I just asked her to clean up a mess she made by the table (she threw some melon during breakfast). She said no mommy, you do it. I again asked her to do it. She just looked at me and refused to do it. I put her in time out for awhile, and then got her out and told her again to pick it up. She refused. So now she's back in time out. I don't know what to do! SHe needs to learn to clean up her messes when I ask her to. I don't think this time out is even working.... Any ideas?
2007-08-05 07:33:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Discipline only works if the parent is more relentless than the child. Let this be your mantra "I will not let a three year old boss me around."
Throwing food is unacceptable and you are right not to tolerate it. Let the girl sit in her corner until she is ready to clean it up. You gave her the three minute time-out, now the choice is hers. She can chose to sit in a boring time out, or she can chose to ask politely to clean up her mess, then play.
If you make it very clear to her that those are her only two options, she will eventually chose to clean up the melon. If she wants to sulk in the corner for a little while first, don't let it bother you. Take the time to do something quiet that makes you happy, like read a book or magazine, or eat a cookie.
You will be surprised at how quickly she will be a helpful, respectful girl again. Stick with it because it's worth it!
2007-08-05 08:46:57 · answer #1 · answered by Meghan H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If time out isnt working you probably need to be more firm. My pastor from church is teaching a lesson on "Good Parenting". Today he told a story of he & his son when he was 3yrs old. His son had ate a banana & threw the peel in the midlle of the living room floor. He asked his son nicely to pick up the peel and his son said "No". He asked his son 2 more times to do it & his son's reply was no. So then he took a belt a spanked him. Each time his son said no the spankens would be a bit harder than the last. Now Im not talking child abuse. he was spanked on the bottom plus had a diaper on. Anywho this went on for 30 minutes & finally his son picked up the peel. As soon as he dropped it in the trash can. My pastor said he picked him up & praised him for being obedient. Point being..you have to show your children your the parent. Be consistent about it & they will grow to learn the concept.
2007-08-05 19:33:49 · answer #2 · answered by BeBeMiLLeR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one is a toughy. The 2 and 3 year olds are learning what the boundaries are and how far they can push the limits. Try getting down with her and pointing to a piece of the mess and telling her pick that up, and continue on until its clean and thrown away. I have to Guide my 3 year old by holding his hand, putting it on what I want him to pick up, closing his hand around it and then picking his hand up and guiding it to the table or wherever I wanted him to put it. All the while he is whining or crying telling me "no I dont want to pick up." We've been working on that for awhile and now at least some of the time when I tell him to pick it up he does (still a ways to go though:) . Hang in there, she will learn, but you have to stick to your guns and not give in and do it for her. Time outs never really worked that well for my kids either.
2007-08-05 14:54:24 · answer #3 · answered by passion8 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My 3 yr old trys to pull the same stuff on me. I put her in time out for her 3 mins, after that is finished I ask her again to clean up the mess, if she doesn't she goes right back to time out and looses her computer priviledges (she has a favorite elmo game on here), if she continues to refuse I keep putting her back in time out and taking away priviledges and toys. Eventually she gives in a cleans up her mess. Its hard sometimes, but you have to stay consistant. She doesn't do this as often as she used to, but she still thinks she can every once in a while. Just be consistant. You may have to swat that butt real quick and not too hard though. Just don't back down...make her clean her own mess. You have to teach your children to pick up after themselves. Good luck!!!
2007-08-05 14:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by Drea Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Megan makes a good point. Perhaps you could make such little tasks more fun for her by doing them together until she gets the hang of it. "Are you big enough to help Mommy clean up?" They love to feel big. Another tactic would be "Don't you dare clean up!". This actually does sometimes work, but could come back to haunt you.
I can't help but note that you ASKED her to do it. Asking provides an option. Your daughter simply exercised her option to say "No". She really needs to be TOLD.
Lastly, be assured that she will outgrow this stage. The bad news is that it could be 22-27 years before that happens.
Good luck. You'll figure her out. Most Mothers eventually do.
2007-08-05 14:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by Tom K 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have 6 kids, 4 still at home. over the years I have learned that right from birth they are all different. any one who says that babies are born without a personality doesn't have kids of there own. but their personalities are not set in stone, they are still developing. what you do and say will help to mold them into who they will become. while time outs work for some kids talking works for others, sometimes a combination of the two. just don't give up try everything.
2007-08-05 14:56:04 · answer #6 · answered by beanerjr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she know HOW to clean up her messes? I'm not saying this in a rude way, but children learn from examples. They need to be shown how to do something before they'll grasp it. Maybe if you supervise her cleaning up, and show her how you'd like it done, she'd be able to complete the task without throwing a fit. I go through this with my son as well, and it takes a lot of patience! Especially when time-outs aren't working.
2007-08-05 14:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by Megan 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Lot's of good examples here(excluding the hitting suggestions), one thing that works for me and my 3 year old is a good old fashioned kitchen timer. Not the microwave, a timer one that actually dings. My 3 y/o thinks is fun to make it ding, but what I do is use it to prepare her. I'll okay you have 5 min left in the bath tub when the timer goes off it's time to get out" or when it goes off it's time to pick up yoys b/c we have to leave. It works! For discipline....if you have not picked up your toys like I asked in 3 min when the timer goes off I will take away your babay doll(favorite to). It works! Give it a shot!
2007-08-05 23:34:40 · answer #8 · answered by alisun3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A small crack on the but will help All four of my kids had to get spanked at this age to learn b/c nothing else worked it scares them and it worked My kids range in age from 17-4 it has no negative side effects and I no longer have to do it .it is just the age of three they want to push right over a cliff.
2007-08-05 14:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by Beckles 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My three year old does the same thing. I was told that they are seeing what they can get away with what not. I dont like it anymore than you do but keep putting him/her in time out. Routine is what gets them to start listening.
2007-08-05 14:49:23 · answer #10 · answered by batty76117@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋