What you have you learned NOT to do as a parent from your own mom and dad?

Answer 1

I've learned:

Not to judge, or call my children names. I wanted them to grow up with good self esteem.

Not to hit them. There are more effective alternatives.

Not to ignore the good things they did. Praise goes much further than criticism.

Not to push them away when they needed attention. If I didn't give it, who would?

I loved my parents, but I think I was a better parent by learning from their mistakes.

Answer 2

I'm not a parent yet but maybe in a few years. One thing I will not do, is to hit my kids every time they fail in their exams. Because of what my parents did, I can never tell them the truth about something, or just partially truth, cos I know how they will react. The way they deal with us is always by hitting us. I will also not use the words stupid, idiot, retards because it will shatter them, and even when that is what they're not, they will be feasting on the thoughts for a long, long time. It shattered my confidence until today. I'm 25.

Answer 3

I've learned to discipline more and spank less (or not at all). As parents, we are to guide our children, let them make mistakes, and take the opportunity to discover who they are. If we spank a child for making mistakes then we make them fearful, and they will doubt themselves. So, spend more time taking every opportunity to teach. That is what discipline means. Discipline is not for corporal punishment. I have a child that I've only spanked about 5 times in his life. He is 14 now. I am not even sure I should have spanked him those 5 times but we will see. Anyway, my parents were firm believers in spanking (and more severe) even when I became a teenager. So, that was too extreme. I learned from my experiences that we must look into the eyes of our children and love them, see who they are, spend time with them, and take all the opportunities we can to teach them... and let their curiosity take them where it can go safely. Last and again, let them make mistakes. Enjoy those moments.

Answer 4

My parents used to hit me with a belt, over and over again, until I was bruised and had welts from my waist to knees. I know that violence repeats itself in the offspring of a child who had a violent parent/s, so I know I will never ever hit my children with anything, but my bare hand..a spanking if needed. (and this is rare) I use time outs, and grounding..more practical than a spanking and often more effective!!

Answer 5

well ive learned many things ive learned not to yell or favor a child and not the other, not to go on vacations with just the parents, very un far but yes and i wouldnt ever get divorced because of them.

Answer 6

I have learned to make myself accessible to my kids, not to pry.The most important thing to remember is that kids might not be able to express their feelings directly. Whether its 3:00or midnight. My kids can always talk to me. I try never to put them off or to minimize their problems,concerns. I know that timing is not always possible. I work everyday so this is almost always inconvenient. Time spent now builds a more stable relationship.

Answer 7

I've learned I don't want to be a parent

Answer 8

I've learned that if I get angry enough to spank my kids, it's more about me and my frustrations than it is about my kids. I need to step away and count to ten... or a hundred.

I also think it's important to accept your children as they are, and not be competitive about their achievements. Our kids don't exist just to reflect glory or shame upon their parents.

Answer 9

I have learned most of all, don't use fear to make your kids do what you want. If they only behave out of fear for you, when you are not around, they will have no limits, and they will never be close to you. Be as honest with them as you can be, and never put more on them than their age will allow.

Answer 10

oh the stories i could tell...

my father was a total freak....

mom was great....

i learned a lot about how NOT to act, that's for sure.

take care.