Plz help how can i convince me dad its ok if i date someone whos not white?

Question

My dad is not racist but he really does not agree in inter racial relationships. I have dated a guy who was black before and he was really nice and sweet. I feel its wrong that he has the right to control who i date or ill get disowned. My dad loves me but i know that if one day i came home saying i was gonna marry someone who wasnt white it would kill him. My mum would accept it and treat him with respect, and take it into account that its my life and i can make good decisions. Plz help what can i do?, like i said bare in mind he is not racist he is just really against inter racial relationships. Thank you for your help.

Oh yh and chey thanks for the comment maybe i should mention im f.u.c.k.i.n 13. Racist is someone who starts calling someone names abot there colour or religon or hurting them for it. DOES MY DAD DO THAT? F.U.C.K NO! Oh and chey why say "non of the males in my race will put up with you". You are the person who is racist love. If my dad was racist why does he have mates who are from ll kinds of cultures den?!. I flipin said from the beginning he aint racist he just thinks that inter racial relationships dont wrk and i wanted to know how i could prove him wrong. But you start going on about him being racist?. Get your head sorted WHETHER IM 13 OR NOT YOU DO NOT EVER EVER SAY THINGS LIKE THAT BOUT MY DAD. by the way people if you didnt cath her name its chey by the way . Everyone else thank you for your helpfull comments.

By the thank you for your comments espiecally: Emmy, Little Bear, ultramad81, roadrunner, hiyacinth, blu, seeblob, jo n jo, ncshrty05, doeffy, marie s, john n, maple 005050 and pip. All of your answers really helped thank you.

Answer 1

some people are just oldfashioned and will not change their ways.
Remember that your dad grew up in the ages where whites and blacks weren't even allowed to communicate with each other, or ride in the same section of the bus, or even allowed to interact with each other relationship wise.
He was taught to stick with his race, and having gone through it so long, its the only thing he knows.
Yes times changes, and I believe your dad should be more openminded, but unless you sit down and explain to him about times changing, and ask for his reason why you should not date outside your race, theres nothing you can do about it.
Thank God your mom supports you on all of this.
I also thank god that I myself grew up in a interracial family.. my real dad (aka sperm donor) was Puerto Rican, my mom is white, and she married my stepdad who was black, and I have 2 half sisters who are mixed. This helped me open my eyes to alot of things, and I am for dating outside my race.
People dont seem to realize that they need to get rid of stereotypes. And part of the past.
Talk to your dad and ask him to give you REAL explanations for why he doesnt want you to date outside your race.

Answer 2

If you are only 13 your dad has the right to decide whether or not and whom you date .
There is nothing wrong with black people or white people . White people are always accused of being racist if they object to mixed relationships between white and black people . Black people too , object to mixed colour relationships . Even when people live in the same neighbourhood ; they still tend to have their own culture and customs and do not seek to mix .
If a white girl marries a black man she will adopt his culture and customs ; there children will be neither black no white and will not necessarily find it as easy to be accepted in either society .
Your Dad Loves You and is trying his best to guide you so that you don't make mistakes in your choice of partner . If you become in the habit of dating Black boys ; that may not necessarilly be the best for you in the long run .
There is no reason why you should not have multiracial friends ; but dating is another thing .
When you say that if you came home one day and told your dad you were going to marry a black man , it would kill him . Not because the fiance was black ; but because you his darling daughter would be taking a grave risk to your future and happiness . Listen to your Dad ; he does know what is best for you .

Answer 3

This is always hard. He's not a racist, but he's against interracial relationship. Something familiar. You should try to introduce this guy with your dad. Invite him for dinner or for the weekends on some picnic.
Though your father may be afraid of the future of your kids. After all it's not easy for a mixed child as a mixed child can't even say to which race he or she belongs. As long as we have descrimination and racism this will remain a problem. If you ever get to marry a black guy (or of some other race) be sure you can give the best to your children (including a good life). It's important that they be happy.
Wish you success!

Answer 4

I hate to break this to you, but being against inter-racial relationships is a form of racism. Just because a person doesn't use the N-word, doesn't mean they don't feel a certain way. You may never be able to fully convince your dad to accept your choices... and its up to you to ACCEPT that.

If you are living with your parents, you have to respect their rules... its their house. Once you are out on your own, you are the owner of your own fate, responsible for making smart choices. In my own case, it was the opposite, I'm a guy and my mom was raised by a racist family, so she was not comfortable with some of the people I dated. It took time for her to accept that I was dating other races.

Moral of the story, be patient and respectful. If you set a good example, your dad will follow...eventually.

Good luck, it takes time and a lot of work to heal the wounds of racism.

Answer 5

At 13 is he ok with you having any boyfriend?? All that should worry your dad is if you're with someone who treats you well and respects you, it doesnt matter what colour a person is, it's whats inside that counts... There's good and bad in every race. i don't agree with his attitude at all, but i have come across discrimination like this myself. People don't have to like it, it's not thier business and it annoys me, because he wouldn't say you couldn't be with someone who was ginger , or blonde.. its the same thing!!
Without sounding patronising, you are only young, when you're older you'll be free to make all your own decisions, then nobody will be able to tell you what to do. And when you meet someone who truely makes you happy, maybe your dad will just accept it. If not, then just explain that as your dad you love him but he doesn't have to agree with all ogf your choices, just be there for you anyway...

Good luck, i hope you get your dad round to your way of thinking.

Answer 6

Hiya I was in the same position its great that you dads not racist, its probably more to do with cultural differences. The reason he thinks these relationships don't work it because some cultural differences are quite vast unless you conform to these your relationship will be rocky going (take it from me I know). Take the time to look into how women are respected in general in other cultures and leave the literature around for him, know what your getting into but know your dad will need time, all he wants is his little girl .....future grandchildren around and doesn't want you belittled in any way........

Answer 7

My whooole family has that problem. There are alot of people out there like that, unfortunately.

If you want to help him understand, just make him talk to you. Get out what you want to say and explain to him what your feelings towards the subject are in a good and nice way. If you do date someone who isn't white, maybe you should let them meet and converse and they could get to know one another. Try and find a way to convince whoever you are dating is a good person, and the color of their skin doesnt matter. It really depends on the kind of people your father and your date are.

Some people are very stubborn and wont get over it in a heartbeat, though, so there really isnt a way to garuntee it. You just have to let him accept it in his own way, slowly but surely if that is the case. Some people are just raised to think that way and it could take awhile to get out of the habit.

Good luck :]

Answer 8

that is a hard one. i dont know why fathers have such a hard time with this issue. i think its because they want the best for their little girl and they want you to have a good life. you really cant change his opinion he is set in his ways. you can try to talk to him about it. but it probably wont get you anywhere. have you even dated this guy before? get to know him first and mention him to your father about how he treats you etc... but leave the fact out that he is black. once your father starts to see that he is a good guy tell him about him and and see what he says. besides how old are you? cuz if you are 16 or so then your parents still veiw you as a little girl and it will be harder for you.

Answer 9

I think you should tell your dad that the guy u like is really nice, sweet and all the positive qualities he posses. You should also tell your dad that you love him though he isn't white. There's nothing wrong with liking something who isn't white as long as above else, there is love. make your father trust you in this life-changing decision of yours.

Answer 10

Gently explain to him about how you feel. He seems like a kind of overprotective guy, but remember he does have your best intrests at heart. If this doesn't work then I'd say, just go for it because he will have to learn to accept it in the end.
Good luck! =)