Question about depression?

Question

Im a 19 year old, overweight shut in who just lost my best friend and father ive ever known. Life has just been going to hell and I know that the key to being depression is excersice, and being surrounded by those who love you. But thats not enough. I was feeling better, even enough to ask out a girl but she turned me down. It really hurt to know that im so pathetic no one would want me. I have even been putting off college because im scared of the world and i have no energy. I sleep almost 12 hours a day. I tried to lose weight, but gave up. Ive been this way for a year or two, but things got worse when my grandpa died two months ago. I blocked it out and its really starting to hit me that hes gone. This is the first time ive talked about my feelings, so my question is what can I do to get out of this depression? I have no friends, a good but non- interested family, and i feel like im on the verge of just giving up all together. Im not expecting a miracle answer, just some help.

Answer 1

hey i am 19 too i can be your online friend ,my id is cooldude_a11
just talk to me and don't do anything silly ok

Answer 2

First of all - you are not pathetic, just because that one girl you asked out said no - it doesn't mean that every girl would.You seem to have gone through a really rough patch and with your added low self confidence and lack of support it's no doubt you've gotten yourself into a bit of a state. This is acceptable and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.
Firstly I think you should see your doctor who can prescribe some antidepressants which may pick your mood up.
Then find a new hobby that really interests you - it will be a great way of meeting new friends, whom you can talk to and if you choose an active hobby, then i could mean losing weight too.
If you cant face that, i think you need to find somebody else to talk to - bottling the feeling up wont get you anywhere. Your family may seem un-interested, but I'm sure if they knew how this was really affecting you they would be a good source of support.
Best of luck with everything - keep you chin up and take care, xx

Answer 3

You are depressed and you have had a lot going on recently. I think you could really benefit from an antidepressant. It takes a while for it to work but I think you wouldn't be feeling so low after a while. Yes, excercise like walking can actually help with depression and also it would help in losing weight. But, until you can take that first step, it is hard to get going. Get on medication soon! Give it a good 6 weeks. If it doesn't work, make sure you are working with the doctor and try another antidepressant. There are many antidepressants and some work for some people and others work for other people. Good luck and don't give up.

Answer 4

Nothing can help you but your own will. I´m speaking in context:
My mother died of cancer when I was 15 and my father had gone to another country when I was 2. Suddenly I had to drop out of school because I needed to work.
It was excruciatingly hard. But you know what?
THAT EXPERIENCE WILL MAKE YOU VERY STRONG. IT WILL MAKE YOU A DECENT HUMAN BEING. IT WILL MAKE YOU A RESPONSIBLE PERSON. FIGHT ON, THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION.
Take small steps. With small victories you´ll eventually get to where you want to be. Don´t try to take a shortcut, that´s a recipe for disaster.
You should not listen to easy fix ups. Find the strength in your heart.
About your overweight problem, You can either exercise or make a stomacal bypass.
Don´t think that girls are not interested in you. The ones that will will be worthy of your attention. The others look for different things in a man. For a sensitive male, they are not necessarlity healthy to be with.
It´s also a question of attitude: If you look positive, you´ll attract smiles and interest. If you´re sulking, no one will want to dive in your pool of sadness. Many have enough on their plates.
It´s all a question of finding the right person at the right place. Believe me it happens. It has for me.

Answer 5

The key to depression is not only exercise and being surrounded by the ones that love you. Yes, they are COMPONENTS of a strategy to overcome depression but not the answer. What you need is a strategy; it consists of a whole bag of things. The first step would be to set your mind to become the best person you can be. There is much more inside you, much more potential, than you could ever think. I was a very shy person that could not even look people in the eyes. I'm not like that anymore. I'm in a process of getting better still but I have grown in leaps and bounds. The next step is to talk to your doctor - by upfront and truthful. He/she will refer you to someone that can help. Being on anti-depressants helps a lot and gives you the sanity to start changing the negative thoughts you have of yourself. Next step: A psychologist. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

I was severely depressed for 7 years after caring for three dying parents. So I certainly understand.

These are the things that finally brought me out of it. First stop sleeping set an alarm. You will have to force yourself at first but you can do it. Set a distance of a mile to start with and walk it in the morning and at night. Walking really works on the adrenalin. Talk to your grandfather as you walk, I still talk to my Mom even though she passed in 1998. It helps you get through the grief.

Ask yourself if this is all you want to be for the rest of your life.

Go ahead and get registered for school, being busy will help you get through this.

Get your Thyroid tested the next time you go to the Doctor.
An under-active thyroid will cause depression, exhaustion, weight gain. Many of the things you have. It would be worth checking. When I started the thyroid Medication the depression was gone in one month.

Come on do just these few things, and you will get your life back on track.

Answer 7

Your weight, while it can cause some problems, is not the real problem. The real problem is your attitude about it. I know things are hard for you now but you have to believe in yourself. Saying things like no one will want you and that you are pathetic are not the answers. Plenty of big men pull hot chicks. For me, a guy that is confident and sure of themself is sexy, regardless of their weight. You must deal with what is making you feel unwanted. Until then your motivation will suffer and you will be unable to address the weight issues. Talk to your family and friends. Tell them about how you feel. I am sure you will be surprised to see that some of them too have insecurities. I am very sorry for your losses and hope everything works out. Last but not least pray! You can do anything with Christ.

Answer 8

I see you have a lot of problems in your life. I also lost family, and while I will never know if our situations are similar, there is something I wish somebody had said to me back then. I will say it here, maybe it could be useful to you.

You are in pain. It is a natural and reasonable to be in pain, given recent events. But you are young, and you may believe that pain has no place in life. Such belief may be more upsetting than the pain itself. Pain is a natural emotion, and it tells us we lost something important. The solution is not to negate the pain. In time, the pain will diminish, but it will never go away completely. Such is a good thing, it is a way to remember people worthy of memory. That said, a child is overwhelmed by this pain, but not an adult. You learn to walk around with the scar on your soul, to eat even when you have no appetite whatsoever, to deal with life even when you have no desire to go on. The people who are gone wanted you to be happy. I am sure they would be glad to see you moved on with your life.

Answer 9

I cannot speak knowledgably on the subject of mental health but can tell you that I have a friend who was in a very similar situation to you. He sought therapy from a hypno therapist and has not suffered since. I think whatever you decide to do to help yourself should come under advice from a qualified person rather than the internet. Good luck

Answer 10

Well first of all, you need to get out there. Go to the library or Starbuck's and read a book. You will notice there are regulars there and you will be recognized.

Take an online class just ot get started. You will feel more comfortable the following semester to attend class!

Get back on your diet and do it for yourself. You will feel much better. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

As for the girl that turned you down, that's her loss! You will find the "ONE".

Good Luck

Answer 11

I don't know if you are a believer but I am and this is what helped me. IF you believe in prayer, God is the best friend you could ever have. He loves you no matter what. You can always find comfort in him. He promised that he would never put you through anything that you couldn't handle. Just pray for comfort and for him to lead you. He will!