If you are in a relationship that isn't working, and you meet someone you really like?

Question

what do you do?
You don't want to hurt the person you are with.
Do you feel guilty for thinking about someone else?

Answer 1

If you plan to see this new person, then you need to tell the other that you feel it is best if you break up. Don't cheat. Let her find someone else too!

Answer 2

You should end the relationship you are if you are unhappy regardless of whether there is someone else or not. It might just be a case of thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and if your relationship is not working this other person might just seem like a way out.
I would first and foremost decide how you feel about the relationship you are already in and if you are ready to move on you should have some time to yourself before you pursue a relationship with this other person.
You are feeling guilty probably more because you know the relationship isnt working and I would come clean and be open with your partner. Only then can you make any decisions about the future.

Answer 3

I was with someone I was unhappy with when I met my now fiance. I realised that I was unhappy and ended the relationship, not expecting anything to happen with my fiance but here we are four years down the line. He just opened my eyes and made me realise that I was unhappy. There is no easy way to hurt someone so I'm afraid the best thing to do is just to end it and get it over with. Nothing may happen with the other person but why stay with someone when you have realised that you are not happy? Easier said than done, believe me, I know!, but in the long run, it is better to end something than be miserable. No good can come of staying with someone you don't love. Don't feel guilty about thinking about someone else, you are only human and people have done much worse!

Answer 4

Hi,

If you in a relationship you don't feel is working then it obviously not right for you because if you were in a happy and stable and secure relationship you would not be finding anyone else attractive.

I would decide if I wanted the relationship to continue and if so explore all avenues at making it work and cutting off this other person so I can give 100% to working out the relationship. At least then if it didn't work out I could say I had tried my best.

If I decided that I did not want to be with partner and had already explored all avenues to making it work and reached a dead end then I would talk to partner and tell him feelings and end it so we both knew where we stood and that no one else was involved.

I would remain single even if I liked this other person and if something was there I would take it slowly and just date - if they liked me enough they would understand my need to take things slowly.I wouldn't want to drag them into my relationship troubles and dating allows me to get to know them better.

I feel it best to be single after a break up as gives time to reflect and get over relationships and learn to enjoy own company without need of a partner and figure out what you want from a relationship.

Hope this answers your question!

Good luck!

Lx

Answer 5

Hi there Scrofula, The bottom line is, that if your relationship is not working, you simply must end it. Especially if you have met someone that you really like. It would be wrong to be dating someone else while you are already with someone. There is no easy way of ending a relationship, it will be difficult for you, and you will feel guilty; but it is only fair that you end it. You cannot stay with someone purely because you feel sorry for them. Tell her that your relationship has run its course and that it is not working anymore. Tell her sorry but you think it is for the best that you go your separate ways. She may be very upset and even cry, but you must be firm but fair. She will get over it in time and move on.
I wish you all the best! :o)

Answer 6

Relationships break up all the time. Almost half of UK marriages break up. These almost INVARIABLY involve one of the participants being hurt (in the short term at least), particularly if the reason for the breakup is the usual one (the other person has met someone else who they really like). So you find yourself in a situation which is hardly uncommon. The bottom line is whether your current relationship is, in the end, going to bring you down to the point where you will reak it up anyway - in which case your current partner is gonna get hort sooner or later. So as Shakespeare said 'If 'twere to be done, tis best doen quickly.'

Answer 7

If not married I would break up with the one I'm with. To feel guilty is normal. To stay in a relationship because one doesn't want to hurt the other person's feelings. Only causes more problems later on.

Answer 8

Let it be known in a tactful way never intentionally try to hurt anyone. If you don't address this issue it will just get worse and you will cheat. So hit them with you need to talk and on your part you think that we should just be friends until we are able to feel mutually the same for one another. If you are young this is why I tell my kids never commit to a serious relationship because it is so much more out there... Date but let it be known that you are single so that there is no problems of being accused of cheating, you cant cheat if you are single and it's known that you date who you please when you please... The longer you prolong it the worse it will be. never be with someone out of simpathy or just to keep them happy it will never work for long... Resentment will set in and the problems really start.... People are crazy now and can't take rejection so you need to be very clear and don't send any mixed messages it will only confuse the situation... Good luck and GOD BLESS..........

Answer 9

I would feel a little guilty but I wouldn't stay in a relationship that didn't make me happy. I think you should tell your partner how you feel. If she really loves you she will understand and set you free. If she doesn't understand and throws a fit, then it was not worth it at all. She doesn't get you and obviously she doesn't care about your feelings. I say go for it man! And don't tell har about that other person that will just make things worse! Hope I helped.

Answer 10

Start hanging around the other person you have found that you are really liking to make sure that you actually like them. Tell the one you are with that you need some time to yourself and you think it would be good if you separated for a while. You can date this new person, but make sure before you separate from your current person that the other you like feels the same about you and wants a relationship.

Answer 11

If the relationship isn't working - why stay? But don't go doing the dirty on that person - do the honorable thing and say.. hey this isn't working .. I want out. The main aim for humans is to find someone to be comfortable with - not put up with someone we aren't happy with.

Choice is all yours buddy ;-)