I have been dating the most wonderful guy for 2 mths who is good looking, kind, considerate and great fun. I borrowed a pair of socks from him and came across loads of photos of a stunning woman at the back of his drawer. I shouldnt have looked at them but I did. She is beautiful, has an amazing body and perfect breasts. He was really embarrassed I had seen them and said she was the love of his life her but she didnt want a commitment and left hi. They finished after 3 years, 6 months ago.
Every time we make love he has his eyes shut and last night he whispered her name as he climaxed. He was so apologetic and upset and tried hard to reassure me. I have this horrible feeling he is still hung up about her. It is a gut feeling. I feel like second best here.
2007-08-05 23:12:13 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Definately ... he's not over her.
I mean how 'real' is it really, that someone would call out the wrong name ?
Move on hun. Sorry.
2007-08-05 23:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by • Koala • uʍop ɹǝpun 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he does still have something there for his ex, and to do that during sex is really not acceptable is it?
You need to sit down and have a really in-depth talk about this and sort it out, no matter how upset either of you get.
He needs to move on, and if he hasnt, theres no way he should be in a relationship. I dont know you, but nobody deserves to be second best, and in this case, it looks like you are. Dont put this down to being personal to you, because he would be the same with any girl I expect, but you shouldnt put up with being treated like that.
2007-08-06 06:45:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there Anna, It must be awful for you to feel that you are second best. But what you need to understand is, we all have a past with past relationships. Your guy was with this woman for a considerable amount of time, and he was very fond of her. He has only been with you for two months. This will explain why he made the mistake of saying her name at such an inappropriate moment. I am sure that he has come to terms with the fact that his relationship with this woman has ended; and it seems like he is doing his best to move on. He must be feeling embarassed and mortified for making this mistake. When I met someone new, I must admit that I did say my ex's name a few times without realising it. I was with my ex for five years and I got in to saying their name over a long period of time....it was a case of breaking the habit, not because I still had feelings for them....I felt awful each time I did it. My partner understood and we both got over it. As difficult as it may be for you, you will need to be a little understanding and forgive him this little slip. I wish you all the best! :o)
2007-08-06 06:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was a pretty hurtful thing he did! If he is saying her name in bed then that would lead me to wonder if he is still having sex with her. What he did was unforgivable and if he is still hung up on her that much then this relationship will go down hill and you will be the one coming out the other side with a broken heart. I would finish it before you get in too deep. He will never fully be yours until he is over her.
2007-08-06 06:34:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like he's over her at all. If he's serious about you he should do away with the photos of his ex, how can he move on whilst still keeping those?? If he calls out her name again, whether when climaxing or otherwise, then I'd say it was time for you to move on.
All the best x
2007-08-06 06:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is definitely not over her. It has only been 6 months. If she was the love of his life, you may be, I hate to say, his rebound. Give him some time. Perhaps he will fall for you the same way one day. I wouldn't let myself get to hung up on him right now, just in case.
2007-08-06 06:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, he's hung up on her. But to some point I think just about everyone has some feelings about a former relationship. However he should get rid of the pictures and should focus on you more.
2007-08-06 06:19:25 · answer #7 · answered by The Curmudgeon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are sure he isn't seeing someone else I wouldn't worry too much. You haven't been withhim long and I can assure you if you have been with someone a long time it is hard to get them out of your system. Tell you were hurt but understand, be there for him and you will one day be the one whose name is on his lips at all times
2007-08-06 06:19:29 · answer #8 · answered by lucassfred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better drop him like a bad habit because it will only hurt worse in the future when you finally admit what you already know!
As if the pictures weren't the tell tale sign alone!!!
The mouth only speaks what the heart and mind is focused on and you heard for yourself what name he said!
2007-08-06 06:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by runninfool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't second best. He wouldn't have committed to you if he thought of you like that. You aren't, however, his first love. Nothing will change that. Him calling out her name is f*cked up though. I'd make him burn those pictures with you for him to show you that he has moved on and has his mind in the present with you. If he is unwilling, well then I guess you are second fiddle and I'd just leave for someone you'd be the best to.
2007-08-06 06:19:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
May be after they broke up, he didnt date anyone and masturbated himself too much in front of the pictures of his ex...
But if you still want to be with him, tell him to destroy the pictures if he wants to have a future with you
2007-08-06 06:34:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋