ok here's the deal, i know it sounds like a big gap but im 18 (turned 18 in march) and the guy i like is 40... he's NOT married, im not like that i wont be with someone who is already taken, but yeah i really like him and he likes me to... we have know each other for over 2 years now and i really care about him, he is always telling me how sweet and caring i am, and that im the best person he has ever known... the thing is all my friends think its weird and my family is VERY unhappy about it :-( should we try to make it work or should i listen to everyone else? after all dont people always say "age is just a state of mind..." ?
2007-08-05 13:55:36 · 32 answers · asked by becky89_2007 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh yeha and no im not looking for a father figure.... i really care about him and we have alot in common, we can talk about anything and everthing, we spend about 3 or 4 hours a day on the phone and see each other every weekend
2007-08-05 13:56:07 · update #1
At age 18, a 22-year difference is a BIG deal. Why can't he find a girl closer to his age? Date other people until you're 25, and if you're both still interested then, it won't be quite as creepy.
2007-08-05 14:00:59 · answer #1 · answered by gelfling 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This guy is over half your age. You just turned 18. Sounds like he's been waiting in the wings for you to turn legal. How much can you really have in common with someone who has lived life alot, lot, lot, lot, longer then you. He has experience in relationships, you might have a little, but not enough to look at this thru clear eyes. He might be a symbol of security, since you are not looking for a father figure. I do not blame your family for being upset. I have a 20 year old daughter and would be demanding that she not consider this "mature" man to have anything with my "barely an adult" daughter. If the table were turned and it was his daughter and some 40 year old man making moves, he would be pissed off as well. Don't let him tell you that wouldn't bother him, then you can count him as a liar too.
Sorry to be a bit emotional about this, but it is wrong.
2007-08-05 14:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by DONNA W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that you're asking others' advice on this suggest that you have doubts and this in itself is a reason to end it. Before you met him did you image yourself being with a 40 year old who spends 3-4 hours a day on the phone to someone who is over 20 years younger than him? Age is not just a state of mind it's the sum of many experiences, how much do you know about this man? Has he been married in the past? Does he have kids or a criminal record? Have you asked these questions and can you trust his answers? If you (and him) are really that mature and in love I wish you every happiness, otherwise please be safe.
2007-08-05 14:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you both are 18 or older then age doesn't matter. Just as long as you both are happy and love each other. Just follow your heart and do what you think is right. Your friends and family may be unhappy about it but you are 18 and old enough to make you own decisions. If they are unhappy then they are just going to have to get over and accept it. Because they are not the ones that is dating him. If you both are happy together then that is all that counts. My fiancee and I are 12 years apart. He is 35 going on 36 and I am 24 and we are very happy in love.
2007-08-05 14:26:25 · answer #4 · answered by sweetheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Way too much of an age gap at this point in your life. I'm sure you do have a great time together and things to talk about, but at only 18 there's so much more for you to experience and grow - he's already there and has been through it all so of course he's model boyfriend material to you now. Age may be a state of mind, but experience isn't and at this time in your life you need to be growing and experiencing things people your age do.
2007-08-05 14:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by needstoknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends, if he is always asking for sex, or the like, then no. Maybe if he is someone you love to talk to cant get out of your head and feel sorta lost with out, but don't completely rely on him.
Do this, make it a loose committed relationship-or rather talk to him about it. Work from there, see how the relationship develops. This isn't something that should be seen as wrong or right, love is always right no matter the age, race, and so forth.
2007-08-05 14:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by shelbywo22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, let me tell you what I would do..I wouldn't care what anyone else says..your a grown @ss woman, with a curiousity of a child. I would run with it ! go with the flow, just to see how things go..maybe get intimate with him..(but thats your decision to make) have some fun ..but I know what I'm telling you ..You will become bored with this man after a while..there is to much of a age gap..i'd give it about 6mons. a year max..your going to start noticing changes in him ,he's not going to be able to keep up with you anymore...And you will be wanting a young guy who's rock hard , not shrivled up..
2007-08-05 14:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by I <3 Joe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you continue seeing this guy and get married, when you turn 40 yrs old, he will be 60, he will be an old fart with bad breath, he will have wrinkled skin and erection problems. Your sex life will be devastated. Instead of thinking of buying a new car or house you will be thinking about buying a wheel chair for him.
Think twice and look someone your age...
2007-08-07 06:56:41 · answer #8 · answered by goodman6079 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he's not too old for you but he will be for your kids if you choose to have them in the future. Also you have to ask yourself why he cant be with women of his own age. Question his need for a younger woman, do you want to be responsible for making him feel younger and what about your sex life? Do you want to settle into a comfortable, sedetary existence when he gets tired and just wants to roll over and sleep? For gods sake girl have fun, enjoy your life, go nuts - you're over young once!
2007-08-05 14:07:00 · answer #9 · answered by Pixie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...twenty-two years difference is quite a stretch. Lovey, if you're into him, don't fret about what anyone is going to say. Go for it. Age is just a number. I see nothing wrong with that. It's obvious that you both connect and he's willing to take care of you. Go for it and make it work!!!
What's wrong with you people? She wants this, it is her choice!! I think people have a right to choose and choose they may what they feel suits them. I've heard of women who are 48 years old dating men that are 24 years old. This is even a bigger stretch (24 years). They are in deeply in love, go out together and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. Why shouldn't she if she wants this. Leave her alone!!!
2007-08-05 13:59:37 · answer #10 · answered by Leona 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋