Forgiveness........Please Help!!!!?

Question

I have always been able to forgive easily, but right now, I am so angry that I could scream!! I need some some suggestions or scripture reference and encouragement on how to REALLY let go and forgive (my mom). I REALLY want to do it. I go to sleep thinking about her and wake up thinking about her. HOW DO I REALLY let go of deep rooted hurt and pain? I KNOW that no one is perfect. I just dont understand why this one thing is so hard for me to do!! I need to be free from this!! Please Help!

By the way, I am almost 30, on my own and raising a son, so I KNOW what its like to be a parent. I think I have never dealt with past hurts and now they are resurfacing. THANKS EVERYONE for the suggestions! I am ready to get past this!

(have been on my own for 12 years). I just want a loving relationship with my mother. She does not seem to want the same. That hurts.

Thanks ALL! I am humbled and will take time to meditate and pray and ask God to forgive me and take my focus off other things!!!!

Answer 1

You sound like a teenager, it is normal behaviour you will grow out of it in your 20's.

Answer 2

My goodness! Whatever did your mother do to deserve such a heart-felt grudge?
Unforgiveness has a way of distorting your whole world. Everything is out of focus and faults seem to be magnified out of proportion. It's tough to go around with a chip on your shoulder.
But, it's true that we cannot erase the past and when someone does something wrong to us, it is hard to forgive and forget, we're human, I guess. It's a situation which is not easily solved.
You can tell your mother that you forgive her, but you simply cannot forget about it! Actually, then, you did not really forgive her, have you?
Jesus was in the business of healing and that, my dear is what you need. God forgives anyone who comes to Him honestly. He will receive complete unreserved forgiveness and acceptance. Here is His promise: " I will remember their sins no more " ( Hebrew 8:12). When God forgives, He forgets.
True forgiveness has wonderful healing powers. It restores eyesight; we suddenly see ourselves much more clearly. If you cannot forgive, then you are blind to your own faults. Haven't you ever done anything that needed to be forgiven?
My dear, your mother has been forgiving you quietly , overlooking things that you probably haven't even noticed. When you acknowledge this simple fact your whole perspective should come back to you.
Until the rift is mended between your mother and you, can any type of healing happen. Forgiveness will not be complete.
This is the way God forgives. He asks nothing in return. Imagine that. After we had Him hung on a cross, His life-blood drained from His body, He still forgives us. He loves us, where to hate us would be the natural response. It pardons us, when we only deserve punishment. He has freed us from the burden of guilt.
That is what forgiveness is all about- acceptance of the hurt and of the suffering- and of the one who caused the suffering.
I sincerly hope that you think carefully about how Jesus forgives and be like Him. God Bless.

Answer 3

Sweetie, the best way I can describe this is to tell you that your pain and anger is like a deep cut to the skin. Sometimes you may need stitches (God), then you need some neosporin (Scripture) to help heal the wounds and then you need to let it heal over (Prayer). Remember that the scars are always going to be there but they won't hurt so bad as time goes by if you continue to ask the Lord to comfort you and give you strength to overcome this. When Jesus was crucified on the cross, He did it for ALL of Everyones sins. He still has the scars, yet He still loves us and forgives us. I know how hard it is to do this but it does get easier when you think of it like this also... We cannot be forgiven ourselves if we can't learn to forgive others, as it says in the Lord's Prayer, "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." I'll be praying for you and I know that you will overcome this because you are a child of the King! God loves you and He will set you free. Try to read up on Proverbs.. It really helps me. God Bless!!!

Answer 4

Here's where you make a conscious choice to forgive. You don't feel it, you just choose to do it. You trust that in forgiving your mother, that God will help you feel forgiveness at some point in the future. Tell God that you choose to forgive her. Then when thoughts arise in your mind that are unforgiving toward your mom, don't dwell on those thoughts. Say again that you choose to forgive her.

Now this may sound a bit nuts, but it is exactly what I did when my husband left and divorced me. I was horribly angry. But I came to realize, with God's help, that the anger wasn't changing him and it certainly wasn't helping me. What I learned is that in forgiving him, I was the one who became free. And, yes, God did work those feelings of forgiveness in me, but it wasn't right away. But you are the one who has to choose. Trust God with your choice to forgive.

Answer 5

Think about the things you've done wrong in your life, and how God loves you anyway. This is how God wants us to treat the people around us, particularly our loved ones. It's especially difficult, in my experience, for young people to forgive their parents, because when they are little, they see their parents as strong and perfect. As they get a little older, they realize their parents are not perfect. That's all the more reason to love them, just as God does.

Answer 6

It helps me to forgive someone if I remember that I don't know all the facts about why they treated badly. Your mom may have had some really bad things happen to her in her life that she never told you about. Keep in mind all the things that God has forgiven you for. Pray for her. It's hard to stay mad at someone when you're praying for them. I'll pray for you both.

Answer 7

God tells us:

Rom 12:18-21
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
(from New International Version)

There are two parts to the answer to your question:

1. You may NEVER have peace with your mother since part of that peace is dependent on her and you can't control her.

2. God knows that it is difficult, but you may have continue to DO GOOD to her until you have peace with the situation.

Remember that Jesus prayed FOR His enemies even as He was dying at their hand on the cross.

I would suggest that you "cautiously" do things that your mother would like . "Cautiously" because you should not sin by hurting others to do this "good" for her. Surprisingly, this often clears OUR turmoil.

Answer 8

I feel the same way about my mom. She's also hurt me plenty. Taking a break from the person sometimes helps.

Answer 9

God says that we must forgive. Unforgiveness turns into bitterness and bitterness eats away at the body and we become ill. We are to love the person and hate their sin. Anger will kill you. Jesus said, "How can you say you love me who you haven't seen, and hate your mother who you have seen?" Jesus said "brother" and I put in "mother."

Pray for your mother everyday and let God handle her.

Answer 10

sounds like your young maybe a teenager i guess.forgive and you shall be forgivin.remember just because you are angry at mom you still need to respect her.her house her rules got it!.when you are on your own then you do it your way.beware!! its not all roses when you get out on your own.ask for the lord to help you over come this.if your trying on your strength you are already defeated.