Has anyone put there nearest and dearest in for respit care?what are they like when they come home again?

Question

my mum has dementia and we really need a break?

Answer 1

Hi reggie,

I've never been in the situation where I've had to put one of my nearest and dearest into a home for respite, but I have been in the situation, where I've run a home for elderly, mentally infirm adults/clients that has provided respite care for those suffering with dementia.

Dependent on the stage of dementia that your nearest and dearest has reached, they may not even realise that they've been away from you when they return home.

What I would advise is that you weigh up the pros and cons of the situation. If you need a break, you need a break. Without this, you'll find that the pressure gets increasingly worse for you. This will result in a crisis point being reached and something will 'give', often resulting in something drastic happening.

Take the break now, while you realise that things are getting tough. Pretty soon, you'll find that you can keep going and going, and not realise just how serious things have become.

From my perspective, the client (in your case, your nearest and dearest) will soon settle into the new routine. I say new routine because that's precisely what it will be. It'll be a routine that differs to what they are used to. They'll be surrounded by faces that they don't recognise, and the surroundings will be different. Again, dependent on what stage of dementia they've reached, they'll soon adapt and everything will become normal for them.

Obviously, when they return home, clients will initially need to settle into their old routine again. This may make them appear more forgetful, or do things 'out of the ordinary', but this will soon settle down.

If there's anything more you'd like to know, from my perspective, simply click on my avatar/photograph and send me an email. I'll do my best to answer you in the best and most truthful way that I can.

Do take the break. You've said yourself that you really need it.

Answer 2

We had more or less the same problem with my late Mother in Law, as you say,you get to the point where you really must have a break. Your Mother will have the best of care while she is in the home, more importantly you will be able to relax for a while and recharge your batteries,believe me you will feel much better.After respite care your Mother may take a few days to settle down again,but she will settle down,more importantly you will have had a rest. Good luck to you and your Mother !

Answer 3

my dad has Huntington's disease and my mum has my dad put in to respit care, he is ok when he comes home, my mum has a councillor to talk to and she said my really needs my dad to go in to respit six times a year, you do need your break, if you both go on holiday you can get other relatives or friends to visit your mum and depending on where your mother is she may be able to go out for days out, so it would be a break for your mother as well, your all sometimes need a break apart, i think she will be ok you could take her to see the place.

Answer 4

i begged onrfolk social services for respite. they kept putting it off. i was pregnant, ill and looking after my 5yr old and 82 yr old gran full time, in the end i had to leave i had no choice........ my uncle apparently put gran into a home a few weeks later.
i say apparently because none of us have seen or spoken to each other since