How do i get my 5year old daughter not notice differences?

Question

My 5year old daughter constantlly points things out, loudly in public. Examples: she told one lady that she has big teeth, asked a woman with a large tummy if she was pregnant, said something about someone in a wheel chair, points out peoples age and race. She does not mean to be rude and doesnt say the statements in negative ways more of an observation and I'm sure this is somewhat normal but I dont like it and do not know how to make her stop this. Help!

Answer 1

My five year old son has always been like this too. When he was 3 I was teaching him colors and he'd point and say this is green or that is black, well, one day we walked into Walmart and the greeter was a friendly old black lady. Well, my son pointed to her and said very loudly, Mommy, that lady is brown!! I felt horrified, but the lady was so sweet, she just said yes honey I am, and you are white. That satisfied him and we went on. I think if you tell them that yes, they are noticing these things and that they are all normal, then the child won't make a scene. The same things happen to my husband and I when we are out and see kids. He is only 4'11" and children never fail to yell out things like "Mommy, (or Daddy) look at that little man, look how little he is" Things like that. Generally the parents try to shush the child or ignore them, which only results in the child being louder. My husband is a good sport about it. He usually laughs it off and tells the child that he just didn't grow very tall, but that they probably will grow much bigger than him. My son recently pointed out a man in a wheel chair and asked why he didn't walk. He was just as loud as ever and I quickly explained to him how some people can't use their legs and that's how he gets around. I've found that most people will be more interested in how you handle the situation than what the child said to them. If you give the child an honest answer that makes sense to them then the subject is usually dropped immediately.

Answer 2

I agree with abileen78, people are more interested in your reaction than the kids statement.
my boys just went through a gas station with me and as we left
...mommy that man has A ROBOT LEG!! COOL! LOOKIT Lookit...

and i just said quietly yes isn't that cool come here where we can talk
and then they both had a billion questions that i answered as honestly as i could

i know this will sound off subject now but stay with me...
we were feeding carp at a marina, they get huge there, and some had been hurt, propellers and other fish, and it was kinda gross,
the boys looked at those and said, oh, they are okay they are just different, maybe we should make that one a robot fin,
i think it is really our reactions that matter most.
also we met a lovely couple whose wife was very short, i was not aware of her height because we were sitting on a beach, but as we all got into our cars, my boy s hollered out the window:
wow she is shorter than you mommy
i didn't know she was SO SHORT!!!
why IS SHE SO SHORT?
this was after the robot man and the fish mind you,
I finally told them, guys, she knows how tall she is and doesn't need to be told by you or anyone else. She knows, and it's fine.
that actually stopped them.

Answer 3

You should be consistent with your "discipline" in teaching your daughter the proper manners. At 5, she is certainly capable of comprehending the rules, and following them. I don't mean to be harsh, but allowing her to continue this behavior and praising her for being observant is just encouraging the "rude" behavior. I was embarrassed by my daughter (severely) because I was a first time mom and wanted to encourage her as much as possible, but it bit me in the behind, badly.

Whenever she would make comments, I would lean down and whisper to her that she was not using good manners; it's not polite to make those type of statements because it could hurt someone's feelings and if she hurt their feelings, she would have to apologize. I also went as far as to tell her that we could talk about anything she saw once we were in private or if there was something really bothering her, she could whisper it im my ear. I also gave her the speech about how people could not help that they had big teeth or a lot of moles, that's just how they were made.

Also, set a good example. Don't let her hear you talking about someone's hair or clothing--otherwise she'll think that it's okay.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, the truth is, it's just a stage.
After all, if she watches any children's television, she's been exposed to noticing differences. There are entire specials on opposites etc..
I would talk to her and say "Some people are different. That is what makes our world great! Some people walk, some people have to ride in chairs. Sometimes if we talk too loudly about someone's teeth or their big tummies, it could hurt their feelings"
She will out grow it.
She will also follow your example, if you don't act like it's a big deal, it won't be one to her either.
She's just a smart little girl noticing her world! :)

Answer 5

She is just being very alert at her surroundings and it is a good and bad thing. The good thing is that she is noticing the differences however, the bad thing is she could hurt peoples feelings and cause you to get into fights. What you need to do is talk to her and tell her that it is not nice to point out things to people because you could hurt peoples feelings. This is all you have to do because no one else can help her put you..
My daughter does something similiar to your daughter but she notices color and she makes comments about it too me but not to people. She would say mommy look at this chocolate man, he is ugly. But when she sees a white man she says that he is nice looking. I think that she is prejudice and I am working hard to try to make her appreciate all types of people and not make racists comments. She is only 4 years old and I need to work on that before she grows up hating blacks, hispanics etc...

Answer 6

She is only 5 years old and kids that age are very curious and observant. You're the one who has labled her rude, when she isn't rude. How is she going to learn about and tolerate the different people in the world if she doesn't ask questions?

Answer 7

just tell her that saying these things hurts ppls feelings. and that ppl look different use ppl she loves and cares about as examples for example grandma is allot shorter than me but we are both still beautiful. but nothing that you wouldn't want to get back to them. also try to have her be around more ppl so she is just so used to ppl being different that it isn't something she really notices. she is at the age when she is still starting to notice ppls differences and she thinks it is exciting. i have a friend who is very thin so it the father of her children and most of there family. she has a 5 year old little boy and he has known me his entire life. i am a really big girl and he has asked me a couple times why im so big or why im so fat and i just ell him it bc I'm cute but we have also me and his mother about how ppl look different and it is ok for them to. try not to over react just talk to her about it. think of it this way every time she meets some one knew what do they ask how old is she o what beautiful curly hair. so that is what she thinks you are supposed to do.

Answer 8

The best way to accomplish this is to take her to places where she will see many different people and explain things to her. Get her used to others and to knowing everyone is different. My daughter as 5 when I started taking her to speech therapy and there she saw kids and adults with many problems and I never had a problem with her or my younger son who went with us. Now seeing someone different has no meaning to them. Also if you take the child to a daycare, see if there are any special ed children there.

Answer 9

It is perfectly normal, most kids go through this. Every time she says something inappropriate explain to her why that should not be said, or why they are that way. She will eventually get it, but it may take some time. When she says something inappropriate in front of someone just tell them politely that you are sorry and let it go.

Answer 10

you need to be consistent in instructing her when she does this. you need to quietly explain to her that there are many different kinds and shapes of people and it is not polite to shout out that she notices their differences. After you consistently do this for say 10 or 15 episodes, then simply remind her, because you will need to, that she is being impolite. It will sink in.