Should I help my parents financially? If so, how much?

Question

My parents do not speak much about finances and they have never asked for money, but the last couple of times I have spoken w/ my mom, she talked about how dad said that they were cutting back and becoming more frugal in stuff since money was not as plentiful around the house as usual. They have 9 children, 2 who are moved out and working (I am one of them) and 2 others who still live at home (ages 19 and 17) and working. I was thinking that I should help out w/ finances and also speak to the other working family members about doing the same. I guess there are 4 questions. Does this sound like a good idea? How much would be reasonable? How should I address my siblings concerning this? Should I continue this after they are doing better financially?

Extra details on me & family
I am 21, no kids or wife, moved out when I was 17

w/ other siblings, youngest is 2 y/o, so not much expectation of family support from her :)

Answer 1

Well how wonderful of you to offer to do that.... if you can afford it, by all means offer to help them out...... Not a loan but just some "extra" money... But I now will say something that might make alot of people mad, but they brought the 9 kids into this world, they should have thought about providing for them before they had them.... Sorry but in this day and age, its so expensive raising a family, let alone trying to get them into college so they can have a good life and provide for their families. Just my thoughts and opinion.....

Answer 2

You're a very good son to think about helping your parents out. I think all children should give something back to their parents once they're adults and can afford to do so.

I just got back from visiting my family in Ohio (I live in England) and I couldn't believe the prices of things in the US. I'm not surprised at all that your parents may be struggling, especially with so many kids still in the house. While in Ohio I saw on the news that a gallon of milk will soon be over $5 and I nearly keeled over when I saw the prices of cereal and produce.

First I think you should have a little meeting with your siblings that are working and discuss how best to help your parents and if/how to approach them. They might deny they need help when they in fact may really need it. Identify where your family may need the most help. Utilities will be a big area but food is probably even bigger. Maybe you and your siblings could pool your money and get your parents a gift card to your local Kroger or Wal-Mart to help with the groceries.

I hope everything goes ok and remember that through helping your parents out you'll also be helping out your younger siblings.

Take care.

Answer 3

I think you are a very good son for wanting to help. As to how much. Talk to your mom. Try to find out exactly in what area are they having problems with. And if you do help. I would say it would be OK to stop once the main bills or problems are over. The 19 and 17 if still at home. I believe to have more of a responsibility to help than the ones no longer at home. Make them aware. That there are house bills food bills, and that with so many family members living at home. The load is to much for your parents alone. I wish you and your family well. Take care.

Answer 4

I think u all ought to help mom and dad out financially. Your parents took care of u and i am sure did with out when u all were growing up and now they might need some help back. Maybe u all can go into together and pay the mortgage or car payments or even buy them food to last them a whole month. I know this sounds expensive, but my mom lives with us and i am 41 and my hubby is 40 and she is 83 and she doesnt have the income she had when my dad was alive and i think of nothing to pay for all her meds in a month, or buy her new clothes and pjs or whatever she needs. this comes from our income not hers and she will give me 60.00 a month for groceries for the month and i put that up and get her what she likes for the month in groceries, and trust me she is a snacker and likes junk food and drinks. so it sometimes strains us a little but she and my dad gave us kids the world and the my other two siblings took what they could get and ran and moved far away and now i take care of her . so i just think this is the right thing to do and god helps me by making me patient and understanding and he always provides for us...

Answer 5

I used to ask myself the same question.
Your intentions will rule what you do. If you don't expect anything in return, not even a thanks. If you want to give because you just know you should, then do it anonymously such as paying off a few credit bills for them or something. As far as how much, that depends on what you can easily afford and what their bills are. Doing it anonymously will give you a good grasp of their financial situation, since you will have to make allot of phone calls.
The biggest reason for anonymity is the possible rift it may cause between you and your siblings. Even if nothing is ever said they will know that you gave so, so should they. Maybe they wont be in a situation that would allow such a gift. It also spares your parents feelings by knowing that they took money from one of their own children.
If you don't believe it will bother them, just see if your dad will take a hand-out without shame. Of course if you don't care if you shame your parents...

Answer 6

If you feel that you want to help, that is nice. Don't put yourself in a bind, however. The two that are living at home should definitely be contributing to the expenses. It is up to your parents to ask them for help. You might want to make a suggestion to them. The other working sibling is not obligated, as you are not. I would only mention that you were thinking of helping them some. If you are married and have children, then your family should be your first priority.

Answer 7

of course you should help them :) have a family conference and ask according to what can be given.....with 9 of you $60-$70-$50 a month for your parents would give them an extra $500 a month......that would be a huge help........if they are frugal people and don't have huge expensise......not everyone will be able to give the same amount.......but to pull together as a family for your parents is an awesome thing......and then once they are ok........keep saving this $ for a family vacation for all of you :)

Answer 8

I think that that yes we should give back at least a little of what our parents have gived to us. specially if you know they need the money, how much I can not tell you because all depends in how much you can afford to give. Yes do talk to your sibblings about it, not all of them will be willing to help them but always do what you feel specially if it comes from your heart, it doesnt matter how much but your intentions. Trust me on this you will make your parents very proud if you help them. I honestly will help them as long as necesary.

Answer 9

Very good question...i really appreciate you...at least you have that feeling ..that they are your parents..

I am an Indian normally we give more respect and love to our parents and its our (children) duty to look after their parents till their death...this is our culture.... taught us and still we Asians follow this.

as you said...definitely you should consult / request to your siblings for the same..if they are not agree..in the first instance explain to them still they are not agree..then forget their help and contribute yourself whatever you can..

continue your help till they are in financially better..,and in between if you have a partner (gf or wife) make her understand the importance of helping our own parents.

Answer 10

yes u shd help ur parents as they have brought upto the position were u r earning know... start contributing wht u like is good... s u shd continue doing this n also tell ur siblings...