If the Bible was made into an epic movie, which R&S regular would be which biblical character(good or bad)?

Question

This question has been brought to you courtesy of Jack, who is trying to liven up a dull Sunday night

Answer 1

Well, since you asked, how about Uncle Wayne as Solomon, [who else for the wisest man who ever lived? Ramjet as Deborah, the only woman to lead Israel,[which made her head of the army, [is that close enough to a warrior?] and then Dr.G as Esther, who knew when to whisper in the King's ear, Quella as Rebekah, who captured Isaac's heart. Now we are just casting, right? So, Cat as Rahab, [sure Rahab had a wild side, but she was brave when it came to doing right,] Bonzai is a definite for Boaz, who was so full of love to take on Ruth's mother-in-law as his own mother. I don't really know Icy Gespacho, but he can be Jonathon, who was devoted to his friend, who just happened to be David, a man after God's own heart. Sure, David loved the ladies, but the man was transparent before God. I think Jack B. is the man for that part. Where is Cheney? He can have the part of Herod, but only if he will dance [ like in Jesus Christ Superstar.] Dave777 is a must for Peter, who was a bit of a loose cannon before the day of Pentecost. When do we start? Hey, I know who you guys are, but who am I?
Edit: You said EPIC, right? So we are talking big budget? Man, I got to get busy.

Answer 2

Oh I think I'd cast you as Doubting Thomas, Jack. And Enki as the Good Samaritan, and me as Barak (because I'm supposedly descended from him) or Noah because I've always loved boats and learned to put up with less than ideal crews. And as for the rest, I'd have to run personal auditions, and be sure nobody would take offense at my casting proposals - there are so many characters not to like in the Bible. Solomon wasn't wise so much as shrewd, for instance - he was opportunistic and cavalier in his judgement over the disputed baby, seduced Sheba into his bed by a ruse, sent his favorite son to an expected death in war because he feared a Palace coup... and so it goes on for most of them. Although most of the women are OK as usual. And the book could certainly feed some great epic satire.

Answer 3

Well,someone needs to be Boaz...Probably Jack will steal the role from me..and I will get stuck being Noah all alone on the ship,with a bunch of critters running around.. And I have to wait another 50 years for Beano...shheshh I give up.. LOL

Answer 4

Rachel would be Jezebel.

I want to be Ruth. Can I please be Ruth?

Bonsai Bobby could be Moses.

Mr. Ed could be John the Baptist

And if you grow your hair a bit, you could be Samson. OOH, in that case, can I be Delilah, even though she's really bad?

No, I really wanna be Ruth.

What about Jesus? No one has suggested a Jesus. (maybe Deke? - just a suggestion, I think that would be wicked cool, which is also why it is possibly not the best idea I've had, but I think without the glasses, Deke could look the part).

Answer 5

I got dibs on Abraham. - The History channel took all the mystery out of his Military successes. - He was a brilliant strategist. --


edit: I see Bonsai Bobby grabbed for Boaz. Wow if I were only younger. --- You may think that the Song of Solomon is the sexiest Book in the Bible --- But as Bobby probably knows Ruth and Boaz -- wow! and double wow!

Answer 6

Hmmm. I suppose I'd better play Ruth. (It will make those 50 years go by quicker for bonsai boaz-lol).
Eagle Woman , would you like the role of Naomi? You'd make a wonderful mother-in-law! And since you've had your eye on bonsai for a son-in-law, this way you kind of would.

Answer 7

I suppose y'all would make me be Simon of Cyrene 'cause I'm black, right?

To be real, I want to be King Solomon in the Song of Songs. That man was a smooth operator during crunch time, like myself. Dude was the original Barry White.

Answer 8

OOOOO

I pick RunJamesRun as Pilot...(you've interupted my happy hour for WHAT??)
also - we have to have Eagle Woman as Mary Magdeline....(you guys can sit here on your @sses and pout... I'M going to meet the Messiah!)
and of course
beano would play baby Jesus .... (mew?)


haHAAA!

blessings :)

I was going to say I'll be Job's 2nd wife, but Quella beat me to it.... so she can be my momma..

Or I could play Michael the arch angel...I know he's portrayed as masculine, but I've always seen myself as a warrior....


EDIT:
geez Jack... Eagle Woman has us all pegged pretty good.... heehee

Answer 9

Can I be the AS$?


The one from the Palm Sunday story?

Answer 10

I call Shadrach.
Dang Kalebow...you learn something new every night. I had read most of that chapter before, but I must have missed that one verse. Very interesting.