How can I be more social..and allowed out much more?

Question

All my life..my childhood I have been cooped up indoors..when I was little I watched other kids play from my window..I am not even able to have a private phone conversation..I told my guardian to please let me out so many times. Even if I get straight A's they still don't let me go to the mall at night or talk to a guy over the phone even if we are just friend. And I get scolded for having so many black friend..I grew up with black people what do you expect..I have only been to a friend's house about five times this whole summer..last school year I seldom hung out with friends afterschool..I don't know how to socialize anymore..I used to be hyper and able to cheer people up and I love making friends and making people happy. My social workers advised my guardians to let me out but they don't listen and they lie to him I have been so depressed most of my childhood and I don't know how I will make friends when I am adult..my social life is over the internet only because im not allowed out

Answer 1

Sometimes it can be hard for parents / guardians to know how to trust. They are so very afraid that they will lose control and be held responsible - or that you may be terribly harmed.

This is truly an unfortunate situation.
You do have the right to request of your social workers to be placed in a different home with different guardians.

It may help your present and future relationships if you NEVER LIE. When you lie it only fuels their lack of trust.

As part of a solution,
consider going to a church that has an adult supervised youth group. Your guardians will likely want to meet the adult in charge. But this can give you the opportunity to do healthy fun things as a part of a group. Safe because it's supervised. Clean fun because it's church. If a ride is a problem, there are usually adults or friends parents who are willing to drive you.

Answer 2

I can see some similarities of my growing up in 1960s with yours in 2000s. I was a bit lucky that being a boy I could take a bit of 'risk' to venture out and explore world beyond school, home and 1 hour out to park in the afternoon time.

I used to get a lot of scolding and also physical punishment meted out by my parents for being 'disobedient' and go for swimming, tree and small hill climbing, hunting of birds and lizards in the jungle with our slingshots, eating shrub sprouts and such unknown fruits as our little experimentation of their tastes and what not.

I even didn't go to class one day and spent the time near to a busy international airport observing the big planes' take-offs and landings. All these made my life a bit adventurous and I went to many countries in adult life. This is in compare to two of my elder siblings (bros) who were very obedient and lead their childhood almost as per the book (lol).

I'm not suggesting that I did the right thing and bros weren't upto the mark, but I'm of the opinion that sometimes our parents were too rigid for our welfare's sake that they would trample our little desires and hopes. Now-a-days new generations are a bit lucky that parents are becoming more aware of the negative affects such restrictions would bring on children and they are trying to be adapting scientific approach while dealing with their kids.

I do hope and pray that your parents are enlightened (I’m sure they are) and also they would sit with you to find out what can be reasonably allowed so that your mental growth doesn't hamper.

Wish you all the luck in your dealing with parents and earning some concessions, thereby your having all the nice things the friends and society has to offer you in your very crucial time.

Answer 3

Will your guardian let you join a sport team or martial arts? That may help. You can tell him/her that you just want to have an extracurricular for your college app, but you can really be socializing!
Good Luck,
-Ari

Answer 4

Hang in there dont run away finish school ?
Good things happen to peaple who wait !!
You have your hole life ahead of you to do what you want?