Moms, do you have a Mantra?

Question

We all know how crazy it can be to be a mom!

I wish I had a Mantra... something to say to myself when I'm having a hard time.

For instance.... "it's just a phase, its just a phase, its just a phase...."

I also have the serenity prayer hanging on my wall.... im not religious but it helps me remember to calm down when i get frustrated.

how do YOU keep YOUR cool in a chaotic, child-filled environment?

my son is a very active 3 1/2 and my daughter is 14 months... right now is a particularly difficult time because im nursing my broken ankle!

getting ready to pull my hair out!

even on an ordinary day, when im in the bathroom with my 3 yr old at wal mart and he has to take off his shoes, pants and underwear to poop while my milk sits in the cart outside the bathroom.... i feel like i need a therapist in my head!!!

phrases! i want phrases!

i like "this too shall pass" also, ive told myself that before.

Answer 1

I have been a mom for 28 years. My kids are now 28, 25, 22, and 10. Only my oldest, who is married and has a 3 month old son of her own, doesn't currently live in our home. I also have been a child care provider in my home for 20 years and have an early elementary teaching degree. So, dealing with children has been a core part of my life for a long time. While being a mom is the most wonderful thing and I truly love my job, there are days when the frustration level just rises so high I question what I am doing with my life. There are several "sayings" that have helped me over the years. First, I remind myself, "This, too, shall pass." This "mantra" has helped me through long sleep-less nights filled with newborns frequent waking, feverish toddlers sick with ear infections and strep throat, kids shrieking in fear with night terrors (our youngest had these for 4 years) and nightmares, waiting for teen drivers to come home by curfew and adult children just to come home. It has also helped me through potty training, giving up pacifiers, separation anxiety, sassy mouths, eating only macaroni and cheese for months, and questionable friendships. A second thing that has helped me immensley is to ask myself before I speak or act "In the grand scheme of life, does this really matter?" This helps me to determine how important an issue is with my kids (and also works on guiding my relationship with my husband - we just celebrated 30 years of marriage). For example, when my kids would fight, I would let them work it out as much as possible by themselves unless name-calling or physical fighting became involved. I think it is helpful to their relationship to work things out without parental involvement, but name-calling and physical fighting is not acceptable. Both have long-ranging hurts difficult to overcome. All 3 of my adult children are now really close and good friends despite many years of intense fighting and sibling rivalry. Or, if a 3 year old wants to wear striped sweat pants with her bathing suit top, a pair of dress-up shoes and have her hair done up in multiple pony tails, will this affect the person she grows up to be? Not likely. We have a cute picture and she grew up to be quite well-dressed and is working on a cosmetology license! My mother, who taught kindergarten and first grade for 30 years, gave me this advice when I was going to school to get my education degree. She said to never end a directive with a question. This legitametly opens the issue up for discussion. For example, don't say, "Honey, let's pick up your toys now, OK?". This opens it up for your "honey" to say, "NO!". Instead, always say, "David, it is time to pick up your toys now." Then, follow through immediately. This advice has served me well professionally and as a mom. Also, "Say what you mean and mean what you say." helps keep control and eases the frustrations that sometimes are our own creation.

Answer 2

ok,if youre on one of those days when you feel like wanting to release your funny side when things seems to be chaotic at home try this:"running around & chasing kids will soon be over in a wink" in a sing song tune,be it in a whisper or just inside your head (the snooping neighbor might think youre going crazy if you say it out loud,ha ha!) or,just try to stay positive even if youre about to let off steam at times(happens to me ALL the time; i am a mom of a 7 year-old son with behavoural problems,an 18 month old son whos starting on his terrible 2's & i just gave birth a month ago to a very demanding,always hungry baby girl so imagine the chaos i had to deal with everyday on my own while the husband is at work).it may also help to try one of the mantras suggested by the other mums here & find the one that works best for you or,if you can & if ever youll find time do some easy crafts or a hobby that you can insert in between rest time (when the kids are asleep or busy doing something else & youre just relaxing) & some housework,something that you can just drop easily when he kids are up & about again & probably get back to as soon as you are able.it may give you a short break & freshen up your weary body & mind.it can also help you calm down & think more positively.(right now the only healhy hobby i can engage with whilst getting stuck to the house & my kids was participating here at yahoo! answers)

Answer 3

I also like "This too shall pass" and "Everything is a phase"

I also remind myself that they are only little for so long and I am going to miss my baby when he is all grown up. It goes fast so I try to slow down and look at the big picture.

Try and look for the humor in a situation. If I'm stressed and yelling it only adds to the chaos, but if I can keep my cool and act like an "adult" it helps diffuse a lot of problems.

This is a hard job! Hang in there!

Answer 4

Some faves, "Just don't look" especially when there is mess and chaos being wreaked.
Also "it's a growth spurt" for unexplained sleep patterns, eating
" If it breaks chuck it out, if it's soiled there's bathtime"
mumble really obscene words under your breath that you know they can't hear but smile crazily and say "Mummy needs time out now, go play outside"
" as soon as the screaming stops I'll go in"
"toddlers are a storm in a teacup with very short memories"

Answer 5

You just want phrases? It sound like you need a little more than phrases. Consistent discipline would be a start. And I am sorry about your ankle. I don't have a phrase, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and deal with the situations as they arise. Good luck, they only grow older, think about it, if you can't control them when they are young....??

Answer 6

listen here Tibetan mantras A mantra is therefore an instrument of the mind, a powerful sound or vibration that you can use to enter a deep state of meditation.

Answer 7

*Stop what you are doing and take several deep breaths. Try to calm down.
*Put things in perspective, no matter how bad your situation is, it will get better.
*Take time for yourself, do something that makes you feel good, like listening to relaxing music.
*Don't be afraid to ask for help.
*Try writing in a journal about your feelings, sometimes venting helps.
*Don't procrastinate, break assignments up into smaller tasks, make a schedule, and stick to it. Know your priorities.
*Get a stress ball.
*RELAX!!! Take life one day at a time.
*If something is really getting to you, take a break, and work on something else.

Answer 8

I love the other phrases, which I will start repeating soon!! I always say, "What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger." As a single-mom that went through a hellacious divorce, I figure if I can survive that and raising a child alone, I can make it through anything!! Stay strong!

Answer 9

I try to picture myself as Mary Poppins for behavioral issues...

"Warm, but firm"

and when I'm about to lose it I think..wow..in 3 years, 5 years, 10 years..what ever number fits...I will be wishing that I could have just 5 minutes back with my baby doing just this. Children grow so fast...~

Answer 10

Anytime my son (especially my older one) starts whining and crying about something, I look him in the eye and say over and over again (CALMLY), "Stop crying, look at me. Stop crying, look at me." It actually works.