Why does it hurt so much to lose them?

Question

I had to have my cat put to sleep today.

He was seriously ill, very very thin and had stopped eating and drinking this week. The vet had given him some antibiotics which we were trying but today he started struggling for breath and couldn't stand up and we decided enough was enough.

I feel so awful - did I do the right thing? The vet said that yes it was probably the right decisions - the only other thing they could do was to put him on a drip and subject him to loads of blood tests which I didn't think he would be able to cope with, being as ill as he was. They weren't sure what exactly was wrong with him.

So we took him to the emergency vets and had him euthanased so he wouldn't suffer anymore. I was with him right till the end.
This is the part of having a pet which I hate. Losing them. I miss him so much.

Thanks for all your answers, so touching! My partner is really down at the moment as Reggie was his cat but we are both really really missing him. I hate having the make the decision about euthanasia. I keep beating myself up that maybe we should have tried the tests.

I also feel guilty as I have an 8 moth old baby and in the past few months have been so busy with the baby that I haven't had as much time to spend with Reg as I used to.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your loss. Reg was part of the family and it is natural that you should grieve. I hope the following is of some comfort.............

May I go now
Don't you think the time is right?
May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be,
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first.
I fought with all my might!
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go! I really do!
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day .
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and are afraid
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I loved you too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now, just one more time,
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Answer 2

Our pets are more than just an animal we take care of, they're a part of the family, as though they were human beings. With that being said, that's why it hurts so much, we lost a loved one, even though it was a pet/animal.

We had to put 3 of our cats to sleep, one had cancer, Goldie, he was roughly 14, Al-Lee, he was roughly 5-6, he had renial , failure, we gave him IVs for 9 months, which extended his life, however, in the end, he went from a 15-16 lb cat, down to 5 lbs, we'll never do that again, it was horrible to watch him wither away, then there was Sassy, he was roughly 5-6, he had tumors (3) on his head area, one near his ear, two on his neck. We took him to the vet's, and they had no idea was the lumps were, so they took a sample to send to have it tested, and sadly it was a form of cancer.

He was doing great for about a month, then all of a sudden, he was like a limp doll, so we took him to the vets, and we left him there to get the best care possible, that was on Saturday. We got a call that night from the vet and we were told Sassy was up and eating, what great news. Then Sunday came...no phone call in the morning, so we thought, that's a good sign, Sassy's doing ok....

Well all happiness ended around 2:15pm that day, the phone rang, I answered it, and on the other end was the vet, he told me Sassy was going down hill fast and that we should get there ASAP if we wanted to see him before he passes. Well, it just about broke our hearts...here we were once again facing the lose of yet another family member.

We did what we thought was best, we didn't want to see Sassy suffer, so we gave the ok for the vet to put Sassy to sleep. We miss that cat so very much. The way I look at it, we did what we did out of love. And we always said, we would never let our pets suffer.

So you see, it might hurt in the begininn g, however, there is a peaceful feeling knowing you did the right thing.

Answer 3

The fact that you are grieving tells me that this cat had a good home where it was loved. I feel that the best a pet can do is to become a part of a family that will love and care for it. Unfortunately, so many will never know this feeling and are euthanized simply because they have no home to go to. Please be comforted by the fact that you gave your cat love and care, and when the time came to let go you didn't act in a selfish manner by keeping a suffering animal alive to satisfy your own needs. Instead you gave it the dignified end that it deserved. As time goes on I would recommend that you visit your local shelter and give another lucky cat a loving home. That is the best thing that could happen for your next four footed companion.

Answer 4

I'm so very sorry for your loss. The pain of losing a beloved animal hits deep in the soul. Animals are so trusting of us, and give us unconditional love. It's not easy to make the tough decision you had to do - but you did do the right thing. It would have been cruel (and selfish on your part) to let him suffer. You did the right thing. In a month or so when you feel better, the best thing you can do is help another animal out there. So many need homes and your new pet will help ease the pain of losing your beloved friend. Take care and thank goodness there are good people like you in this world!

http://www.petfinder.com

Answer 5

Yes you did do the right thing,losing a pet, whether it be a cat dog mouse or fish is a strain on your emotions

I lost my 15yr old Belgium Shepard "Clint" to a tumour just under 2 years ago, i still miss him and like you was there till the very end, it is the best thing you can do for your pet, i wouldn't have wanted to see him struggle any longer, the strange thing is that his "litter brother "Ace" died 6 weeks later, i think Clinty was calling for Ace to go to the Rainbow bridge together

You will never replace your Cat, you can only invite another bundle of fluff into your life to ease your pain, i did and i ended up with another Belgie Shepard called Addy he will be 2 on the 17th August and hes an angel with a mischeivous personality and lots of puppy cuddles to boot :D

Answer 6

I feel very sad for you. You did the right thing, It is natural to want to do everything you can for a loved pet. All your vet could have done is prolong it's life temporarily by giving the boosters and antibiotics. Your cat was was ill but I'm sure he knew how much he was loved.
I had the same situation 7 years ago with traumatising trips to vets but I will always remember my cat as being healthy and happy and will never be forgotten.

Answer 7

I am so very sorry to hear about your cat. They do very quickly become part of the family and it is so hard to lose them. I know just how you feel because I had my cat put to sleep after a short illness and whilst you feel guilty now, you obviously did the right thing. Think about his quality of life if you had allowed more futile treatment.
Remember the good times and time is a great healer. You will always remember him but the sadness fades with time.
Whenever we lose an animal I always say "Never again", but I cannot imagine a house without animals. They give so much love. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I am so sorry. It is very hard to lose a loved pet because the become such a big part of out families. If your kitty was struggling that much, even though it was hard to do, you did the right thing. Just remember that he is longer suffering and try to find some comfort in that. I know it's hard, I have been though it many times and it never gets any easier.

Answer 9

It's amazing how people bond with thier pets, and perfectly normal to grieve for a pet who has been put to sleep, as they are family. I know it was a hard decition for you to make- but you made the right choice. Take comfort in knowing you didn't allow your cat to suffer. I have pet rats, and they only live for about two years, and it hurts so much when one of them dies. I cry for days, everyone thinks it's silly, but it's my pet, and I'll grieve the way I see fit. I had a dog that was euthanized four years ago, I still think of him and miss him, he was a good friend, but I didn't want him to know what suffering was, and I still believe I made the right choice for him. Your cat enjoyed a happy life with you, perhaps you can offer the same to another cat, in need of a home!

Hugs!

Teej

Answer 10

I'm so sorry about your cat. Mine almost died a couple of weeks ago. Seems she had had a fight with another animal and gotten bitten or slashed and it got infected. And we didn't even know until she was really, really sick. Ours got better, and I'm so glad because I don't know what I would do without her.

Before our cat, we had two large dogs. One had a couple of weeks to live and she had cancer. When I could tell that she was in pain and not feeling good, I sent her to the vet. I couldn't stand to see her suffer. The other was so fat (thyroid) she couldn't walk anymore so we took her in, too, to have her euthanized.

Animals aren't like people. People can tell us when they hurt, but we just have to watch our animals for signs of pain. But when a kitty is having trouble breathing, death is imminent. He was going to die in the next few hours anyway, and you just helped him leave a little early and took away his pain.

Yes, you did the right thing. You're a caring kitty mom and your cat knows that. He doesn't blame you, in fact he thanks you, because you loved him enough to let him leave the pain behind.

I'm so sorry, honey. If it helps, I believe our animals will be with us in paradise. So he's gone in his body, but his soul is waiting patiently for you.

Take care

TX Mom