Is my mom to strict or what?

Question

I'm 13 almost 14.
I'm not allowed to
Have a cell phone
Go to the movies with friends unless a parent is with me
Not allowed to go the mall with friends unless my mom is there
Not allowed to wear tank tops, not even over a bathing suit. (I have to wear a full shirt over it)
Not allowed to get a bigger bra than a size 32a. even if I'm a B!
Not allowed to have a bf until I'm 16. Not even one at school.
Does not like it when I guys check me out. Or when I think a guy is hot
I can't even go in a dressing room with out her coming in.
My aunt even asked why I don't have a cell phone her daugter is 11 and has one.
I went to the movies with out a parent with my 11 year old cousin and my mom found out and freaked. She might not let me over there again.
I'm not really that close even though she thinks we are close. I felt more comfertable talking to my aunt, but she live 2 hours away =( So, is my mom too strict? Or am I just over reacting? What should I do?

Extra-

Not allowed to have
Im is off limits
No myspace or anything like it
She reads personal email between me and my friends that I don't want her to hear.

For you that think I am immature. I am far from that. My 11 year old cousin whine if her little brother is in her room. I get up and go play cars, or watch bob the builder with him, just so I don't have to hear her yell!! I do as I'm told, clean my room, never take my anger out on my brother like my cousin does. I am very trustwortly, I was just wondering if my mom was strict or not.

Answer 1

I will try to explain a little to help you understand. In some of the things you mentioned, your mom is too strict and in some areas she is not. First, remember you are 13 (I know, going on 14)
Cell phone. While I understand your mom, I think you should be allowed to have one for safety purposes on certain occasions. We have three cell phones and my daughters take them with them when they go out so they can call if they need help or I can call them if I need something. Prepaid phones are good here because you learn to use your minutes wisely.
Movies with friends. It would depend on the friends. Mom needs to get to know the friends and make a judgement call on whether or not they are good for you or dragging you down the wrong path.
The mall. Same as movies but, I don't know why you would go to the mall unless it would be to meet boys and I'm sorry but, your too young for that type of stuff just yet. (You have to give a little here because parents want to protect their children from the perverts who hang out at the mall and I know this because I have put some of them in jail)
Tank tops. I would agree with your mom on this one. Modesty is important and my daughters (I have 5 of them 18, 16, 13, 9, and 8) will all wear a full shirt even with swimsuits)
Bra. As you grow, so should your bra. This isn't about style, it's about comfort and since nobody should be seeing your bra, you need to wear the appropriate size. Your mom should rethink this issue.
Boyfriend. I think you can guess my stand here. Actually, I don't have a problem with you liking guys but, I don't allow my daughters to date until they are 16 and no school dances until they are 14 unless it is done during school hours. I will say that it is unrealistic of your mother to think that she can dictate aspects in your life when she isn't there. If she teaches you the values of virtue and chastity then she should be able to expect you to live within those guidelines she has given.
Guys "checking you out". That won't change. I don't like it when guy's "check out" any of my daughters but, I can't stop it so I don't make a scene about it unless it is some pervert oogling my young daughters. As for you thinking a boy is "Hot" simply refrase that out of respect for your mother or explain to her your idea of "hot" and maybe she will understand. She has to give a little here because you are at the age of maturing and you will notice that I said maturing and not matured.
The dressing room thing. Here, you need to put your foot down a little (remember she is your mom). If you are old enough to dress yourself, she needs to stay out of the dressing room unless you ask her in to help with something. It is a privacy issue.
I don't think you are way out of line here but, the relationship you have with your mother should become one of give and take now. both of you need to put yourself in each other's shoes and see it from the other point of view. You need to reinforce in your mom that as you grow, you will apply the lessons she taught you and will try to live as she wants you to live. try to imagine yourself with a teenage daughter and act the way you would like her to act.

Answer 2

Your mom sounds pretty normal for a good mom who cares about her daughter. You don't need most of the stuff on this list, however if you need a larger cup size then you need a larger cup size. Ask her to take you to a shop that has specialists that can size you, like a bigger department store. And everyone needs privacy, she doesn't need to be in the dressing room with you. Ask her politely for privacy and come out and show her each outfit. Your mom sounds like she is having trouble dealing with the fact that you are now a young lady and not a child. Its not easy, and there is nothing out there to help a parent know what to do especially when its your first child. Talk to your aunt about some of these things, and ask her to help you talk to your mom. Or simply sit down and tell her that you understand its scary for her and you want to be a good daughter but there are a few things that you think you deserve to have, a bra that fits right and privacy in the dressing room. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, I would say that it seem your mom is pretty strict, but you are just 13, and she is trying to protect you. It also depends on where you live and what the crime rate is like and stuff.
I have 3 kids, and my youngest is 14, and he has a cell phone, (absolutely necessary for safety reasons, I am less worried, when I can contact him, and vise versa) goes to the mall, etc, but he is also 6'1, 180, and looka like a man!!
I think in the next few years your mom will loosen up a little. Don't be in a rush, and try to understand she is like she is because she loves and cares for you, she isn't trying to be mean.
Best wishes! Just give it a little more time.
Oh... I gotta say the tank top/bathing suit, bra and change room stuff is a little over the top....:S maybe you should ask her flat out why she doesn't trust YOU, maybe she was a hellion at your age and is scared you will repeat.

Answer 4

The only thing I think your mom is a little too strict on is not being able to wear tank tops or get a bra your right size. I also don't think she should be going into the dressing room with you. Other than that I don't think she's that strict. Just because your 11 year old cousin is allowed to go to movies alone or have a cell phone doesn't mean you should be allowed to. It's not a right, it's a privilege. In my opinion you are too young to have a cell phone and a boyfriend. You seem way too immature to handle the responsibility of a cell phone or a boyfriend. You are almost 14. Just deal with this stuff until you are 16 and maybe your mom will be a bit more lenient. While you are a CHILD living under your mothers roof then you have to abide by her rules.

Answer 5

Wow.
Yes, she is realllly strict. You're not immature at all for thinking that. Btw, I'm 14, so I know what you're going through. I can understand some of the things, like not liking when a guy thinks you're hot and kinda the cell phone thing, but everything else is pretty ridiculous. You need to sit your mom down and talk to her about how you feel. Try to be as nice and understanding as possible with her (i know it can be REALLY hard though), and just say "Listen, I realize that you're just trying to protect me and you have my best interest in mind with all of these rules, but I need to grow up some time. What happens when I move out and go to college? I won't have any of the street smarts or experience of anyone else my age and I won't fit in." I hope I helped :]]

Answer 6

First off- an 11 year old should NOT have a cell phone and should NOT be going places alone, in my opinion. Since you are almost 14, I think that as your parent I would start letting you go places for a limited time with a big group of friend I had met. Just to like a movie, or to the mall for a couple of hours. Since you would be unchaparoned, I would get a cell phone with limited options. But you shouldn't be at the point where you're unsupervised A LOT. But I think your cousin is too young to do that stuff- that is why kids get kidnapped and raped! Your Aunt isnt strict enough and your mom is TOO strict. So you need to negotiate a happy medium. You do need to wear a comfortable bra size! That is a MEDICAL issue and your health should be first. You should wear what size is comfortable-so that is ridiculous. I think a tank top (a reasonable one) would be okay over a bathing suit. But you do need to realize that a lot of clothes i see girls wear are way too revealing- and then they wonder why they get raped! Your mom is trying to do whats best and thats wonderful, but she can't shelter you forever, so she needs to realize if she doesn't let you grow up gradually you're going to go hog wild when you move away, and that's not what she wants. So again, ask to go out for a limited time with a group of friends. So she can call you and check in, ask to take her cell phone if she has one, and she can use the home phone to check in or another cell. But trust me- your aunt isn't careful enough so don't judge by that. Good luck! Have your mom read this so she sees other opinions!

Answer 7

ok im just gonna go down the list here:
cell phone:i agree with bc shes prolly afraid youll run the bill up like i did when i was 14...lol
mall:thats a lil strict..she should meet w/ the parent and if they seem ok i would let you go
tank tops: depends on how revealing
bra: thats just messed up u cant control that she needs to lighten up a little i doubt she wears an a
bf:i understand that, peer pressure is crazy now a days, i know kids that are 13 and have already lost there virginity. i get the whole no boyfriend til 16 part.
checkin u out: u cant help that, now if they were being perverted about it, your parents should tell them to back off your only 13.
dressing room:way to strict

so i agree w/ some things your saying but your mom is really only trying to protect you. you should sit down and talk w/ her and not do it in the 13 "im grown" tone we all gave at that age..lol. take your time w/ it though, dont throw it all out there at once just a little at a time so she doesnt get frustrated and just say no.

Answer 8

I think there might be more behind this...

You maybe need to talk to your Mom or your Aunt. I'm the first person to jump at teens who feel that their parents are too strict, but in this case, it seems so...

But with the bra and dressing room thing? I think maybe something happened to your Mom at an earlier age - and she is terrified and thinking that she is going to save you from that...

I would sit down with her - in a non-yelling, non-judgmental way, and honestly ask for her reasons behind all of the "conditions". The cell phone thing...she may not be able to afford that one...so don't bring that up right away.

I don't think she is trying to be "mean" - it really sounds as if she is trying to protect you from something that may have happened to her.

Answer 9

The bra thing is messed up. You CANNOT control how big your breasts get.

Dressing room - Honestly, I'd find that to be an invasion of my privacy.

She does sound a bit too strict to me.
She sounds like she doesn't trust you at all.
I think this is something you should talk to her about.

EDIT: If your aunt is your mom's sister or someone your mom is close to, you might wanna talk to her about this situation first. She might be able to tell you more on why certain things are made to be and also help you convince your mom to at least trust you a little more, especially on the dressing room thing.

Answer 10

Yah shes being realy strict the myspace and the IM thing shes just trying to protect you from weirdos onthe internet but IM you could invite friends and talk to them but myspace isnt that safe. I dont get the bra thing and when she goes with you to a dressing room it is kinda weird. hey my mom doesnt let me sleepover at my friends house.