Do I have to send a gift with an apology for not being able to attend the wedding of an acquaintance?

Question

We were friends a decade ago, but I've seen her once in six years.

Answer 1

Normally yes but i wouldnt bother if you aint seen her for that long. Do send a card though

Answer 2

If you were invited to the wedding, then yes, you MUST RSVP. That's just a courteous thing to do - she's got to get a head count to the caterer, figure out seat assignments, etc. So yes, if she's extended the courtesy of an invitation, you owe her the courtesy of a reply.

Now, as for the gifts: Gifts are not required. Ever. However, it's an extremely kind gesture to send a gift. It doesn't have to be an extravagant gift, even just a small gift certificate or a nice bottle of wine and some stemware is a wonderfully thoughtful gesture!

Answer 3

I am somewhat unclear on just what you mean. Were you not able to attend at the last minute? You RSVP'd that you would attend then couldn't make it? In this case an apology would certainly be appropriate. Sending the gift you had planned to give the couple would be a nice touch also. Or is the wedding coming up in the future and you know you can't make it? In this case I would say a note indicating your regret that you cannot attend is sufficient.

Answer 4

Once in six years? Only if you were best friends for a long time or something of the sort. If you were just acquaintances, no. Would you expect a gift from them at your wedding?

Answer 5

Hi,

It is usually tradition that you send a present and letter of apology - sometimes the letter/card is read out by the Best Man during the speech so putting something like 'Sorry I can't be here on your special day, but wishing the two of you a very happy, healthy and sucessful marriage' ect.
Maybe buy them a small present or some vouchers for John Lewis ect or somewhere else.

At the end of the day you need to do what you feel comfortable with.

My friend had same problem so just bought them a 20 voucher from John Lewis in the card!

Up to you though!

Lx

Answer 6

Definitely advise you will not be attending. With regard to a gift this is entirely up to yourself. It it usual to give a gift if invited to a wedding but better not to give than give a gift grudgingly as then it is not been given with a good heart. Not saying you should give a gift as perhaps you may think this is the only reason you received the inviation? That certainly can happen.

Answer 7

You don't have to send a gift OR an apology.

You can send a gift if you would like. Return the RSVP stating you can't make it, you don't need to apologize. And don't feel obligated to give a gift to someone you rarely see. Sometimes people use weddings as a way to get more gifts, so don't feel obligated.

Answer 8

No, you do not need to send a gift. Usually there is a part on the invite to send back to say whether you are attending or not, just send back the non attendance bit, no need for a gift unless you feel you want to.

Answer 9

You certainly dont NEED to send a gift but a card would be nice. For courtesy, let this old acquaintance know you wont be attending, you dont need to say why not, but the couple do need to know for seating plans and catering for numbers.
In the card, pop a little note to congratulate her on her forthcoming wedding date.

Answer 10

Look on the invite, does it say RSVP? Then yes send a card wishing her the best and apologise for not being able to attend.

No gift required.

Answer 11

Normally you just send your regrets for being unable to attend on the RSVP card that you mail back to them. Whether you get them a wedding gift is completely up to you.