My mother and I are indifferent to each other for reasons too lengthy and personal to relate here. I've tried getting closer before but she's always shoved me away. Lately she's been having serious health problems. I want to feel something for her but I don't feel anything and I know it hurts the rest of the family, especially my dad. How do I overcome my indifference?
2007-08-05 17:21:29 · 8 answers · asked by rebekkah hot as the sun 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
don't focus on the many things that brought you to this point. focus on more positive stuff.... though you're indifferent, you wouldn't want harm to come to her. though you're indifferent, you're a decent person and would help someone in need. though you're indifferent, there's a part of you that love her because she is your mother. i know it's hard, but try. and as the other posts says -- fake it for your family's sake.
2007-08-05 17:27:07 · answer #1 · answered by Christy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest two books. The first is "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L Hay.....you'll understand what your mother has been through to make her the way she is as well as why you are the way you are....then you won't blame her. The second is "Letting Go" by Guy Finlay. This one will teach you how to let go of whatever it is that makes you indifferent. Most of things in both of the books won't pertain to you, but you'll gain insight into other around you. The few things that do hit home will benefit you tremendously. You shouldn't feel indifferent towards her, ever. You should love and honor her inspite of things have been. It can't be based on her, its based on you.What she does or doesn't do shouldn't have anything at all to do with how you feel. Thats strictly up to you, but you haven't learned that....these books will help you, things will slump off your shoulders and you'll feel lighter.....before you know it, you'll look at your mom as an amazing creature of god...she'll see that look in your eyes and will melt. I promise you, if you read them, if you work them, it will happen.
2007-08-06 00:28:41 · answer #2 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that you will never have another Mother, and you should make peace with her especially because she is ill. You will not regret trying even if you do not succeed in smoothing all the rough spots in your relationship. At least know when it is all over that you tried to make things right.. I am sure that you are not perfect either, and forgive her for not being perfect too.
2007-08-10 15:11:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It helps to focus on some positive experiences you've shared together, her positive attributes, nice things she has done in the past, etc. If you've ever felt positive emotions for her, then try to remember how nice it was to have such feelings. Such tactics have helped me overcome indifference towards people in the past.
2007-08-06 00:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by fubco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have her at arms length for a reason and I don't see where her health issues are pertinent. You can still love your mother and even take care of her and still keep her at arms length to protect yourself. I personally wouldn't trust my mother as far as I could throw her.
2007-08-06 01:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how you feel be there for your mother. You have to remember everyone is hurting at this time. Give of yourself and you will be bless in your time of need.
2007-08-10 21:34:32 · answer #6 · answered by LDJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask God for forgiveness for your selfishness (indifference) and ask him to give you compassion and patience for your mom. If you're not religious, seek professional counseling. Good luck.
2007-08-10 16:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant....fake it!
2007-08-06 00:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by spongeflog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋