I seem to be thinking this is the case which is putting me off having a baby just yet. My husband is 28 and very keen to start trying, I'm am 23. We enjoy a very relaxed life and often see friends and have fun nights out, will all this be over when we have a child or will we be able to keep going out from time to time and still enjoy the things we do now? At the moment I feel prepared for a baby to completely take over my life and everything I currently do will be over, but is this really the case? My husband is telling me its not but I'm not so sure!
2007-08-06 00:01:24 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
It depends upon who you are. Some parents don't feel comfortable bringing their child with them places while they are young. With my first we did just that, we took her with us whether we we're visiting friends, going to eat or attending a party. When they're young the can sleep through anything and almost always fall asleep in the car seat. We just made sure at friends we had a quiet place to put her. When she grew out of car seat we brought our pack-n-play with us. We did this regularly until she was about 6 mos then stopped doing so much after that. I warn you however, with the first this can be done, anymore and it doesn't really work well. Some people would find my methods a bit unusual but I've seen young babies and toddlers living with their moms and/or dads on dead tour (living in a van roving around country), which I wouldn't do but, it provides a good idea of how flexible children are at a young age.
2007-08-06 00:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be straight up honest with you. Yes, your life will be over. Your husband has no clue. Plus its YOU that has to deal with baby. Husbands have it easy.
Here's the details. When you get about 5-6 months pregnant. You spend most of the time feeling sick and too tired to do things. Maybe walk around and look at stuff if you call that fun.
When the baby is born...it's non-stop crying/whining...for the next 5 years. You don't sleep...well you can...for maybe an 3 hours at the most before you have to wake up to feed the baby. And if you are breastfeeding...you'd HAVE to pump every 4 hours or else you won't being able to keep up. If you have to work a job on top of all that, you'll have to pump to make sure you have enough to feed the baby while you are gone. And if you can't keep up and stay dedicated every freaking hour of the day your going to be told your a bad mother for not breastfeeding.
Here is my schedule with a six month old.
5pm Breastfeed baby (either pump or have baby latch, oh by the way the pain and annoying feeling of having something latched on to your breast makes you feel like ...well the baby is crying again....i cant even finish typing this.
2014-01-22 01:05:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at first, yes, the life of going out and partying is over...like it should be. A new baby needs her mommy frequently. But she/he will grow and soon you will be able to leave him or her with a sitter and go out. But you should be prepared to be at home alot with the baby and if you are someone who hates being at home, then don't have a baby. This is what they need. But on the other hand, I would say that after I had my baby, it was like my life was just beginning. You learn that there are more important things in life than partying and "having fun". Children will give you your best memories and being a mom is truly the most fulfilling thing in the world. But I would say get the party bug out of your system before having children, that way when you do have them, you can be totally devoted to being a mom.
2007-08-09 09:31:30 · answer #3 · answered by mamaofone1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is how you are feeling, you are probably not yet ready for a baby. When you are ready for a baby- you will yearn for that little person and not even think about the friendships, etc.
Is your life over??? NO!!! I think it's a new stage. Once you have children, you will always have children though- something to consider. They are blessings and so much fun. It's hard work too though.
No, you will not be able to go out as often- but after you have children you may not want to.
Here is an example-
I had gone back to college when we got pregnant with our son. Prior to this, my husband and I were together for 5 years. We thought nothing of taking off for a weekend to go camping, staying at friends homes, going out to the bars and clubs, etc. I became pregnant and that little life growing inside made me realize what was really important.
10 years later- we added a daughter. Now, we really don't care if we go out or not. It's not a priority to us. Our kids are always with us- always. We like it that way. I work full-time and feel that my time with them is precious. Once in awhile, we will leave them with the grandparents to go out for a few hours but in our daughters 12 months and outside of work, she has only spent 3 hours without me.
So, as you get older your priorities change too.
There is nothing bad about waiting a few years to have a baby. Children are lifetime commitments. If you are not ready, talk to your husband and ask if he could wait to try for a year or 2. My husband was ready for a second child long before me. Now, we are ready for a 3rd and trying to get there.
Good luck to you and listen to your heart.
2007-08-06 00:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by NY_Attitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its only over if you want it to be. You will not be able to pick up and go to a movie or a club without finding a sitter, but you can still do anything else you have done in the past such as visit friends, eat out, vacation etc...
My wife and I had out daughter seven months ago. In that seven months our daughter has been to Boston, Washington D.C., the Hamptons (all to visit family and friends) and in October we are going to Vegas. Everything becomes a little more time consuming. You can not just throw some clothes in a duffel bag and you are off. Loading up the car with the babies clothes, food, toys etc.. is time consuming.
Your life will revolve around your child. Your visits with friends may be built around nap time, but your life will not stop.
2007-08-06 00:50:30 · answer #5 · answered by Eric G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're life isn't over, but it takes on a whole new journey. You can still see friends, but if they don't have kids it might be hard for them to work around your new schedule. You can still have your fun nights out, but they probably won't be every weekend like they were before. You might be able to find a sitter and treat yourselves once in a while. You can find different things to do when you go out so that you can bring your baby along.
2007-08-06 04:04:45 · answer #6 · answered by Due Feb 25th with a girl! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your life changes dramatically when you have children. For one thing there are other people to consider other than just yourselves. So days out at the beach go from sunbathing to sandcastle building, nice meals out at expensive restaurants become slightly less nice meals at much cheaper, family friendly places, food shopping becomes an hour long game rather than a 20 minute rush. In short, everything you do changes. But what you'll find is that the things you thought you liked about your life at the moment are replaced by things you love a lot more. You're never lonely, never short of something to do, and you've got an excuse to always have poster paint and playdoh in the house!
As for going out, on the occasions you manage to get a babysitter you trust who's free on the night you want to go out, you'll enjoy yourself a lot more. Ok, you'll have your mobile on vibrate in your back pocket and you'll check it every half an hour, but because you can't just go out whenever you feel like it becomes an occasion again rather than just a way of life. Which makes everytime you go out as a couple feel more special, almost like starting dating again! Which is a lot more fun!
Friends have to accept that you aren't as free to go out whenever you feel like, and will just have to come to you instead! (Which is much nicer for you as you don't have to go anywhere and they're always the ones bringing a bottle/dessert!)
2007-08-06 00:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by georgina155744 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The life that you knew... will be over. Because insted of thinking about only you and your husband you will have this tiny baby that depends on you to bathe, change, feed, dress, and play with. You have to be willing to change plans at the last minute. If the baby gets sick... you stay home. Your old life as you knew it does end... but an even better one begins. Good luck.
2007-08-09 23:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by ~<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, having kids does not stop your life. My husband and I have 3 girls, and we still hang out with friends on weekends, go on dates, stuff like that. Granted, it's a little harder to do, once kids are in the picture, but it's not impossible.
Either hang out at your house (so it's easier on you), or take the child(ren) with you (if there are going to be other children), or see if someone will (occasionally) babysit for you (so you and the hubby can have some time together).
2007-08-06 00:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Shorty♥ 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Of course things will change. But your life wont "be over".
Yeah - you wont be able to go out and party everytime you please. Well some people do, but they are not good parents and are trash in my book.
You still will be able to go out and do things, but you have to balance your time and remember, especially for the first several years baby comes first.
2007-08-06 00:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋