How do you handle it when you have had all you can take from your husband's baby mama?

Answer 1

I certainly understand that you're frustrated (or beyond) and I get that. It's ok to feel that way. However, it's important that you remind yourself there's a child in the middle of all this "baby mama drama" who needs everyone to set good examples for them and be adults. That being said, I think it's best to let him handle the situation. Keep in mind - this is a "package deal" when you married him. His previous relationships (or in this case, child(ren)) are part of the deal. If something happens to her, that child will be devastated and you'll have to step in. Will you be in a position to be trustworthy enough for them (the baby) to confide in you? I'd try to focus more on being an adult that the baby can rely on, more than worrying about her stupid antics. Let her rant and rave and freak out... the best thing about it is she's not your problem. HE has to deal with her! I am certainly not saying (at all) that you have no right to be upset/angry/frustrated..... by all means that is OK......... but just learn to be that way in your alone times. Beat the couch, scream out loud, freak out and let it all out so when you're in front of her/husband/baby, you look like you've got it all together. Then, it makes her look worse. Good luck, for real.

Answer 2

I think using a term like "baby-mama" is really problematic. Using cute slang legitimizes a culture where guys can impregnate girls and not support the children/family, and where girls have babies from multiple men but never have a two-parent household. Call her what she actually is, the mother of your husband's son/daughter. That removes the cutesy familiarity of baby-mama and reminds everyone that she's a person outside of her mother role.
Anyway, if she causes a lot of drama with you, just stop answering the phone or letter her come over. If she causes a lot of drama with your husband you need to resolve the problems. He needs to be paying child support, and there needs to be a court-approved visitation arrangement. Take it as a sign if he doesn't want to even be a half-assed father to this child--what are the chances he'd be a good dad to any kids he makes with you? Anyway, if there's no child support/visitation agreement your husband and this woman need to seek legal counsel.

Answer 3

My first reaction is that your husband fathered the child, and it's HIS responsibility, not yours, to see to it that the "baby mama" leaves you alone. But some men won't do that.

Other than that, when she gives you a hard time, consider the source. Trash acts like trash; it's not capable of doing anything else.

Then turn to focus to yourself.
You can't control HER behavior but you can learn to control YOURS so that whatever she does loses any power to affect you. It takes effort and time but it can be done. If you value your peace of mind, it may be the only thing you can (legally) do. First priority is to take care of what you need to do for your own peace of mind, even if it's just to take deep breaths when anger bubbles up and remember that this trouble will pass.

I'm assuming she's not doing anything for which you should call the cops and/or a lawyer.

I truly feel for you, and I hope that whatever the other person does, you find a way to refuse to let it bother you. Because it really has nothing to do with you; it's really her problem. Don't offer to share her misery. Happy people don't act the way she does.

Answer 4

I think as long as you are good to your husband's child that is all that should matter. I would not do any thing in front of the child or talk bad about the child's mother in front of the child. You need to just tell her how you feel and if at all possible set down and find some way the 2 of you can get along, not be best friends or any thing. If that is not possible make it where you do not have to see her. Have your husband or some one else pick the child up and take the child home. Limit phone conversations to just making plans to see the child. If the child is old enough they can do all phone conversations, unless it is an emegency. It is hard to give to much advice though cause I do not know your situation as to what this woman is doing to you

Answer 5

Your husband's baby's mama? I take it he had this child out of wedlock? Sounds to me like its time for him to become a man and take care of this baby - so the mama can get off your back! This of course means YOU finding your proper place in this situation - cause like it or not - you're the baby's step-mama.

Answer 6

I think the husband should go home and live with baby and mama. You should move on and find a man with no children. Then you would never have to deal with her again.

Answer 7

Better get used to it. She is unlikely to change, and she will be a part of your life forever as the mother of your husband's baby. Why does your husband have a baby by another woman? It seems that there are lots of problems here to go around. Good luck.

Answer 8

Learn to deal with it if your husband wants to be apart of his child's life you will always have the mama their too!! Just part of having blended families!!

Answer 9

I know this sounds crazy but -- try to get along with her.

Every time you think of her, try to think of something nice about her (even if it is almost impossible). Wish her well in your mind. For example "I hope she gets everything that I want for myself"

The idea is that in time you will stop being bothered by her. And she won't seem as bad. You might even start to like her. Or even better - you just won't care.

Keep in mind that guys hate it when women are fighting and b#$%ing all the time. Remember that if he gets sick of it, he will most likely choose his child. And the mama comes with it.

If you are consistently nice to her, she might come to be nice in return. It is very hard to be mad at someone who is nice to you.

Try it -- It really really works

Answer 10

I am guessing you mean you are having mother in law trouble? That is not uncommon altho some are lucky to have a great relationship with them. She probably does not like it that she is not in control of her boy anymore and that you are the reason. I have been there. Looking back on it I wish I had been more loving to her, found ways to enjoy things together and listen to her opinions (doesn't mean you have to agree). Ask her advice on small matters so she feels important in your life, grit your teeth unless she is outrageous. In that case your husband needs to step up to the plate.