molested victim and marriage?

Question

k i am 17 yr old f, and i was molested 3 years ago by a teacher, i have gotten help but still am in a lot of pain that i sometimes dont know how to handle, i am terrfied of guys and wonder who is going to hurt me next (i dont think all guys are bad, i am just scared), even though i have time till i want to date for marriage I am terrified of tha fact of being touched or even being around guys. What should I do

Answer 1

First of all, I am so sorry for what you went through. I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been.

Second of all, I think you just have to give it time. If you feel you are unnaturally afraid of intimacy, you might continue counseling for a while longer, and concentrate on this specifically.

Otherwise, I think the more you are around people, especially guys, on a friendship and casual basis, the more comfortable you will become around them.

Try to stop worrying about your reaction for now ... you've been through quite a lot, and at a very young age. Your reactions are normal, and your concerns are valid. Concentrate more on focusing your attentions on casual friendships with people, and try to spend time with small groups that you think you can trust.

Answer 2

You need a lot more counselling, this kind of problem does not disappear overnight, the fact that you are now only 17 also makes it difficult for you to understand how you can overcome your fears, but you will, you will never forget but with more counselling you will be shown how to form a loving relationship, a matter of trust basically, so meantime, enjoy your friends and also confide in a close friend if you have one, never ever "bottle up" stuff like this.

Answer 3

I realize that it is painful to have gone through that, but it is definitely not an indication that all men are bad. Continue to get help. Therapy is about the only thing that can get you through this. If your present therapist is not helping you, find a new one.

By the way, I hope that you filed charges against him, and made him pay for what he did. I would hate to see him in a postion to molest other girls too!

Answer 4

i was in the very same situation except for me it was a family member, so trusting a man was very difficult for me. I did seek some help, even just being able to talk about it without being judged, helps. Just watch for these signs that typically happen to a victim
1. They loose complete trust for the opposite sex and go gay[which nothing wrong with gay just would not be healthy to go gay this way]
2. The person turns to multiple sexual partners

Answer 5

I understand what you are saying and I acccept you.
Now listen carefully to what I am saying.
You are recieveing help from outside, thats good, but what needs to be repaired and healed is inside.
Remember you can heal yourself as no one can.
So some suggestions which are tried and tested.
Involve yourself in activities.
Exersize a lot.
Drink lots of fluids.
Read good books.
Meditatedaily for twenty min.{ if you don kow how to meditate write to me}
Pray Daily.
This will definately help you.
All the best for self healing

Answer 6

I am glad you are getting help-continue with that you are going to need it-take the fear and give it to God simple as it sounds it works pretty good-then take up kick boxing learn to be assertive and aggressive as needed-do not let the molester continue to control you, your body and your soul- or they win as long as that continues- God bless you I can assure you it gets better, when you start feeling better about you-Aloha and may the Lord's grace be with you. Molested and lived through it-

Answer 7

my mom was molested when she was a little girl by her step father and she has learned to cope with it my dad and her have been married for 23 yrs now and they are so happy ive never seen them argue, i think what im trying to say is dont let one pervert distroy ur life and ur happiness not all men are like that you will find one that will make you happy and when that happens you wont think about your past as much and when you do it wont hurt all you will think about is your future and how happy you will be with him

Answer 8

1. Get over it.
2. Continue with therapy until you get over it.

That may sound heartless, but until that happens you're going to be like you are right now. You have to:

1. Accept what happened as one of those horrible things, but it's great that he didn't kill you.
2. Quit trying to place blame, bad things just happen sometimes.

Answer 9

u have to remove that fear from ur mind.All fingers of ur hand are not same. this is the fact

Answer 10

iam sorry to hear that but i think you should try dating someone.