Why can't I just LIKE a guy for once?

Question

Please help me be functional! Here's the situation, in a nutshell- I can't like a guy without it becoming an obsession. Then, I can't talk to him anymore, or be around him without blushing, because I like him too much. Consequently, I never push past the initial phase of, "Oh, you're in my class. How nice." [smile and turn away] So then my subconscious, craving interaction, sets up an amusing little series of fantasies and creates a history and personality for the person in question. I never get near enough to find out if I've hit anywhere near the mark, so I continue to obsess because, of course, my imagination has only let one or two VERY minor faults slip into his character. I daydream that some day he'll make the first move and I'll find out he liked me all along. When it doesn't happen, I get depressed. Then I don't want to talk to him, because I'm mad that he didn't do anything about a crush he probably knew nothing about and then I blame myself (rightly so) and try to move on.

hi what is up

Forget the "hi what is up" it was a test for the editing. Anyway, so I try to forget him and I can't because I've built up the obsession already. So I ALWAYS end up miserable. Even though I know all this, I can't stop it happening. It's a habit now. It just makes it worse to think that I'm addicted to the drama of it all, because that contradicts my feelings about the boy in question, which are very strong. And I don't even know if they would be that way if I hadn't automatically encouraged them in the first place. So I question whether I could ever fall in love, without all this neurotic babble and problems.

This has a recent specific example. My friend's boyfriend. Yes, it's a bad idea. Yes, I know that I have a tendency to want what I can't have. I can't help it. It's not as bad as some others because I can't stare while my friend is around, but I feel pathetic again. And just like all the other times, I'm alone in my plight. He probably has no idea.

Thanks, Princess Zelda. :)

Answer 1

Pretend every guy is your brother. Or a cousin. Then, if you find someone really special you can disown them from your fictional family and make a move. But everyone else will be a relative and you'll be comfortable.

Answer 2

I'm glad I'm not the only one in the world who is like that! lol. i've moved on past the obssession stage, just to the "he's hott and i'll just accept whatever he gives me" stage, meaning, even if it's a simple hi, I'll appreciate it. this year, i'll have a lot more interactions with this one specific person, i'm hoping, and maybe i can work up the nerve to make something work. Ya never know until you try!