How many people have 3 kids at age 21? how do you deal with the judgemental things from others?

Question

I already have two n one on the way

Answer 1

Why are people judging you because you procreated?

My mom was married at 18 and had me 10 months later. She could very well have had a husband and three kids by 21.

As long as you take care of your three kids then people have no reason to judge you.

Answer 2

I still get looks and I'm 25 with 2 kids aged 5 and 2.5 yrs.
Even though I am married and have been with hubby for 9 years now. I find that if I am well presented, the kids are clean and disciplined and well behaved then the looks decrease.I don't think people judge so much on age in my experience, but more so about appearance, which is so awful but true.
Ignore them! Be the best mother you can be and if someone is really giving you a hard time, ask them how old their mother, grandmother or greatgrandmother was when she had kids.

It gets better the older you get. Enjoy it. I'm glad i'll be 40 when oldest is 20. I can then live my life while I'm still young enough to enjoy it.

Answer 3

You've got to understand that it's hard not to be judgemental of someone who has 3 kids by the age of 21. That's a lot of kids for someone that young. It's just irresponsible. Usually people that young started having kids around 16, have kids by different fathers, aren't married, live off of the state, don't stay on birth control, & complain about not having money etc. I just think young girls w/ that many kids are selfish, they want babies to keep/change their man or for attention, & they're not thinking of the kid's best interest before they go getting pregnant. Sorry, but that's how it looks, & that's why you get judged.

Answer 4

i had 3 kids at 21, well i was 22 when the 3rd was born, but still, i was 15 when i had my first baby. people are going to judge you. people will say oh, she must sleep around...but it's those same people who have had more partners than you, they just happened to not have a baby. no one seems to judge if your sexually active but if you have a kid your all of a sudden so much worse than them. just don't worry about them, be the best mother you can be, love your kids, and hopefully they have a good dad to help you. if not look for a good man, look in the right places, not in a bar, look in church, or at work. show all those who think negatively about you that you are so much more than they think. and tell them that you don't need their approval to know your a good person and a good mom. and remind them that you don't judge them for the things they do, because no one is perfect, and i'm sure there is plenty things you don't do that they do. so they have their little things about them as well that aren't perfectly up to standards. and remind that in the older generations everyone had children young, and most women were considered an old maid if she wasn't married and knocked up by 16. they all married young and had their kids young, alot of kids. it used to be unheard of for people to wait til they were 30 to have kids. god bless you and your babies, good luck and congratulations.

Answer 5

im 21 i had my first at 19 and second at 20 dont worry if people judge you because it has nothing to do with them and they have nothing better to do there just lonely people your gonna b 21 with 3 kids your going to b young enough to play with your kids as they grow up, to just have more fun with your children just remember there a blessing and dont listen to what others have to say you will b a great mum of three im sure of it

Answer 6

Honey, NEVER let anyone tear you down. Dont give them the satisfaction. I know it's easier said than done but people can be cruel and say things that hurt but at the end of the day, 'If your happy with your life and how it is turning out then stuff all the judgmental people'. They are more than likley jelous...

Just look at them like they dont exist...
Tomorrow they will more than likley have forgotten about you (if they are a stranger) or have forgoten what they thought of you....

Answer 7

hey sweetie i know how you feel, i'm 26 and my boys are 9 and 7, i also look about 18.! i'm always getting judgemental looks, especially as my oldest is rather vocal when he's mad! but you know what i've learnt is that no matter what you do people will always judge without thinking or knowing facts, unfortunatly thats human nature, and some people are rather vocal! but deep down as long as we have our babies and we know who we are as people and parents then don't ever let a bunch of busybodies who know no better get you down.enjoy being a mum, its the best job ever!

Answer 8

Well I think they probably assume you are unmarried and on your 3rd "baby daddy" and they most likely also assume you are doing it for the welfare check or because taking a pill once a day is beyond your abilities.
I think people assume this because very few people have children young anymore and even less are married by 21.