Does how I left her make me a bad person?

Question

I am a 21 year old guy in college. I take pride in how I treat people, and always try to be there for the people in my life 24/7, and enjoy at least trying to be the type of person who would sacrifice for the well-being of my friends, and just be there to have fun and celebrate/party with them, or always be there to talk and bring them soup when they are sick, etc. A few months ago, I met a girl. We were very into each other, but after about 2 weeks of some pretty great dating and hanging out, she broke it to me that she "didn't want a relationship right now in her life" even though she would always tell me she wished she could be with me because I "was amazing" (as if something was stopping her?) -and she felt attracted to other guys. That almost made me leave peacefully, but we both said we really felt for each other -she was just confused. So i wanted to give her her chance, and we continued to see each other for about 3 months. (more info in details)

things got more intense between us as time went on, but still she somehow seemed to be confused about whether she wanted to be with me, even though she would say things like "I really feel like we could have a great relationship, but I don't know right now" Eventually, after about 4 months of waiting, she just started getting really rude, stopped talking to me for 3 weeks without saying why, never returned calls/txts, and skipped a party i invited her to because she was across the state with another guy. And I had had enough. There were lots and lots of small, very rude, or even shallow things she had said to me, and I wrote her a very very long letter (11 pages) telling her goodbye. Once she got it, we talked it out, and tried to be friends, but i quickly realized she had been far too mean for me to be friendly. She had perfected leading me on and dropping me. So i wrote another letter since i could never see her in person, and said goodbye for good, no friends, anything.

and in the letter i told her all i had ever wanted to say, and I gotta pretty upset with how she had treated me and told her all about how ridiculous her relationship expectations were, and how I felt like **** because she wouldn't go out with me cause she didn't want to get in trouble for making out with cute guys or other ridiculous shallow stuff like that. And now I'm gone for good, but you know, nothing in her life has really changed, I still see her often, and she does the same thing to other guys and all her friends think shes the nicest person. Was I wrong, or have I moved away fro being kind to people, by yelling at her like I did and telling her to get the hell out of my life? Or was it justified?

***We were never official** we just both wanted each other and cared, but she couldn't make up her mind. and everytime i came close to leaving, she would pull me back like i was just a few steps away from a relationship with her

anyone else? (thx so far)

Answer 1

You did absolutely nothing wrong, brother. You toughed it out and gave her more time and consideration than she probably deserved, all she gave in return was malice and rudeness. You did what you thought you had to do, my friend. Cut your losses and move on.

Answer 2

Sounds like you did everything anyone could think of for this women and she still treated you like a puppet. You di the right thing leaving her and I would suggest that you made no more contact unless you liked being treated this way. Seems she will never stop until she grows up a lot. There are plenty of girls out there who would bend over backwards for a guy like you so look around the right one is closer than you think.

Answer 3

well.... to me... if u guys were dating before and u two were having fun... then she's hiding something.. ask her why she broke up wit u in the first place....that is the question u should be asking her

Answer 4

sounds fine to me. just move on. you didnt do anything absurd