This guy and I have been "friends with benefits" for about three years now. Its been fun cause we hook up on weekends see each other at bars, etc. Its fun without the drama. We usually don't call or worry about the other until we're going to mess around. We're both promiscuous and have others on the side, but for some reason, we always come back to each other.
Last semester he asked me to help him with a math class, (I'm a math major) so he would come over once or twice a week, we'd study, and then mess around. I really started liking him, more than before. But I know he'll never take me serious. After he got his A, I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. I hated myself for liking him, knowing it will never lead to anything more. This lasted for about 2 months. Recently he's been calling me, he wants to see me, and saying he misses me, etc.
I hate him, why does he do this if he doesn't want anything serious with me?
2007-08-04 19:03:16 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well.. just because hes promiscuous doesnt mean he wont be able to commit (i mean.. it seems like if he was willing to commit you would too, right?)
just go ahead and talk to him.. ull know hell flirt with other girls, but maybe he will stay loyal
2007-08-04 19:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by Mr.Deeds 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have set the framework for this relationship. If you don't take it seriously, he certainly won't. You should be honest about your feelings. Either you "hate" him or you don't. You call it a fun thing so he probably looks at it as a fun thing also. If you want a monogamous serious relationship, you must define it for both of you and talk to him honestly to find out if that is what he wants. He may be looking for just some more "fun". Good luck.
2007-08-05 02:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by eei59aasd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah friends with benefits can have tons of complications. the really important question you have to ask yourself is: Do you want to go through the heartache of hooking up with him? Being friends with benefits can bring rewards, but it's really hard for both party to "have benefits" without one side falling for the other. He he misses you, and if he's telling the truth, then yes, maybe you guys can bring the relationship into another level. But you still have to be careful and know that things can never be the same.
and you know what. I've been down that road. To tell you the truth, we both ended up getting hurt. I just don't want to see you get hurt either. Think it through.
2007-08-05 02:11:47 · answer #3 · answered by revernance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, why are u so sure he doesnt want anything serious? its prolly most guys dont wanna get "serious" with a girl who's this promiscuous. secondly, why do u hate him? maybe if u werent messing around with him for THREE years you wouldnt grow so attached. to answer ur "stupid" question, maybe he's doing this cuz he actually likes u too. now thats a thought.
2007-08-05 02:10:37 · answer #4 · answered by manovelli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that he might want something more than "friends with benefits" with you. And sounds like you have already started to care for him more than you thought you would, other wise you wouldn't be saying you hate yourself for liking him. Take a good look at yourself, find out what you feel for this guy,then let him know. You say you guys have been friends. See if you guys want to take it further.
2007-08-05 02:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by yankabilliechic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him that you feelings for him have gone beyond that of a special friendship and that you can not take the pain of knowing that he does not feel the same. Tell him that you are looking for a 1 on 1 relationship from him and if he is willing then let you know otherwise please leave me alone cause it really hurts. Good luck.
2007-08-05 02:10:46 · answer #6 · answered by Johnny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont no for sure that he doesnt want anything serious maybe hes afraid of commitment a lot of guys are i was for about 3 years and im sorry about your situation if u need sumthin dont be afraid to ask well take care and good luck
2007-08-05 02:10:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL
did you honest think FWB works?
it NEVER works
someone ALWAYS get attached
hence you have to practice brutal cut all communications and be a cold hearted b*&#$ if you must to control it
so go out and find your next FWB and do the same if it comes to that
2007-08-05 02:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he does. Maybe he's afraid you don't want anything serious because you called it off. You should be honest with him, and tell him straightforward, that if he doesn't want to be in a relationship, you don't want to keep getting hurt.
2007-08-05 02:06:20 · answer #9 · answered by stormy.! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you made up you mind and think nothing serious can happen, very typical of a girl, maybe you should be more brave and tell him how you feel.
2007-08-05 02:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by Concerned 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋