A friend of my brother's and my boyfriend died two days ago tragically in a car accident. He was 21. I never knew the friend though I felt bad because he meant a lot to them, and I heard many stories about him, he was a humerous young man. They both wish to attend the wake and want me to come for support, but I never actually knew the man who died. I feel wrong going to the wake since I didn't know him and everyone there will, should I go and stay somewhere else like the back, or should I just not go at all and let them go by themselves?
2007-08-05 14:30:00 · 12 answers · asked by marm212 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It is always OK to pay your respects, and to support your brother and boyfriend. Ask your brother or boyfriend, in advance, to introduce you in the reception line to the chief mourners, probably the parents, maybe brothers and sisters. Keep it simple, this is my girlfriend, Sally. No explanation of why you are there is necessary. And you should say whatever they say right back. Hi, hello, I am so sorry.
Try your best to find something appropriate to wear. A dark colored dress would be nice, black if you have somehing or can get something modest.
So sorry for your brother and boyfriend's loss.
2007-08-05 15:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother and boyfriend need you as moral support. They need you, you should go.
Once you get there, follow your friends. If you meet them, give your condoleances to the family members. Do not pay your respects to the deceased, faking mourning would be VERY bad. Just step away from the coffing while they do.
After that, just follow them around and follow the procedure (Go where you're told to go, say the prayers when asked).
Then follow the normal rules of a funeral: stay quiet, no jokes, wear black, go talk in the back or the side-room, etc.
2007-08-05 14:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We actually just had a wake and a funeral for my father in law so this question hits close to home. I believe that you should go to the wake to support the family of the deceased. There were a lot of people at my father in laws wake that did not know him but knew the other members of our family. As my husband put it to me when I asked why people from his work that had never met his dad came to the wake, he said, they came to support me in my difficult time. I believe that the family would love to have you there to pay your respects. I am sorry that you and everyone else are going through this.
2007-08-05 14:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by Elizabeth E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should go to support the people that you love who are alive. Have some respect for the dead. I lost my father at the age of 27. I miss him so much and I was so happy that my friends came to the funeral even though they didn't know my dad they knew me and knew how much i loved him.
I guess you are just too young to understand what it is like to lose someone you love. Which is not a bad thing. Experience my dear makes you wise.
2007-08-05 14:35:23 · answer #4 · answered by JillardG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go because it's important to your brother and boyfriend. It doesn't matter that you never knew the deceased. Your support is all that is important and your respect for those you know that cared so much for the deceased. Be respectful and undertstanding and go to the funeral. Be there for the people you love not for the person you didn't know. That is what funerals are about.
2007-08-05 14:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funeral etiquette is surely easy once you're a customer. in certainty, what is going to happen is, as quickly as you happen, you would be cautioned the place to take a seat and what to do (particularly merely take a seat there), and something is merely person-friendly experience. you isn't invited to the burial until you're family contributors or almost family contributors, so do no longer difficulty approximately that. via the way, while you're no longer on the brink of the family contributors, do no longer deliver flowers. they do no longer decide to could placed all and sundry's flowers on exhibit to be wonderful and have the church appear as if a florist's shop. i assume that a card would be all proper, despite if it is not in all likelihood mandatory until you deliver one yet another enjoying cards each and all of the time for different activities.
2016-12-15 06:45:09 · answer #6 · answered by kreitman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been to funerals where I have never met the person that passed, but I go for the support of people that I do know and that knew him. It brings you closer to the people that did know him, they tell stories about how they loved this person, and you get an insight into that person.
2007-08-05 14:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Glinda W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wakes are held for two reasons. First, to pay respects to the deceased and second, to support the bereaved. Of course you should go, if only to support your brother and boyfriend.
2007-08-05 15:04:02 · answer #8 · answered by xanjo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go as a show of support to your brother and boyfriend.
2007-08-05 16:53:41 · answer #9 · answered by Oshkosh Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's ok to go...they want you there for support...and funerals really are mostly for the people that are mourning anyway...if they want you there I think it will be ok, just be respectful and all that.
2007-08-05 14:34:13 · answer #10 · answered by dianah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋