All my life, my parents have both been very negative about EVERYTHING! As a result, I'm very negative and bitter (I think thats why i dont have that many friends). I just want to know, how can I be more optimistic about things? It's hard to be more happy around them because they yell at me all the time. I've tried telling them how I felt, but they get defensive and yell at me more! I'm 14 years old, and for a year, I've been very depressed. Please, what do i do? I really need someone's help.
2007-08-05 16:24:29 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
It's really hard to be 14 yo under almost any circumstance but having parents who are negative and yelling at you must be really terrible. You must be very smart to recognize their negativity; many kids would just think, "Oh, this is the way it is - life is just negative." But you know there is another way to be. First of all, find someone that you can talk to - a trusted teacher or maybe an aunt, older sister, or maybe a friend's mom, if there's someone you know well. And no one really needs to fix anything for you...you need a good listerner. If it's more serious than that, you might need something more drastic.
I don't know what state you live in but in some states, a 14yo has the right to sign her/himself into a psych hospital without parents' permission. Your parents would be notified but they couldn't just take you out. I'm sure the staff would require some type of family counseling and if your parents resisted the counseling, staff would definitely be suspicious that there was some type of at least verbal abuse going on. It really sounds like your parents are unhappy too; happy parents are not yelling at their children all the time. So maybe everyone could be helped at once.
Ultimately, though, no one can "make" you negative and bitter. You have complete control over how to react to their negativity and you're kind of one step ahead by recognizing that what they're doing is wrong. If they sort of set you up for arguments, don't take the bait. Find things that you enjoy; things that you value and will help you meet your goals in life. A book you might want to check out is "The 7 Habits of Successful Teens" (or something like that); the author is Sean Covey. One of my sons has the book and the information in it is simple to understand and psychologically very healthy. (Keep in mind that 18 yo is not that far away!)
Peace, be well.
2007-08-05 17:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by lotus4yoga 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother was the same way with me. I am a mature women now and it still has an effect on my outlook on life. You need to talk to a family member to help you. Maybe you have an aunt, uncle, or cousin that you can discuss this problem.
The fact that you are aware of it at such a young age is very mature of you. You are young enough to nip it in the bud now. I did not realize that I was a pessimist till my 20's.
The only thing I can advise you, since you are aware of it. Whenever you start thinking, or judging things negatively you should try to look at the positive side of the issue.
Bless you, and good luck your a sensitive caring person.
2007-08-05 23:46:29 · answer #2 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom is that way and I find myself struggling with not being like her too. It really takes being very aware of what you are thinking and then saying---all the time.
I suggest you discuss how they treat you with a counselor at school. All that yelling is verbal abuse and it has put you in a state of depression. They need to get counseling to change their ways.
Hang in there and make the first move and tell someone, then things will change. I am sorry you are going through this now, but just keep out of their way as much as possible and concentrate on the things you enjoy.
2007-08-05 23:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i used to be just like that. and then one day i just opened me eyes to all the good things in life. i saw the beauty of life, and started painting, sculpting, drawing, taking photography, etc. i am almost 14 years old, and i have become so happy over the last year, all my friends call me sunshine. but alittle less than a year ago, i was depressed. no explanation why. i had only one friend, my best friend for life. she was in the same situation as me, so we helped each other. now i am positively optimist and very laid back i see only the positive sides of things and i am a real pleasure to be with!
2007-08-05 23:35:54 · answer #4 · answered by sarah 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do you participate in any after school activities or are involved in church, temple, mosque activities? (In fact if you practice a religion the minister, rabbi, or - sorry I don't know that one) - would be a great source to go to in order just to talk. Find a way to make new positive relationships and you too will blossom! You sound like a really neat and kind 14 year old! You sound positive to me!
2007-08-05 23:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every time you have a pessimistic thought, counter it with an optimistic one.
2007-08-06 07:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by Ari 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same thing that happens to me a lot to . you should take a minute to think wat your doin or wats happened through you usually find that it isnt as bad as you thought it was and then you think of ways to make it a good thing or just make a joke out of it so that you make everyone laugh and people will think you not as negative.
2007-08-05 23:35:08 · answer #7 · answered by misstiffany 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nobody can be Happy for themselves but themselves. As Budda would say. If want to create happiness, be compassionate, if you want to be happy be compassionate.
2007-08-05 23:33:35 · answer #8 · answered by sweetpeasmum 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to have a positive outlook in your life. if you don't have any friends, try to consult your family relatives. maybe they can help you.
2007-08-05 23:30:29 · answer #9 · answered by hey,hey 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋