she's forcing me to go to church?

Question

i'm an athiest and i just spent a whole week at a christian camp being a camp counseler going through about 31/2 hours of worship and praying every single day. Now my aunt that i'm living with is forcing me to go to church with her tomorrow. She's trying to change me but i'm not going to. i'm not going to change what i believe in. how do i convince her that i'm not going to change and that it's pointless that i go, and that she shouldn't force me to?

by the way i can't be disrespectful about it because she doesn't have to let me live with her and i really don't want her to kick me out. she says that as long as i'm living under her roof i have to go, but i don't have anywhere else to go. please somone give me some advice, so she'll just accept that i'm not christian and how to get her friends to just accept it also and stop telling me about the bible thinking that i'm actually going to change

Answer 1

Tell her it's not your thing honey

Answer 2

This is not what you want to hear.

If you are living under her roof, then you have to abide by her rules. If one of the conditions for living in her house is that you will go to church, then you have three options.
1. Go to church.
2. Find somewhere else to live, or
3. Talk to your aunt and see if the rules can be changed.

I personally don't think it is too much for her to ask that you at least attend church with her. Think of it as a way you can get to know your aunt better. The more you learn about the things that are important to her (religion included), the more you will understand her.

Besides, if you listen and study with an open mind, you may find it's not so bad after all!

Answer 3

1. she allows you to live there, and you can't do this simple thing in return for her? are you that thankless for the shelter you have that you don't see that payment is due? and if the payment she asks is just doing a few hours a week of something she enjoys, umm, you got it made.

2. if you are under 18, you have no choice, do as your elders say. sorry, law.

3. instead of taking as " she is trying to change me ", why not actually go, learn, and see what it is all about. Instead of sitting out in the hallway pouting, "im not gonna do it, im not gonna do it". If you are a true atheist, then you would take this time to learn what the other side does.

But the fact you resist it so much, should make you look at yourself again and ask.. " why am I resisting it so much? ". Would you put up the same fight if college requires you to take a class you don't like? Cause it happens, its called life.

Answer 4

If you're an legal adult she cant force you to go to church?

Is there no one else you can live with?

Does she know you're an atheist?

Just go on Sundays but refuse to do Bible Study or other church activities.

Tell her you're having a crisis of faith or you need time to study and prep for college?

It sounds like you have lost your faith cos you've been force feed too much of the wrong sort of religion?

Are you Catholic or Protestant?

Is your aunt a fundie or evangelist?

I am a believer myself but I understand "force feeding" people religion is not what converts them.

Would your aunt be open to suggestions that you need time out to think about these issues?

Is the pastor of her church a reasonable adult who can help persuade her to ease off?

Hopefully if the pressure eases off you will be given time to heal from spiritual burn out and regain the ability to to be open to a more truly spiritual view of reality.

I suspect maybe you are rejecting faith cos you were raised perhaps in one of the ose "You're only really Xtian if you follow EXACTLY the same beliefs as the rest of the group and whatever the pastor says is the ONE TRUE interpretation of the bible" type of churches?

I'll pray your aunt eases off the pressure since its not helping her or you!

As an adult or soon to be adult you need to be able to decide for yourself what choices you make about faith issues.

I hope and pray you will decide wisely and joyfully whatever you choose?

There are higher powers dont let people like your aunt put you off making a connection with them!

Best wishes and blessings!

P.S. Maybe your aunt will ease off if you cite Pauls verse about Testing Everything? Its in Thessalonicans!

Answer 5

I'm an agnostic who is also in the same situation as you. My mom forces me to go to church every sunday even though I find it pointless. My advice though is that though you won't get anything out of going to church in a religious sense, to go would be doing something kind for your aunt who believes it is important. I would say go with her to church if only for the purpose of repaying her for her generosity. And if it helps, read a book or something before you go so you don;t have to be too bored and you might have something to think about.

Answer 6

HOLLYSTER10,
FIRST OF ALL YOU DIDN'T GIVE YOUR AGE, & SECOND OF ALL DO YOU PAY HER ANYTHING FOR STAYING THERE? EVEN IF YOU ARE OVER 18 & YOU ARE PAYING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE RIGHT OUT OF RESPECT YOU SHOULD GO, BUT YOU ALSO SHOULD SIT DOWN & TALK TO HER & LET HER KNOW YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE GOING SINCE YA'LL HAVE DIFFERENT BELIEFS. MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER PASTOR ALSO & EXPLAIN TO THEM HOW YOU FEEL & THEY COULD TALK TO HER. YOU CAN'T FORCE THE LORD ON ANYONE OR CHANGE THEIR BELIEFS, AND I FOUND OUT A LONG TIME AGO IF YOU TRY TO FORCE SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING IT USUALLY MAKES MATTERS WORSE, WHERE AS IF YOU TALK ABOUT IT THINGS SEEMS TO GO BETTER. I DON'T MEAN ARGUE EITHER, THAT NEVER HELPS. BESIDES HOLLYSTER10 HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT JUST GOING & LISTENING TO HER JUST TO KEEP PEACE WITH HER? YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS, JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO HER UNTIL YOU CAN FIND SOME PLACE ELSE TO GO. I KNOW THAT MAY SOUND BAD BUT SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO PRETEND & KEEP OUR MOUTH SHUT JUST TO GET ALONG. NOT JUST IN THIS SITUATION BUT IN LIFE IN GENERAL.

Answer 7

How important is this battle to you? Is it possible for you to go ahead and attend to keep the peace? Do you think that attending will cause you harm?

If you value your relationship with your aunt, I would suggest you go ahead and attend. No one can force you to believe, and it should not harm you to just go and sit there.

I am not saying this to get you into church....I am encouraging you to preserve your relationship with your aunt. After attending a couple of times, maybe she will be willing to talk about it with you again.

Hope you find a solution.

Answer 8

If you feel you must play the game so that you have a roof over your head, then I suppose that is what you must do.

I think it's very strange that you would take a position as a Christian camp counselor knowing full well that you are an atheist. That wasn't fair to you or to those you were looking after.

Answer 9

I think if you point out to her your hypocrisy with regards to the camp, she'll come to understand your character a little better. It will be a sad day for her, but happy for you.

Answer 10

Holly,
It is doubtful that she will change her mind. Take reading materials with you and read/study while you have the free time to do so. I am sure that this will not "change your thinking" but it will not hurt you to spend the extra time with her either, will it?? I hope you are able to at least meet someone who is your age and friendly. Have FUN!
Thanks,
Eds


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Answer 11

Conveniently become sick tomorrow.

In all seriousness, it's looking like the only option for you is to grin and bear it, and come up with questions that would really piss the people off, example: "If we're all God's children, what makes Jesus so special?" and the likes of that.

No, don't actually ask them.