my 89 year old mother who had reconstructive knee sergery on may ninth ?

Question

has suddenly had a severe personality change five days ago,she was recouperating very well and used a cane to get around but then her personality changed and now she has the mind of a 7 year old,shes started to wet the bed,she refuses to get up off of a couch or a chair or the other way around getting her to sit down! shes very defiant ,her cane sits in the corner and shes gone back to her walker,my father who has his own troubles ( hes ninety three)has to bulldoze her to move . i have a brother whos a busy dentist and is married with a 5 month old daughter,hes put me in charge of taking care of my father when he had his brain surgeryand it was no picnic. now that mom is ailing i hope i wont be thrown into that hellish nightmare again.does it sound like my mother could be hospitalized for whatever.then that will mean that i will have my father to watch with an eagles eye and make sure he doesnt take off on me looking for my mother.

when mom was in the hospital last may i was with my father for over a month,and in that month--he took off twice,he drove me ape knocking on my bedroom door asking me wheres mother after hes returned from visiting her,and he was very depressed,now that this is happening i will have to go through this again! my brother refuses to get an aide to help out here.

Answer 1

When a person has a sudden change in behavior, understanding, speech, reasoning, or skills, etc.
it is NECESSARY to get that person seen by a Dr. that day.

Do not delay. One possibility is a stroke. Another possibility may be a medication problem - maybe the wrong one or the wrong amount.

After having your mother treated by the Dr.,
have a consultation with the local hospital social worker, or with your Health Department. They can arrange to make a --formal assessment of both your parents,
--determine what their individual and couple's needs are,
--look at your insurance / Medicare or other health coverage,
--inform you as to what services or facilities are available,
--as well as what services their coverage will pay for.
--And they will work with you to help determine what you are --or are not willing/able to reasonably do yourself/or other family.
--The social worker or nurse can initiate arrangements for help to either come into their home to assist, have meals delivered, or help you in finding suitable quality facilities where your parent(s) can receive the full domestic and medical care required.

--Now would be the time to get your brother involved in these decisions, as it can be a point of disagreement if he is not fully aware of their mental/physical conditions and needs.
It may also be necessary to have his help to get the parents to accept such outside help, or if need be, to agree to assist with the finances or other requirements.

Another source of encouragement and possible help can be your parent's church / or yours. Do keep the church office informed of their individual needs or changes in their health and location. Often they will receive visits and cards from old friends or the minister - it can be of real encouragement. As their last days draw near, the minister can be instrumental in helping them to prepare for death, or to deal with concerns about the survivor.

P.S. The social worker / public health nurse can help arrange for your dad to have an assessment for Dimentia.
The behaviors you describe sound similar. He may require 24 hr. care in a unit for such persons, where he cannot wander off.

I know these are hard things to face with people you love.

Answer 2

Your mother may have had a stroke.Unfortunately after a stroke it is very herd to determine one has taken place.You need an aide in the home as they need 24 hour guidance.Tell your brother an aide or else a nursing home,It's very hard taking care of ailing parents.I am an aide and have seen the turmoil family's go through.Your parents need guidance and care.Put your foot down and make your brother hire an aide or you will have no choice but place them in a home for their safety.I really feel for you and your parents.