the question was ... is it right or wrong that the parents of the groom are omitted from their wedding invitation just because they can not pay for it. what i am about is that our names are not on the invitation itself............not that we are not invited. prev question listed under scotto
2007-08-05 12:55:32 · 25 answers · asked by SCOTTYO 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, I understood it correctly and answered it. The answer is YES, it is correct, that only the "hosts" of the wedding be listed. That is, those who are paying. As your wife and you are not paying for this wedding, you technically would NOT be listed as among the HOSTS. As I remember, you had also contributed money in the past toward a wedding for your son, which he had frittered away - one could make the case that THAT was your contribution - however, I'm NOT sure that it would make much of a difference, as these people seems to all be sticking to their guns. I'm sorry - they seem pretty petty. Hopefully, they will include you and your wife in other ways.
2007-08-05 14:13:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been invited to probably 30 weddings and of those only about 2 had the groom's parents names on the invitation. It is not customary. I have only seen it when the groom's parents were paying for the majority of the wedding. A traditional invite would say:
Mr. & Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Jane Marie
to
Mr. Joe Wilson
on such and such a date.
An invitation is sent out by the people throwing or hosting the party. If you aren't paying for it then it's not really fair to the bride's parents that your name be on the invite.
2007-08-05 22:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must say in the UK I have never seen an invite with the groom's parents name on it, I have only ever seen invites from the person who has paid for the event rather than having everyone's name on it. My fiance and I are paying for our own wedding, we did not put either set of parents on it, as we are the hosts of the event only our names are on it inviting our guests. Just goes to show they do things differently all over the world.
2007-08-06 06:18:27 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We got married this past May, my father paid for our wedding, and so we only listed him and his wifes name on the invitation. ´
My husband´s family had no objection, and their was no issue about the invitation itself, nor did I ever think I was being rude in only putting my parent´s name on their!
Please, if this happened to you, and you think it´s rude your names were not on the invite, know that traditionally, the people hosting the party is included on the invitation.
Are you hosting the rehearsal dinner? If so, ask the bride and groom to send out invitations, listing your names as the host/hostess, and I´m sure you won´t get any objections, nor will the parent of the bride feel slighted that they aren´t listed.
2007-08-06 06:05:37 · answer #4 · answered by Learning is fun! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i did understand and again, no offense was meant to you. it is not wrong that your names were omitted. i promise! i would bet the brides family loves you to pieces. you are so nice to want to make sure the right thing has been done, and i assure you, it has and everything is just fine with the invitations. have a wonderful time and dont forget to memorize a wonderful toast that you will give to them at the reception!!!!
luv to answer has it right, it is just the brides parents who are usually on the wedding invite. people who are saying it is rude are perhaps not aware that the wedding invitation is the domain of the brides family, as is the wedding.
if it reassures you more, i used to actually write sample wedding invitations for an actual wedding invitation catalogue. i know for sure that what i wrote above is correct.
2007-08-05 22:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by jaded 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its rude at all, whether they are paying or not, the traditional way of writing invitations have the brides parents hosting and inviting the guests to share in the marriage of their daughter to a man. Men were usually considered independant and alone, where the girls were seen as dependant and going from their father home to their husbands. The brides parents are presenting their daughter, the grooms parents are not presenting their son.
2007-08-05 21:06:23 · answer #6 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not hosting it, you would usually not be on the invitation. If the couple themselves pays, neither set of parents is usually listed. You should not take it personal. The brides parents traditionaly pay and are therefore thaditionally listed on the wedding invites. If it's that big of a deal perhaps you could contribute some other way...decorate or cook or clean up afterwards or something, and maybe compromise to have your names added...but it really shouldn't be that big of a deal...it is their wedding, be happy!
2007-08-05 20:33:46 · answer #7 · answered by perfect_blue_and_blond 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is from my Manners book-
The question was which parents are announced:
"A wedding announcement is not is not intended to be like a list of movie credits, where everybody who had a hand in the production is name. There is also a distinction between and announcement submitted to a pare and announcement mailed to friends who are not invited to the wedding. In the announcement submitted to the newspaper, the people making the announcement may included the step parent of the bride's, although her other biological parent is also listed, but the bridegroom's original parents are listed merely as a matter of information, as they are not giving the wedding. A mailed announcement to friends gives the names only of the people who gave the wedding and the couple whose wedding it was."
I know it is not exactly what you asked, as you said invitation, but it was the closest I could find.
I hope it helps,
star spinner
2007-08-05 20:22:19 · answer #8 · answered by Teak Fox 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually its not traditional at all to even put the grooms parents name on there. It's kinda a new thing anyway.
The brides family is put on the invite b/c they are the ones hosting--so they are paying for it and in charge of "giving away" a daughter. The son isn't seen as being given away, nor in a traditional wedding would the groom's parents be supposed to pay for it. They would pay for the rehearsal dinner but not for the wedding.
Now of course with all the modern things--both families can chip in, step parents chip in, the bride and groom both pay for it themselves--and so invites have changed to allow for those differences and allow for both names to be on it.
But if you are strictly following traditional divisions--the grooms parents wouldnt be on it and wouldn't be paying for the wedding. As to if it was right or wrong--the element of it that is wrong is if they are (as you implied) punishing you and omitting you BECAUSE you couldn't pay. Now that is rude. But if you feel slighted why don't you discuss it with the bride and groom? I'm sure they don't want to start their marriage out on the wrong foot.
2007-08-05 20:12:53 · answer #9 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It is up to the bride to include the groom's parents. There is no right and wrong on this issue. It would be a beautiful gesture of her and her family to include the groom's parents, but they are not obligated to.
Mr. and Mrs. John Jones request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Joan Marie
to
Mr. John Christopher Pierce
son of Mr. and Mrs. James Pierce
This would be a way of including the grooms parents.
2007-08-06 12:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋