, which is first smothered in pate and then baked in a pastry case - both pate and pastry being really high in fat, of course. He was so looking forward to eating it, and it took him ages to make so I didn’t say anything but just ate it, and

ate it, and it did taste gorgeous but today I am paying the price with the stomach cramps.
I really don’t want to discourage him from cooking as I do appreciate the fact that he does his turn in the kitchen: but how can I make him respect my dietary preferences?

Answer 1

I think there is more to this story than just the cooking. There is a whole passive-aggressive vibe to this. Does your partner feel secure in the relationship? If not, perhaps this is his way of making sure that you will not lose a few pounds for someone else to find you more attractive. This could also be your partner's way to exert authority in your relationship without raising his voice, et cetera. True, your partner may just enjoy gourmet cooking, but I've seen this kind of quiet sabotage before in my own relationships. For instance, my mother in law FREQUENTLY used to invite me for supper when I was totally low carb and looking healthy, and guess what she would be serving? Chicken and noodles! Hmmmm.... Strangely enough, now that I've gained weight again, I'm very rarely invited to supper, regardless of the menu.

Answer 2

I don't believe that he is intentionally out to sabotage your diet plans. He is a "gourmet" chief, not a cook. I happen to have the same taste, and if you really love (not like) food, it's difficult to pair down the tastebuds. Olive oil is less calories than butter and healthier for you which may how he is trying to be considerate. But if it's swimming in olive oil, can't you just eat the chicken/fish without dipping it in oil more? The Beef Wellington sounds fabulous, but you could have just eaten the meat itself and not the puff pastry & pate.

Since you really don't want to hurt his feelings, why don't you look around (either online or bookstore) for a low-fat "gourmet" cookbook that will have the "taste" for him and the "low-calories" for you. Suggest that you've looked over some of the recipes and how scrumptous some of them look, "can we try some of these dishes?" This way, neither of you lose.

Personally, I love to be able to cook like him, however, most people I know can't handle the "richness" of the food. The worst thing you can do to him is make a roast and hand him the salt & pepper.

Answer 3

Ok... this is going to sound silly but please give it a try.
I had the same problems you did. I found out my intolerance to fatty foods was caused by gall stones.
The gall bladder stores bile which is used to digest fats.
If the bile cannot flow from the gall bladder due to gall stones blocking the duct, the results are terrible. There are cramps, bloating, belching, and abdominal pain, nausea and more.

Gall stones are not really stones but rather a rubbery combination of bile salts and cholesterol. They can be softened and passed.
If you do a search for "Gall Bladder Liver Flush" on the internet, you will find several methods. Many are trying to sell their product.
I used the simple gall bladder flush involving olive oil and lemon juice. It is nasty to drink but shocks the gall bladder into expelling the stones. When I did the flush, there were dark green stones when I went to the toilet 2 days later. Within 7 days, I felt much better. I had more energy, my skin looked healthier, and I could eat fatty foods without a problem.
I began to loose weight quickly and slimmed down with no effort. My many allergies even cleared up.
It costs less than 10 dollars to try.
I highly recommend it.
Wouldn't you rather enjoy the lovely foods your partner is preparing fo you?

Answer 4

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Answer 5

It sounds as if he is doing this deliberately. He is deliberately disregarding your wishes. Anyone who can cook beef wellington is quite capable of making something that is easier on your stomach. As a few other people have said, that is typical and classic passive - aggressive behavior. I was married to someone like that. They usually don't change.

Answer 6

If you have asked him more than once, and he won't listen, then I recommend doing your own share of the cooking, and make sure it's something he doesn't care for. When you tell him how hard you worked to make it and he eats it out of courtesy, but then feels bad, tell him that's the way he makes you feel all the time.

Answer 7

I am also a home chef. I look for low fat recipes, and often google for low fat gourmet recipes. Boyfriend should get a crash course into what that fat is doing to HIS body. He has to realize it's hurting him too.....clogged arteries leads to stroke!

Meanwhile, you might have to cook for yourself, or get a few low fat frozen dinners to make your point.

PLEASE stop eating that stuff.

PS: I never ever use creams or milk, , spare a bit of cheese. I use soy milk...or almond milk. Thought the taste is a bit not as rich, I still enjoy the flavors.

He's just being pigheaded, thinking the stuff will not taste good.

My daughter is vegan, and therefore eats no dairy whatsoever....and Do I ever look forward to a dinner invite. She even gets cakes to rise out of applesauce, no eggs, and even has a non dairy egg free cream topping out of things like soy which are incredible. She's a dancer and has tot watch her weight, but not her taste.

Answer 8

If you two have just started dating then maybe he's trying to impress you with his meals. Other than that I would say, maybe he's taking it out on you(being passive aggressive) because he's in a gay relationship!

Answer 9

he's a cook ehh
he'll have thyme and rosemary
enough of that (and hot sause) snuck into his portion on a day before something big will give him enough haert burn and mouth burn to give him simpathy pagnes

Answer 10

Why is a co-worker cooking you all this food. Tell this person you are going to start bringing your own food to work.