Why do you think we are more attracted to people who treat us badly ?

Question

does anyone have any answers for the reason that when someone treats us nice we don't want to know and when they treat us badly it makes us want them more

Answer 1

I personally don't, but I guess as they say "opposites attract" for some weird reason !! :)

Answer 2

I am not attracted to anyone who treats me badly, you have some issues that need to be addressed by a professional. Have you been to therapy? You might consider going to a therapist but find one that is right for you. It may take a few to get the right therapist that will be the one. I am a female and finally found a male that works for me. good luck in finding answers. It is ok not to have them on your own.. Seek help We all need a helping hand. cheers

Answer 3

Sugar, if you are attracted to people who treat you badly, stop dating. For Pete's sake, that's not the way to live.

This is a conscious choice you are making, you know. You can control who you like and who you don't. Just make up your mind that you are too valuable to be taking bad stuff off of people. And then don't.

Answer 4

I would not say everyone is like that. I have never liked people that treat me bad. I think people that are attractive to people that treat them bad may have a self-esteem problem, that makes them think they don't deserve a person that treats them good.

Answer 5

YES - I WILL ANSWER THIS ONE FOR YOU.

It's not nescessarily that that they "TREAT YOU BADLY", its that they don't AUTOMATICALLY FALL OVER themselves to treat you EXTREMELY WELL, ALL THE TIME.

FIRST YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND -->> ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE.

You can't talk yourself into feeling attraction for someone - NO MATTER HOW WELL THEY TREAT YOU - and you can't talk yourself OUT OF IT.

Women are genuinely not attracted to "nice guys" who go out of their way to shower her in compliments, adoration and attempts to purchase her attention (and affection) at every available opportunity.

NONE of that stuff has ANYTHING to do with MAKING a woman feel ATTRACTION for him.

You know it.
And I know it.

But do "nice guys" know it??

Too many "nice guys" are out there RIGHT NOW thinking that offering women to "take her out" - and ASKING for permission to do so - is how to get her to feel ATTRACTION for him.

But you and I know . . . it does NOT work. And no matter how HARD a guy tries to be NICE TO YOU and offers you all the things you "SAY" you want, it does NOT mean you will feel ATTRACTION for him.

ATTRACTION does not work like that.

And the MORE he AMPLIFIES his behavior by TRYING HARD to make you like him . . . the more it has EXACTLY the same effect as someone playing REALLY BAD MUSIC, WAY TOO LOUD.

That's exactly when a woman thinks . . . "EW".

And the poor guy is left standing there - scratching his head - wondering WHY she ran off to be with "jerk-boy" after he learned a very EXPENSIVE lesson, the HARD way.

The REAL problem -->> is when women start thinking that they SHOULD automatically be treated the way NICE GUYS treat them . . . and any guy who doesn't extend them all those courtesies IN ADVANCE is a "jerk". The "nice guys" think so TOO!

But IS HE??

No. He treats her according to her BEHAVIOR. When she BEHAVES well, he is good to her. When she behaves like a total "B•TCH", he will point it out to her.

Women HATE that and confuse it with "being treated BADLY", because they KNOW there are NICE GUYS out there who will tolerate ANYTHING.

But is that ATTRACTIVE?

:)

Answer 6

thats not the way it is for me..but...

when someone treats you "badly", you see them as being higher than you in social status, because they are talking "down" to you. When someone is nice to you, you see them as being on the same social status level, or lower than you because you perceive that they see you as being higher than them, so they treat you nicely.

With that in mind, people biologically are attracted to people that are of higher social status than themselves...which is why women go gaga over athletes, singers, and actors. So when some guy plays the "higher status" roll women find them more attractive, as opposed to the lower status butt-kisser guys that are always nice to them (the "nice guy" that never gets the girl).

Answer 7

I think some people have no self respect. People that are like this, avoid!

People say you can't judge potential lovers by their past, but this is not true. If they have had a series of jerks in their lives, they will leave you for another one if you are nice, because that is the type of person they are looking for.

Some people are masochists.

Answer 8

I'm not. I'm not into jackholes.

But it's a matter of low self esteem. People don't believe they deserve to be treated better.
People believe their love can "change" the other person and make the person treat them better.

Answer 9

This should be something for all the nice guys to read...but personally I want my man to treat me they way I am toward him....so I don't need him to treat my like a princess or a b**** unless I was either one of those....

Answer 10

There are several reasons that may come into play.
We might be fearful of what the other person will do if we leave.
We might be afraid of being alone, afraid that no one else will take us.
We want approval. We constantly try to earn the person's approval and respect and love.

Answer 11

We're all "fixer-uppers" of a sort and we always think we can "improve" someone who isn't "quite up to par" (we always want to win over the one who treats us badly, so that we can bask in the light of social improvement).