3 year old not interested in learning new things?

Question

Our 3 year old son does not seem at all interested in learning new things, for example, we have been trying to get him to learn to ride a bicycle (with training wheels), learning to play baseball (at least to hit the ball with bat), swimming. He has no desire. For the swimming, my parents have a pool, I try to encourage him to wear the arm floaties or his life jacket, he won't wear either. Tonight we were at a community pool, he was the only person in the baby pool. He will try to ride his bike for about 2 minutes if that and says "I'm done" and that is the end of that. I am disappointed when I see children younger then him or children his same age doing things that he can't or won't do. I understand all children learn at different stages and rates. I am concerned this might turn out to be something more. Is this something to be worried about, could this just be phase he is going through? Any suggestions on getting him more interested in trying new things?

Answer 1

have someone else teach him
my son does the same thing, he's taking speech therapy, before he was he would not point at the right colors for me, nor even listen/repeat abc, 123's, since in therapy he listens to the therapist
children this age tend to do more for teachers, and other family members than their own parents

don't worry about it, its normal

Answer 2

CONTROL ISSUES - most all 3 year olds have them

My daughter had them. I'd say up, she'd want down. I'd say blue, she'd want green.

Perhaps you are expecting him to "keep up" with other kids too much? 3 is at the young end for bikes and baseball anyway!! You have very high expectations, he can't live up, so why try.

And I worry that you use "disappointed." He is who he is, and although we all have those fleeting feelings "disappointment" (I admit I am sometimes disappointed my daughter doesn't wear any dresses or won't let me do her hair) you should recognize that falling prey to that emotion will only destroy your relationship with your child.

Get over being disappointed in your child - worried is okay - but disappointed is poisonous.

To deal with the control battle: the best way is to play it cool. Give them as much control as you can. And don't back down when you can't.

For example: The pool. Give him a choice in floaties or jacket - but be clear. One or the other or no pool- it's a safety issue.

And when you can, give the choices and walk away. My daughter never liked the snack I fixed, so I'd leave it on the table and walk away...she'd eat it.

The more you seem like you want him to learn these things, the more he will resist. Relax. Let him be who he is and meet him there. (My 3 y.o. daughter didn't want to ride a bike either, but she LOVES her 3-wheel scooter. So we put away the bike and we ride the heck out of that scooter. Who cares she can't ride a bike. She's 3!!).

Good Luck and enjoy him for who he is.

Answer 3

Some of the things you are asking him to do are pretty hard for a three year old,particularly hitting a ball with a bat and riding a two wheeler. Beyond that, kids differ in the way they deal with new challenges. Some jump right in and deal with failure matter-of-factly. Some like to think about it, figure out how to do things, and try when they think they understand how to do it. They are more cautious and have a pretty good sense of self-preservation. These are the kids who won't put their faces in the water during swimming lessons and then one day swim the length of the pool and jump off the diving board. Leave your son alone to decide when he is ready or interested. All the things you have mentioned are athletic, maybe that's not his thing. Offer him opportunities to try new things and make the equipment available to him but stand back and don't pressure him. The last thing you want to do is to communicate that there is something wrong with him

Answer 4

To answer your question with a question...what is he interested in? Does he like to draw, build lego towers, play make believe? The best thing to do is show more interest in the things he really loves and don't push too much on the other things. Offer him the chance to swim or ride his bike but if he lacks interest move on to something else. As he gets older he'll get more comfortable trying out new things on his own...My 3 year old son is not a fan of bike riding but he loves playing make believe elevator. We've got paper elevator panels all over the house so he can "ride" the elevator to ever floor. Just enjoy the great things he does and soon you'll see a lot more.

Answer 5

If you are truly concerned about his progress, speak with his pediatrician. You really shouldn't compare him to other children because as you already said, all children progress differently. He might be more advanced in one area than someone else while the other kid is advanced in something different. Only compare his progress with his previous week or previous month.

What I would guess, assuming there isn't a medical issue at hand is one of two things: 1. he is fearful of trying new things. Maybe he feels pressured to do it right or to try it at all. Maybe he isn't comfortable working out of his comfort zone and the best thing you can do is say "okay, let's move on." and don't pressure him.

2. Another possibility is that in a 3 year old's world, they have zero control and they want it. This might be his way of winning control. let him have it. Ask him... do you want to go outside and play or play in the house? If he wants to go out say "do you want to play a game with a ball or do you want to sit and use sidewalk chalk?" Ask him what he wants to do. Tell him it's his call how he handles his play time. When he knows he has some of the power he might be a little more excited about following your lead.

Answer 6

By the sounds of it, it may be the "types" of things you are offering for him to do - ride a bike, baseball, swimming. My son is a little younger, but isn't really into "sporty" activities. He love to sing and listen to music, play with cars, push his toy mower around the yard, play on the slide, help mom in the kitchen, etc. He loves learning things like his abc's - so much that he can sing them, point out which letter is which, and tell you which sound each one makes. He also knows all of his numbers and can count to 20. He's warming up to his trike more, but still isn't as interested in swimming. I would say just emphasis the things he does enjoy - or introduce him to non-sporty things for a little while. Chances are there are lots of things he will love to learn- it just might be more mental exercise than physical right now. I do beleive that it can be somewhat of a phase; today he wants to learn how to count, next month he's interested in getting in the water. Just encourage all sorts of activities - giving him a wide range to choose from. Hope this helps some.

Answer 7

My 3 year old son is exactly the same way. As one of the previous people said, my son loves to do the same stuff over and over. He wants to become an expert at what he's doing before trying something new. If anything, I think he's got the opposite of ADD because he pays complete attention when he's doing stuff he wants to do.

But when we try to get him to ride his bike, tricycle, go swimming or even jump in those bounce houses that all the kids love, he says, "no." He just finds whatever he likes and insists on playing whatever he wants to play. Sometimes he'll try something new if his dad suggests it because he's a real Daddy's Boy.

Maybe our sons will be leaders instead of followers since they like to do what they want to do.

Hopefully huh? Don't worry. When he gets older, and goes to school, and sees what other kids are doing, he'll probably want to try new things.

Answer 8

Two things. Give a new thing more than one chance. If he doesn't like it the first time, introduce it again, a little bit later.
Secondly, what does interest him? Maybe its not sports and sporting activities. Maybe he would be more interested in numbers, colours, shapes, books, and learning by watching you do things?
A thing is of more interest to the little ones if they see an adult enjoying it too. Ever seen the joy on a little one's face when allowed to mix the biscuit mix? When they watch the biscuits cooking, and finally get to eat them? They can learn new things by sharing with you the everyday experiences.

Answer 9

It might be a problem, but more likely he's got the type of personality that likes safety. I was like him as a child. It wasn't that I didn't like learning new things, but I felt like as soon as I mastered something everyone wanted me to move onto something else, whereas I just wanted to do the thing I had mastered over and over and over and over again. My parents, for YEARS, were concerned that I was developing too slowly. Turns out I was actually light years ahead of my peers, I just wanted to do these other things that I had already gotten right for a long time before I moved on to something else. He *may* be going through a phase like that, but I would definitely not take my word for it. ;) My experience is meant to be an encouragement to you, but I would talk to his pediatrician and see what he or she says.

Answer 10

Well, I am not a professional, so it is good to ask one, but I think you should be worried if, at 3, he is trying those things and falling all over the place and not getting the concept at all. If he is just not interested, then keep finding things to try, and don't push. I am not sure what temperament he is, but my daughter is slow to warm up, and it takes a while before she feels safe to try new things. What gross motor (large muscle) activities does he enjoy?