Been planning the honeymoon but lately my bride to be and her mother have been taking over the plans and changing them. They reject any of my suggestions and have so far doubled the cost of the trip (from $5000 to $10,000
). I am the one paying for this but they always respond the wedding is all about the bride so it should be her choice. Do you think this is right or should i make them pay for it if i can't make any decisions in relation.
2007-08-05 12:12:01 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This was just general curiosity i just went and planned and payed for the honeymoon and it can't be changed now.
2007-08-05 12:32:59 · update #1
Well, I'm glad you had some stones and planned the trip!
2007-08-05 14:20:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have put my foot down if I were you and demanded the mother to stay out of it, especially with paying for it out of your OWN pocket!
The wedding day and honeymoon is NOT just about the bride! Its about the groom as well and they seem to often get "kicked to the curb" and their opinion is not heard at all!
I hope this is not a taste of things to come with your relationship with your bride!
I also hope that you like the honeymoon they've planned.
If you "JUST" paid for the honeymoon, you usually have a chance to cancel and get 100% of what you paid back. Please look into this, especially if you are not happy with the honeymoon location!
Good luck! (You'll need it!)
2007-08-06 07:47:32 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply say that yes the wedding is for the bride, but the honeymoon is for the couple... which includes the GROOM!! If you feel you are being left out of the decisions, simply ask your fiance to include you. As part of the couple, you should be making your share of the decisions anyway. I would tell them that yes, a $10,000 honeymoon is nice, but the savings you are suggesting in a $5,000 honeymoon will go towards a nice downpayment on _________... (insert something your fiance and her mother would approve of here... house? nursery? car? stock? bond? business? the possibilities are endless.)
Also, just as a side here... if you are paying, and they won't listen to you... when is any of this going to change? Will wifey and her mom be naming your kids? choosing where you live? where you work? what kind of car you get to drive? Stand up for yourself... You and your new wife will be going on a honeymoon, so the mother really shouldn't have a say in where/how you spend it.
Suggestions welcome from mom-in-law, sure...but it should be you and your fiance's final choice.
2007-08-05 12:25:55 · answer #3 · answered by momndad42 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh no not right at all!! The honeymoon should be planned between the bride and groom, or just the groom if he wants to surprise her, not the bride and her mom. Her mom needs to butt out. I think she thinks she's trying to help, but she's really not. Ideas are one thing, totally planning your child's honeymoon is a whole nother ballgame. You need to have a heart to heart with your bride to be, becuase it sounds like she is putting her mother above you and you are the one she is marrying. No disrespect for her mother, but she needs to realize that her baby girl is getting married and can't run to her mother for every little decision that her and her husband should be making together. Good luck, and hopefully you just went ahead and booked the one you and her chose, not her and her mother.
2007-08-05 14:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by Wishing on a Dream 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I had a deal-I planned the wedding, and he planned the honeymoon. We stuck to this decision, although I asked and he gave his imput on the wedding, and I´m doing the same now that we are married and will honeymoon in September.
You need to put your foot down, and make this deal with your fiance, or her and her mother are going to dictate the rest of your life-you need to emphasize that you and your fiance are a team, and as a team, you will both make the decisions-50/50.
2007-08-05 23:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by Learning is fun! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you and your bride to be should sit down and talk when nobody is around and you should let her know how you feel. Let her know that you wanna be part of the decision making, its your honeymoon too. If she responds in a hostile manner or does not wanna compromise then maybe you should think about what your about to comment to, do you wanna spend the rest of your life with somebody like that? You need to let her know there is a budget that needs to be stuck too, plus your the one paying for it. But i think you guys go out for dinner just the two of you and really talk with out the "mother in-law" around you might be able to work things out.
2007-08-05 12:22:48 · answer #6 · answered by lisa_7702 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make them pay if they are going to be so bossy about it.The wedding is not all about the bride but about your future union together.They are being really selfish and you should also take that as a clue about the future state of your upcoming marrriage when it comes to decision making.
She should be thankful your marrying her first of all and if my husband planned a 5,000 honeymoon for me when we got married I would have been the happiest woman in the world!!!
so- make them pay if they are going to be selfish like that.
2007-08-05 12:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry this is happening. I believe that the honeymoon is be a place where both the groom and bride want to visit.
2007-08-05 12:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The wedding is NOT all about the bride, if there was no groom there would be no wedding. Time to put your foot down, sounds like your bride is showing her true colours!!
2007-08-05 23:21:14 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU and YOUR BRIDE!!!! mum shouldn't be present! Tell her to butt out! And if the wedding is all about the bride than why is a groom required??? It's your day too!! Stand up for yourself or this will be the way it always goes for the rest of your marriage.....you vs. wife & mommy! Your marrage is you and wife......you are only marrying one woman.
2007-08-05 12:19:49 · answer #10 · answered by Debbie S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you let them walk over you now, they will do so after the honeymoon is over too. Make sure you emphasize to your wife that you are not happy with their plans.
2007-08-05 12:16:07 · answer #11 · answered by hansblix222 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋