Why do parents insist on forcing their religion on their children instead of letting them find their own...?

Question

conclusions? I went to Sunday School until I was 11 at which point I was allowed to stop going as I was sick of being bullied by the older kids (constant taunting and belittling comments) and was sick of being patronised and being told I wasa dreadful sinner and that God did not approve of the way I was living my life. I still feel screwed up because of this as I still have a deeply hidden fear that my agnostic views which lurch ever closer to atheism will result in me going to hell.
And before anyone says any different,I love my parents very much I just resent the fact these fears still haunt me. So thanks a lot to my sunday school teachers and the minister for the conflict I still feel 23 years on. And yes I do feel I have a right to be angry as well. It's only since I read The God Delusion a year ago, that I have felt I could face up to these things and speak out.

Anyone else feel this way?

Answer 1

Hiya, Honey you are NOT going to hell, you are already there!! I was lucky, my parents had a very broad minded approach to religion, as kids we were taught to question everything, including religion. My teachers hated it!! I went to sunday school twice, to see what it was all about, I never went back. I am a wicked stepmum and I have brought my girls up the way I was raised, to question, question, question. The eldest is, like me, a pagan and the youngest is an atheist, she hasn't found a belief system she likes!! I never forced them to do anything they didn't want to, that's not the way to win someones respect. I've allowed them the space to explore. I have seen religion forced upon children and it aint pretty. My neighbour has raised her children to be good, devout christians, but now the youngest wants to go on the pill and have sex with her boyfriend and my neighbour is having screaming matches with her, that the whole street can hear. She says her daughter is in league with the devil and should wait until she is married.Then she drags her to the church to pray for her immortal soul and for the devil to leave her body. Even her pastor/vicar has said she is over-reacting but my neighbour won't listen to him. It's terrible the way things are turning out for her and the family, and it's all down to her interpretation of her religion. Remember, though, you have been through a lot, but it is now over and you can start to live your life the way YOU want to. Take care and Bright Blessings.

Answer 2

It's sad you have been left scarred but that isn't the fault of the religion or your parents but of the bullies, including your sunday school teacher and the lies you were fed. You might as equally been fed lies at school or been bullied but are we to then say that children shouldn't be educated. Stop being so resentful, most of us have experiences as a child that leave us wishing things had been different, I know I did, felt my parents were to blame for all sorts. But now, speaking as a parent I can say that mine did what they thought was best for me just as I have done with mine. I can look back at the way mine were brought up and wish I had done it differently but I can't change the past. I wish I had taught mine some religious truths and morals, if I had I might not have had a dead son now. No matter how we are brought up we all have the capacity to change our direction in life, again I did just that, but you can't whilst you look back and blame everone or everything else for your feelings and actions. Try looking for the truth in the Bible instead of blaming others. You will find that no one goes to hell, that's one of those lies you were taught. Go to www.watchtower.org

Answer 3

Parents attempt to raise their children in the best way they know how. If they believe in God then that's going to be part of that process. A disbeliever raises their children to disbelieve. Your case is very sad. Firstly, where were the people in charge? It was their responsibility to ensure that you weren't bullied & they certainly shouldn't have told you that you were a dreadful sinner & undermining your confidence. What they have in effect done is turned you away from God which is a shame really.
Just because you've had a bad experience with these people, that doesn't mean that God doesn't exist. The adults you mentioned should be the ones who you direct your bad feelings towards, not God. If they had taught you the truths of the Bible then you would know that God loves you & doesn't condemn you. He's a loving God.

Answer 4

I don't. Actually i'm the opposite. If they come home talking of all the God stuff i do try to put them right. I don't want my children to grow up believing that the choices they make in life are wrong or bad. I wish only the best for them. Religion is not what i would consider the best. Except your mistakes and learn from them. They we're brought up to listen to their own minds and make decisions accordingly. As successful, well balanced adults, i think i did ok.

Answer 5

My experiences weren't quite as bad as yours but I had decided that religion wasn't for me by the time I was 8 or 9.

My mother, a convert to catholicism, sent me to a catholic school until I was 16 because "they were the best"-my father never expressed any views on religion at all and certainly didn't join us in our weekly trip to Mass.

When I had just started junior school-I was about 7 or 8 at the time, I can remember one of the teachers asking, every Monday morning, who had not been to church on the previous Sunday and if anybody was stupid enough to admit to this heinous offence, was pointied out to the rest of the class as likely candidates to be condemned to "the fires of everlasting Hell".

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Answer 6

There has been a lot of this well intentioned 'forcing' of views onto children. I'm sure we can at least agree that (most) parents have done this out of love, wanting only the truth and the best for their children. In the case of Christianity, I can only say that this must be born out of a poor understanding of the faith, and of who Jesus is and came to do. No matter what parents want, God can only be found through divine revelation, not through control or argument. The fact that this control has driven many away from church is very sad, as the person of Jesus is very attractive, drawing people to Him.
Both my parents were brought up in pretty strict Christian homes and neither of them continued in the faith in their adulthood. As a consequence, I wasn't raised in any faith system, not even christened. I met with the glorious person of Jesus one day about 6 years ago, and was able to make my own mind up. Sadly my mum was already dead by then so I don't know what she may have thought of that, but my dad has been ok.
My own children are 10 and 7. My eldest saw me go through the conversion and listened to what I had experienced, and made a decision to follow Jesus himself. He was baptised in the holy spirit aged 6, but my church wants children to be sure of their faith before they allow them to be baptised in water. My husband is a believer but he doesn't come to church and has not been baptised. I asked my eldest child if he thought I had forced my faith onto him and he said absolutely not. He has been taught at school and at home about different faiths and the reasons behind them, but again like me, he had the experience of meeting Jesus personally, so he has not left the faith, although he isn't big on reading the bible and would rather stay at home with dad than come to church! Both kids love the kids club at my church when they do come, but I never insist on their attending.
Church has changed a lot over the last years, from what I understand. God is doing a new thing. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, please be aware that it was a human failing and not God's.

Answer 7

If your parents really followed what the bible teaches, you would know this answer. They would have taught you what the bible has to say, and why they want you to follow it.
Your parents were definitely in the wrong church. A good church is one where the people help each other, they do not belittle each other. I know these churches are HARD to find. I have been to about 15 before I found one that teaches, and helps, instead of looking down on people and making them feel unworthy.
Also, your parents have not been able to answer this question for you, they may not know the answer, if they are not learning all that the bible teaches, that again shows they are in the wrong church.

Answer 8

Yeh, and why does Government force education on us. Funny, but is some ways true, why don't citizens have more say. I guess they''r just not organized for one and don't work together for another. Kind of like children raising children because their parent's didn't know either. I guess there's enough blame to go aroung but it doesn't solve anything unless you like the merry-go-round and the blame game. It kind of is less painful them thinking about our own role. But let's say we're not always pointing the figure, every generation is always learning better ways. Maybe forgiveness releases us, not anyone else and love bring us joy and not necessarily anyone else. Here's some new psychology and happening that might interest. Enjoy and get deprogramed. Can't do it. The program is against free speech. Check our my profile in a minute or two.

Answer 9

I 'have to' baptize my three year old son this September, or else he cannot attend a greek school. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in God and am a follower of Jesus, but this 'infant baptism' gets on my nerves. We are forcing a religion on somebody who can't think for himself. For all those Christians out there who disagree with me, at what age did Jesus get baptized? And he was the perfect example of a christian. Let them choose for themselves! God doesn't force people to do anything. People force people.

Answer 10

I was lucky enough to have parents that let me find my religion on my own. I was not forced to church or to follow any certain religious doctrine. I am 21 now and still looking for what I believe, but I am happy that I have the ability to choose, rather than be forced to believe something and never question it.