I have a 2 year old son and a 5 year old step son. Its kinda strange because i want the 5 year old to call me by my first name and my son to call me dad. My 5 year old has a very involved father and i don't want to break that up they have a great realtionship. But my son will call me Tom because he hears his brother call me that. We remind him every time he calls me Tom to call me dad but the next time he talks to me its Tom.
2007-08-05 02:57:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You may want to have your 5 year old refer to you as "Daddy Tom". It doesn't affect his relationship with his real dad. And your 2 year old will start to emulate his older brother. Eventually the "Tom" will fall off as the 2 year old gets older.
My mom said I would refer to her as "Martha Mommy" and my dad as "Daddy Lou" for a long time. She didn't mind because the up side to it is that your child does know your name if something were to happen (like get lost in a store or something).
Try it and give them time to adjust to "Daddy Tom" - they'll catch on soon!!
Good luck!
2007-08-05 04:38:45 · answer #1 · answered by michspri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While we don't have the same exact issue in our family, my son does like to call my husband by his first name every once in a while. He hears other people using it, and likes to try it out on his own. We remind him that he should call him daddy. Most of the time he listens. I would just let it go for right now. If he continues when he's older, then have a chat with him. Most likely it's just another phase and he'll grow out of it. Good luck!
2007-08-05 07:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by Megan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when my 5 year old was 2 she use to call her daddy by his first name too. she heard me say it all the time so she was just mimicking me. we would just laugh at it and we knew that calling him just daddy would catch on eventually.. sometimes when she called him "ray" we would say "that's daddy" and laugh with her about it because we didn't want her to feel like she was in trouble for not calling him daddy. i actually started calling him daddy when asking him something that pertained to her for example i would say "daddy can you get isabella a drink please." she soon got the picture. don't make a big deal of it though because your child is only 2 and they don't fully understand the difference and they do like to copy those that take care of them and others that they are always around. now as for your stepson i think that if he feels comfortable calling you daddy and that's what he wants to call you , then let him. don't make him feel bad or as if he is an outcast in your household. just because his father is very involved doesn't mean that you can't be too when he is in your presence. it will make him feel important to know that you care and love him just like you do your own. you won't be taking anything from his relationship with his dad, you will just be giving him something extra. which is love and understanding. it's not like you are forcing him to call you that so don't force him not to either. you should be happy to know that he feels comfortable with you and looks up to you as a parental figure. i am not saying if he is choosing to just call you tom that that he doesn't look up to you i am just saying that you shouldn't make him call you tom or dad but let him decide so that way his feelings aren't hurt.
2007-08-05 03:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by beautiful 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you have one child call you dad and the other by your first name it becomes confusing. your 2 year old being the younger sibling will look up to his brother and will repeat things he does. calling you Tom instead of Dad is a good example. i honestly don't know what you should do besides give it time. wait until he's older and understands the situation.
2007-08-05 03:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your confusing him. stop it. and your making things hard for step son... your son sees him as a brother, not a STEP brother... and you are creating a problem for yourself. that your son is allowed to be closer, but the other is to be kept at a TOM distance. do you understand what i say or ami confusing this? it is great that the others father is involved. why dont the adults sit down and talk? ask him if he minds that they both get to call you both dad??? everybody wins. no more child confusion. your probly thinking yeah right... but ya never know....
2007-08-05 04:34:47 · answer #5 · answered by im a goonie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just have to keep correcting him & at times Ignore him after about his 3rd time calling you tom with a smile say ok son now you know not to call " DAD" Tom, What are you suppose to call me. or play with him When he calls you Tom Fake cry. When he asks whats wrong say It hurts my feelings when you call me tom Im Dad...........Dont know if it will work but its worth a try..... Good luck
2007-08-05 04:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by 1st lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its hard for the 2 yr old to understand why the difference. Refuse to answer him unless he calls you dad. This doesn't mean ignore him if he calls.
You can also tell him its a special way for him to call you so you know it is him. Always be diplomatic as to not alienate your stepson or give your son a sense of entitlement.
2007-08-05 03:08:27 · answer #7 · answered by Horse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By becoming a dad to your stepson, you aren't breaking up their great relationship -- you are adding to the love he gets. How about a compromise? Maybe you could be Daddy Tom.
If you are set on this, though, just keep reminding him, gently. Eventually, he'll realize that you have a different relationship with him than you have with your stepson, and call you Dad. I don't know, though. I feel uneasy about setting up different relationship parameters.
Maybe, you could choose a different title than the bio-father of your stepson. You'd be Pa, or popps or poppa or Pater or something, and that'd be something both boys could call you, without confusing the issue with the bio-father.
It sounds like a tough issue, and I hope you find something the whole family can feel comfortable with.
2007-08-05 03:10:16 · answer #8 · answered by Madame M 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well... my daughter calls my dad's fiance Grammy B. I don't get along with her all that well and don't like how she treats my dad but she's good to my daughter so I let her have a name. Maybe just grandpa and his first name since your dad will be pa pa.
2016-05-18 23:33:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same thing going on here. i have a 3yr old daughter who calls my new husband by his name (because she has a daddy) but when my husband's son comes to stay he calls him my his name instead of dad (because she gets to do it) his son is 6. we just keep correcting him and hope he gets past it. good luck
2007-08-05 03:06:08 · answer #10 · answered by eb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋