I'm wide awake and want to go to sleep. Anyone know any sleep chants, prayers, animal sacrifices I could use?

Question

Eagle Woman - Good idea, but the cops don't come to my neighborhood unless someone fires a gun or someone gets stabbed.

I'd be outside naked for a loooong time waiting for the po po.

Answer 1

Well I heard if you cut the throats of the sheep while they jump over your bed, God will love your sacrifice....................................................

*awkward silence*

Answer 2

Eagle women, that idea is good and it does work. We have "customers" like that alot of times a week at the hospital. They just want a little Dr. Feelgood so they babble on and do get some halidol and after about 12 hours they get shipped to the screw factory to be re-threaded.

We get about10-15 bad ones a week. Hope nobody listens to this advice while I'm working. I deal with this stuff much more now that I'm retired than I ever did on the Police department.

Answer 3

You know you don't want to pray, but I'll tell you what works every time. Get buck naked and run down the street shouting that the world is ending tonight! When the ambulance comes, [ yeah, the police usually get there first,] but if you are following instructions, this will work. They will take you to the hospital and shoot you with a La La shot, and you will sleep. If you act a fool in the morning, they will give you another shot after you talk to some guy. At least that's what I was told.

Answer 4

Since a hot bath and masturbation (better together!) have already been recommended...

First you will have to leave Yahoo! Answers because there's too much fun and excitement here! Avoid anything even remotely interesting.

I like to bore myself to sleep. Some of my methods include: doing logic puzzles, counting primes in my head, perusing owner's manuals (but this didn't work with my crockpot or griddle manuals, when I read those I just got hungry), and reading any document that's chock-full of incomprehensible legalese. I don't own a TV at the moment, but watching Carson Daly used to do the trick as well.

So what bores you? Is there a TV show you always fall asleep watching? Some kind of reading material you tire of easily? Figure out whatever it is that you find mind-numbingly tedious and get to it. Good luck! :-)

Answer 5

Try two Tylenol PM capsules. Lights out, sheet over your head, lying on your side, with thumb on your "third eye" (located about where your eyebrows meet). You might have an inane TV show playing quietly in the background, just to distract you from thinking.

Answer 6

Lay on your back with your arms crossed over your chest,like a baby in a womb.Now breathe in and out deeply and in time ,IE breathe in for 4 seconds and breathe out for 4 seconds,do this for 10 Min's and you will sleep .Sometimes you will fall asleep while doing the breathing.

Answer 7

A hot bath and some warm milk, you can put a shot of bourbon in it.

You could also try turning off your computer.

Answer 8

Take a soft cuddly animal, preferably a small dog or cat, place the animal on your stomach, and gently stroke it until you fall asleep. Sweet dreams.

Answer 9

Try closing your eyes then count to 200

Answer 10

I'd smoke one with you , but I'm out. I'm wide awake, too. This sucks.

Answer 11

Hemlock works