why cant i get along with my mom she drives me nuts!?

Question

im 13 14 in sep and since iwas 12 ive hated my mom every lil thing she does bothers me BAD to day we had a horrible fight since i dont know went i slammed my door clled her a ***** and she called me a immature ***** whos spoiled which inst that true then she tell me i have no friends but i do then she tell my dad it was my fault but she started it tell me is this normal and do u and your mom fight like this

Answer 1

It is true that you are at the age when it's pretty typical to not get along with your mom especially if you are a girl. I know you don't want to hear this, but mainly the trouble comes from you. Most likely, your mom is the same person she has always been, but you are going through a lot of changes and it's affecting your moods along with your body. However, your mom should know all this because she went through the same things herself. It's not your fault about the changes, you can't help that. But what you can help is the WAY you fight with your mom. From what you said above it sounds like you and your mom just have a 'free for all' fight usings everything and anything to provoke each other. This isn't healthy for either of you. While you can't 'change' your mom, you can decide for yourself that there are certain boundaries that you won't cross when 'fighting' with your parents. You will be surprised how eventually things will go better for you if you can stick to those boundaries...such as no name calling. If you can master this now, it will affect your future relationships in a positive way.

In a calmer time, why don't you sit down with your mom and show her this message and ask her what she thinks? I really believe that you and your mom love each other a whole lot but you both need to work on your 'fighting' skills. It is possible to say things in the heat of the moment that can affect your relationship for a long long time....especially when a parent says things to a child at your age. But don't get me wrong...you should honor your parents no matter how wonderfully or poorly they behave. I am the mother of two grown daughters and I know you two are in for a rocky ride but it doesn't have to cause damage that can't be repaired.

Also, if you are the oldest daughter or even if you aren't, raising kids without making mistakes it probably impossible. Nobody gives you a owners manual, so try to cut her a little slack.

Bottom line, she should never have called you a name especially one that couldn't have been printed here. But the one thing I have learned as a daughter and a parent is that, no matter what, children can never change their parents. You just have to accept them for what they are and try and deal with it in the best way. Sometimes, my mom who's 78 drives me crazy. So in a way, it never ends, but I love her dearly and thank God for every day she's still here with me.

Answer 2

I understand where your coming from I went through the same thing. Its really your choice because if you move with your mom ur dad is sad and doesn't say anything but loves when you visit him butbif you move with your dad your mom is pissed and yells at you and is depressed or vice versa. Or even maybe there both nice and your stuck and don't know what to do which makes it even harder. If you talk to the mediator if you go to court and discuss all your dilemmas they can help you decide from what your saying. I would love to tell you it gets easier as you get older but it doesn't. That's why a parent splitbup like ruins everything.

Answer 3

Dont worry. Mothers and daughters go through this between the ages of 13 and 18, or sometimes 20. I thought for a while I would never have my wonderful daughter back that use to be so quiet and easy going. She would tell me what I wanted to hear, and just go out till all hours and had friends that was into things I didnt aprove of, and she worried me so bad, I couldnt sleep at night till her key got in the door. Now she is 23, and we are the best of friends! She values my advice, and I ask her for advice. She has grown up and matured and has become my daughter again! Its hormones and pier pressure. There are lots of factors, but just remember through it all your Mom still love you. You two just dont see eye to eye right now, but someday you will again.

Answer 4

this is all part of the " terrible teans " both you and mom have a lot of hormones kicking around, thats why you have started to clash with her, instead of battleing with her, why don't you suggest a girlie day out, just you and mom, so you both have each others attention, the sad fact is in a few years time when you are full grown and made a few mistakes, as we all do, you will find when you have children of your own you will tell them to clean their room, turn the music down, and get in earlier, only then will you understand where your mom is coming from, I had 2 boys who drove me nuts, but I still loved them, sometimes I didn't like them, but now they are grown men, we have a lovely relationship. don't rush to grow up, you get there very quick, enjoy each new birthday and the joy of growing up!!!!! p.s I live in England but my son lives in Wellington which I visited this year, you have a lovely country.

Answer 5

It sounds normal for a 13 year old. You can not see one another's points of view. What you find a priority in your life is a laugh to your mother. Try stating your feeling more and slamming doors less. Never call your mother out of her name.
I wish I had a mother to fight with. Mine died when I was 4 years old.

Answer 6

the problem is you are 13 and you want more freedom and her problem she still sees you as a child. And neither of you communicate your true feelings to one another. Instead of fighting with her here is a suggestion: ASK her if you and she can sit down and work out your problems in a civil way - NO YELLING or SCREAMING. And when you do sit down tell her how you feel and let her tell you how she feels. After you and she communicate your feelings work out some type of agreement both you and she can live with.

Answer 7

This happens and it saddens the mother as much as it does the child. I think sometimes the mom and daughter are just too much alike. Talk to your mom and tell her you want to go back to the way things used to be. Suggest taking walks together or something simple to rebuild your relationship, I am sure she loves you and misses the way things used to be.

Answer 8

It sounds like you guys are a lot alike and have problems getting along.. Me and my mom didn't get along when I was a teenager.. I think we were a lot alike and just bumped heads.. Calling each other names doesn't make the situation any better... I think instead of calling each other names you both need to calm down and talk when you aren't so mad...

Answer 9

You fail to get along with your mother because you are a know-it-all spoiled brat that knows nothing at all. In ten years when you are just about grown up with a little maturity and experience you will see eye to eye with your mother and realize just what a little twit you've been..

Answer 10

My mom and I faught like this constantly until I started my period so if you havn't then you probably will soon and if you have, you and your mom need to sit down and talk things out and mabey go to a family counsler for a few weeks.