Mysterious break up..what shall i do next?

Question

My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago...when he dumped me by text (we are both in mid 20's, been dating for 7 months and he is a psycologist) saying his head wasn't in the right place and his life isn't going in the direction he wanted it to. After an incredibly heated conversation where I said some awful things he hung up and cut me from his life, giving no reason for the breakup and refused to tell me he wasn't in love with me. We have had little contact since, I emailed to apologise about what I said and explain it and he emailed back to say we need to go our separate ways. I asked if we could meet to get closure and he said he wasn't ready. Prior to the break up, literally the day before he was tellign me how much he loved me. I don't know what to do as I haven't got closure and am still very much in love with him. Please let me know what you think I should do?

Answer 1

he's a psychologist and dumped you by text?

Answer 2

You poor thing. I am going through the same thing. It is the most horrible thing. He made some jerk excuse that I make him happy but he cant make me happy, oh that old chestnut. What an idiot. I was so devastated I couldnt go to work, I couldnt do anything. No closure, nothing.

He should be disguisted with himself. His behaviour is selfish, cruel and calculating. If this is how he deals with a girlfriend then I can assure you, like me, you have had a lucky escape. Thats how I see things. It doesnt help with th pain, the anxiety and the shock but it did make me question how he would cope if I had an accident, got ill or in an emergency situation.

I know when all the pain has faded I will look back on my ex and realise I am better off without him. I am also prepared to find out he has met someone else, gone back with an ex, blah blah. I am also prepared for him to get in touch and to never hear from him again. I am concentrating on myself, exercising more and getting out. He is on my mind from morning to night but I will not let him destroy him. I am number one in my life, I am starring in my film not him. You take care and if you need to feel the pain, feel it, but move on slowly and surely. He is a git and his actions have proved this.

Answer 3

Wow, your situation is totally similar to one that I experienced a few years ago.

I was seeing this girl for about 6-7 months and as far as I was concerned everything was going great. We were even planning a holiday together.

Then out of the blue I receive a text message (I remember it as I was walking down the street from the shop back to my flat) saying that I don't think things are working out between us and that she had made up her mind it was time to end it. I was so devestated I actually couldn't walk anymore and had to sit down right there on the pavement.

Dumping by text is cruel, heartless and cowardly. I don't think you should have apologised to him. The best thing to do is to get over it.

The pain was so intense that for a few days I couldn't even function but gradually I just let the feeling be there and day by day the pain faded bit by bit and eventually I woke up and it was just gone. It was actually a very spiritual experience. I learnt to accept pain and that by accepting it and allowing it to be without any attachment to thought it faded so much quicker.

Don't chase him. Keep your dignity. Just be. Breathe, drink water and just allow the pain to be there. Don't resist the pain. Just completely allow it to be and eventually it will fade. Don't attach it to thought.

Good luck.

Answer 4

The fact that he dumped you by text shows how spineless he is. He just wanted an easy way out. I dont think you need closure from his, as I think it'll make you want him even more, just think ... somebody who dumped you by text can't have had much respect for you, or much courage.

That personally would be enough for me. I say you were within your rights to have a go at him.. Good luck.. xxx

Answer 5

WOW! That guy has no regards for anyone's feelings but his own. Don't tell him you are sorry. Don't even try to crawl back to him. He will continue to reject you. I hate to say this to you because I know you are hurting, but you need to dump him, and realize how bad of a person he is. He has no backbone, and isn't really what I would call a man. You need to stand up for yourself, and reject any of his advances. The only chance you have of even regaining a relationship with him is to shut him down completely. If he tries to get in contact with you shut him down and don't respond. You need to use some psychology on him. I know that its mysterious to you, but what it sounds like to me is that things got to close and he doesnt' want that kind of a relationship with anyone. so, its just easier for him to dump you.

Answer 6

I always thought psycology majors were wackos.
Forget the closure, he sounds emotionally imature and fickle as they come. Thank your lucky stars you only invested 7 months and not 7 years of your life with him. It's over, the door has been slammed and locked shut, time for you to move on. Don't waste your tears on this one, just consider yourself lucky and start a new chapter in your life.

Answer 7

He sounds like a selfish asshole! Some guys don't want closure. They want to keep it open so they have the opportunity to come back...if they want. I would try to move on. I know it hurts but keeping this up will only hurt more in the long run. It shouldn't be only on his terms. You are a person with emotions too.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Ok, so I'm using my husbands site to get some work done.......honey I'm sorry to say this, but he is most likely with someone else......I've been through this same thing......it's such a horrible feeling......and closer.....him saying he's moving on might be all you get.......guys like this are so weak.......cant face us with the truth because there so selfishly absorbed in their own affairs......I hope you move on and love yourself enough to believe that you deserve to be respected as a person.......screw him.....he may have done you a huge favor......I know my ex did.....thank God he was a huge asshole......I never would of met the man of my dreams........good luck :)

Answer 10

If he really loved you, he would not have broken up by text. He has no guts. You are lucky to be rid of him. He is not much of a psychologist either. He should know that is not the way to end a relationship. It shows no respect for your feelings. He is a real jerk!!

Answer 11

Regardless of how it ended, he broke up with YOU. Instead of running him down and asking for closure, take it as a lesson learned and move on.