A playgroup I belong to has this one particular mother who is rude, self-absorbed and is the typical high-school clique snob. She has been rude to me on countless occasions and has in fact thrown several parties where she has invited all other members of the playgroup in front of me but has never included me in. It saddens me that she dislikes me so much because I am a great person and I am a great friend (you know the one that you can share every one of your darkest secrets and know that five second after you walk out the door are on the phone telling every humuliating detail) but in intentially alienating me, she takes it out on my babies (2 1/2 years and 15 months).
How would you deal with this person and would you remain quiet if you saw and knew this was going on. Especially, since she appears to control the clique???
2007-08-04 16:42:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It would be really hard to be in a group like this. How are the other mothers towards you? You don't want your kids to be put out like this...they need to come first so maybe ( it is not easy I know) you need to find another group of mothers that you feel more connected to..this will be much easier once your 2 1/2 year old is 3 and can start preschool opening a door way to many more connections. Have you invited any of them over or arranged your own fun day with everyone? I would try that and see what kind of reaction or turn out you get. Good luck, I know it is hard to find a good group of mothers in the first place.
2007-08-12 10:09:03 · answer #1 · answered by hawk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this situation when my kids were older. The woman was rude as can be to me and I actually found her attractive and funny until she started being rude. Then I just thought she was an ***.
You don't have to be her friend. There are other people in the playgroup and you can just relate to them as individuals.
In our small town, I would run into this woman all the time. Years passed. She got a divorce and her husband remarried very soon. I imagine he may have cheated on her although I never asked. I felt sorry for the kids. I even felt sorry for her.
Yes, it is high school clique behavior but adult life isn't really high school. Lots of similarities but it is not quite the same. Time passes. You will benefit from keeping your cool and being polite and making friends where you can. Even in the same play group. Don't complain about her. Act as if it doesn't bother you and pretty soon it won't.
2007-08-11 22:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will stop the second you call her out on it IN FRONT OF EVERYONE expose her for her rudeness as she should be so she could feel the ridicule she exposes you to. Maybe the poor thing still feels like she has to compete as if she was in High School dont allow her to alienate your kids if you cant stand up for yourself stand up for your kids so they will grow up being able to stand up for themselves teach them a life lesson in doing so you dont have to be rude about it just vocal
the others will see her true colors only when you call her out on them some people just dont see the pain in others until you point it out it sounds like its a very self absorbed bunch
tell her "you know I dont know if you have noticed but its really rude when you do such and such thing and personally I could care less because what you do shows me the person you are I am adult enough to understand peoples imperfections but my children dont have that experience with people yet and they feel hurt when you do this and that so I would appreciate it if you would not invite the other members of the playgroup and leave them out in front of them its just not proper and it hurts their feelings and mine as well as a mother.
2007-08-10 07:26:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, but HELL NO!! Why would you punish an innocent child who didn't ask to come into this world in the first place?
She needs to be set straight here and now! You described her, now call her out and set her straight and her little clique too. At least they will all know where you stand. Stop being such a nice friend to people who don't deserve your friendship. Good luck.
2007-08-10 09:48:48 · answer #4 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do the other mothers feel about her? How did they feel about your not being invited? It must have been obvious. Did they go along with it? Did they sympathize? Are there people in the group with whom you get along well, and who agree with you? If so, see what support they may be willing to give you.
If someone is being a jerk, and rude, I'd steer clear beyond a doubt. If they are treating my kids badly, I'd quit going. Keep what friends you have, and visit with them. You'd be better off, your group would be worse off, and maybe others would discontinue going there, and start coming to your group meetings. You never know.
2007-08-12 11:22:46 · answer #5 · answered by Jann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. What kind of person does that make you? That child is only a child. What does that child have to do with whats going on between you and that child's mother.
Why don't you try killing her with KINDNESS.
Every time she is rude, don't pay any attention to her. Be that much more nice to her and definitely to her child. She will see that no matter what is going on, that you still treat her child good. People like that need extra prayer and has personal issues that she isn't happy about.
If you are mean to her, it is like adding gasoline to the fire.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
So, ignore what the flesh is telling you to do and try listening to the Holy Spirit within. Just pray for her.
She desperately needs it. We should be praying for our enemies as well as our friends. Don't be the sheep, continue to be the Shepherd! God always prevails. -God Bless.
2007-08-08 19:05:05 · answer #6 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Walk away from anyone that is is mistreating your babies.
Period.
Her shallow idea of friendship obviously isn't worth a d@mn!
Don't get caught up in that. Not to mention, what are you teaching your children? That it's OK to be treated poorly just so someone will be your friend? Isn't that exactly the thing we DON'T want our kids to do? You don't need her, or anyone else that chooses to listen to her. You can either play with your kids on your own, out check out other people in the area.
But for goodness sakes, walk away from her!
2007-08-11 19:30:49 · answer #7 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you change your playgroup. Why be miserable because of one person. Tell her that she is rude to you and ask her why. Oh, just stand up to her - or GET OUT of the playgroup.
2007-08-10 07:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
annoying place to be - i'd say it may be solid to be civil and handle her basically whilst needed yet by no ability ever badmouth her to her infants. in case your hubby desires to try this then it incredibly is his prerogative, yet as a step mom you could attempt to stay impartial. That way they'll improve to savour you for attempting to be mature in an uncomfortable difficulty. I agree - it incredibly is unnatural to be emotionally close jointly with your husband's ex, attempting to get in the process the basics in a civil way is achieveable and properly well worth the attempt although.
2016-10-14 00:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all tell that lady to get the stick out of her a##
second don't ever let anyone push your kids around other wise they will grow up thinking that is o.k.
third why would you want to be friends with some-one like that people like that only act that way because they want to seem like they have the perfect life when they have skeletons in the closet
2007-08-11 18:47:43 · answer #10 · answered by KATWOMAN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋