does counseling help a abusive husband?

Question

does counseling help a abusive husband someone please tell me yes or no...
if you have been thur it..

my friend just married her boyfriend of a year and after 2 weeks(he like 26 and this is his second marrage) he lost controll and pushed her around and slapped her around. she is also having there kid. (6 months along) i spent a day in the hospital with her to make sure that the baby was ok. (it was)
i'm so woriied about her. she was away for 3 days and has gone back telling me that they have decided to go to counseling. i'm worried, i don't believe that a guy like this could be helped. someone please let me know if this has or hasn't worked for you.
i don't want her to end up on the news. being a nother missing woman.

Answer 1

It depends on how much the man really desires to change.
If he is just going through the motions, to get the wife back, then it is unlikely he will change.

If he has pushed and slapped her why isn't he in jail?


If he convinced her not to press charges and he will get help, he is lying and will not change. If that is the case she needso press charges and get to a safe place before he hurts or kills the unborn child.

Answer 2

She needs a friend like you. One with perspective who cares.

I have known one man who was able to change his behavior.
And, I was married to another man who was not able to change.

Counseling is a good place to start. They can coach her on how to set limits and boundries. And on stating what the consequences will be if he ever hurts her or the baby again.
#1 Escape
#2 Call Police
#3 Stay in a safe place - apart
#4 Do not keep it secret
#5 Hold him accountable for what he has threatened or done!!!!
#6 Make him face the counselor and address his problems
for a considerable length of time before even considering a reconciliation.
#7 If he EVER harms you or the baby again, He IS GONE.

She is going to need a friend like you to tell her the truth.
It's not a case of whether you "like him" or not, it's a case that you care about her and don't want to see her get hurt or killed.

Answer 3

Counseling Only Helps IF the Person Feels that They Have a Problem. This person was most likely raised in this Type of Environment and so this Beating the Wife thing is : Normal: in his Thought Patterns. My Honest Suggestion is for HER to Get OUT ASAP. Get a Protective Order and Call the Police if he Approaches Her Again!!!! I have worked in Psych. Triage and in Psychiatric Hospitals for Years and 99 out of 100 Abusers REPEAT the ABUSE and it just Gets Worse and Worse and Worse....... GET OUT NOW!!!

Answer 4

Therapy for abusive people typically don't work, because they don't see anything wrong in what they're doing.
It's really sad, but it's normal to them.

Occasionally you'll get a good therapist, or a good treatment and the abuser will walk out a different person.

Until you can be sure that this man is completely harmless, I wouldn't let your friend see him.
In fact, I wouldn't let him see her or the baby for a little bit after his "healing" if it happens.
If you feel he's better, I would recommend staying with her and her baby still, just to be sure.

I wish your friend the best of luck.

Answer 5

Check for more information on the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence website.
Counseling will help him if he applies himself. You need to be careful about interacting with him and the type of counseling he is getting.
Your friend needs to get help and counseling, too. There are several things she needs to do. The abuse can get worse after she has the baby.

Answer 6

I'm glad you're worried ! Abusers usually don't stop and had an abusive past. Did he go to jail ? In this state he automaticaly would. If it happens again I hope somebody calls the cops, if it's not to late. As you probably know this is usually a problem of co-dependancy, where the victim always has an excuse for the abuser....and a reason to not leave....If so, maybe you can explain it to her....
Not to say people can't change...but the odds aren't good here....hope she knows the dynamics of abuse, the warning signs and has a plan to get out....if it happens again

Answer 7

Thanks for being a caring friend. Your friend really shouldn't be waiting around to see if counseling can work. She should be getting her butt out of there, not just for herself but for her kid. She needs to get a restraining order and move in either with her parents, relatives, a friend or in shelter. It's sad because you see so many stories of women in similar situations as your friend, who end up dead. The baby could end up dead and it will be your friend's fault because she didn't get the hell out of there. The dude should get counseling while your friend and her baby are away from him. And she doesn't have to go to counseling with him. It's his problem, not hers.

Answer 8

It is possible, but it depends on the person. My husband has some issues, but he does not beat me up, but counseling did not help him.