A friend/co-worker reasently lost there daughter unexpently. She is having a hard time copeing. I want to help her, but I dont know how.
2007-08-05 11:17:00 · 8 answers · asked by dream catcher 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
have her seek grief counseling and a support group so that she is with other people that know how she feels. offer to go with her to these meetings. please be sure that if you see anything that even remotely seems like suicide that you do something dont just sit back and let it happen. the best you can do i s let her know that you are there but dont smother her she needs a lil space.
2007-08-05 11:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by sweet young thing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her a blank card .... write in it
" I'm praying, and I'm here to listen" or something similarly brief.
give her an extra squeeze on a hug and look into her eyes
invite her to eat lunch with you -- You bring the food and find a quiet place for the 2 of you to sit outdoors (if it's not too hot)
If you hear her daughter's birthday is coming up, or similar, ask her if there is a special way you can help celebrate or remember her daughter. (Baking cookies....walking to her daughter's favorite pond...etc. maybe listening to what your friend has written as a memorial)
Offer to go to church with your friend, sitting together.
I don't think the specific thing you do or say really matters, it's the heart to heart connection of a friend.
2007-08-05 18:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has give good advice.
When someone loses a loved one they seem to receive an outpouring of love and support for a couple of months and then people get back to their own lives and these poor people feel abandoned. Please keep in mind that this is not something you friend is going to recover from in that short period of time - she lost her child unexpectedly. It will probably take some time for the reality of it all to even hit her. Maybe that is what she's going through now.
Be there for her for the long haul. Know that she will experience good and bad days for a long time. If you notice she is particularly down ask her what kind of day she is having. Let her know if she wants to talk you are there to listen. Let her know you care how she is coping.
Don't be afraid to laugh or joke around with this person, many of us feel we should be all sad and glum around grieving people but how about trying to lift them up.
A very good friend of mine lost her fiance at 20, he was 21. I remember visiting her months after his death and were laughing and crying over all the fun times we had all shared. In the middle of it she stopped and told me I was the only one who'd talk to her about her fiance. Everyone else went out of their way not to mention him when she was around. She told me she wanted to talk about him, to remember all the good times. She didn't want him to be forgotten. So don't be afraid to talk to her about her child. Even to ask questions if you didn't know her daughter well.
Sometimes a big hug from a friend on a bad day does wonders as well.
My heart goes out to your friend.
2007-08-05 18:48:52 · answer #3 · answered by Choqs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A death of a child is the hardest thing that caring parents ever have to go through. I saw 2 pairs of parents whose sons died in the same car accident, this summer, and it is extremely painful for them to cope with. Alot of people when the loss of a child occurs, tend to want to be left alone at home, to give themselves time alone to cope. You can give her gifts such as flowers and other things like food to help them get through, but do not get into their lives alot about it since they may want to be alone.
2007-08-05 18:53:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get her a Dianetics session (either learn to do it yourself or find a professional in your area) to help her handle the loss she has experienced and get relief from the grief she is feeling. Check out the website www.dianetics.org.
My friend's dad passed away, and her mother got this and it helped her a lot.
2007-08-05 18:21:06 · answer #5 · answered by concorde315 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a very hard experience losing a loved one, just let her know you are there for her if she wants to talk and that you will always be her friend.
2007-08-05 18:31:01 · answer #6 · answered by Dancer110 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. Listen intently to what she says and be consoling and caring.
If you haven't experienced this yourself then it's kind of hard to understand fully to what she is going through. Mostly I would think she would just want people to care about what she's going through.
2007-08-05 18:26:35 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only give you this:
Offer help, tell her you are there make sure she has your number and shes comfortable with you wanting to help.
Then step back.
You cant force help onto someone, they have to come to you for help.
2007-08-05 20:59:31 · answer #8 · answered by Meg-gun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋