My mom, has pushed me so hard that I feel driven away.My brother, is pushy and thinks that I do weird thing, I am on my guard, ready to stand up for myself, even though mostly he just gives a look, but when he does say something, it is rude.With my dad. As a teenager he was abusive and 'spanked' me and bruised me and was verbally abusive. Since then, he has changed so much.He has since married someone else and is really nice.But still as an adult, for years, he just seemed emotionally unavailable to me. I gave up trying.Now he seems to be getting 'softer' as he gets older.He seems to be making more of an effort to know my child and myself.But I just don't care as much anymore.Why?This is my family and I swing between missing what I wish we had... to feeling 'dead' and indifferent towards them.Just feeling... 'nothing'. I forget their birthdays, their anniversaries, to call... WHY? If blood is thicker than water, than why do I like my friends more? My dad is nice now and is ready.
2007-08-04 10:19:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have forgiven. I feel 'nothing' not bittereness or anger.. just nothing. If I had not forgiven, I would feel upset at least
2007-08-04 10:31:28 · update #1
You disagree with their beliefs and actions and reached a point where you don't care and walked away. Their b-days, anniversaries, etc. are not important to you and you found out you can live your life just fine without acknowledging that. As for liking your friends more....sometimes a family member will do you dirty before a friend will.
2007-08-04 10:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Friends are more like you and you can pick them so naturally you like them. Family is what you were born into and some can be bad and some good but they are always family. You will have the same family for life, when you are 80 you may not have parents but your family will still have shared memories. My mom is 80 now, today is my brother's retirement party, mom lost her mom last fall. Today's party will be at my brother's daughter's house with her family and her brother. Everyone there who is over 10 will have joint memories of my grandmother, all the family that has been alive the last few years, my dad that died 14 years ago. We all know each other and have forever. I happen to like my family but I have one brother I could do without. Being family we still have memories together he is 60 and I remember him as a small child and each of his marriages and divorces and all his children. Even if I don't care much for him my mom still loves him and sometimes we connect for a moment. When I am 80 my two brothers and thier kids and grandkids might be the only people left in my life. Friends that are fun at 60 might not be around at 80 but a 35 year old niece will be a 55 year old niece that you remember as a baby.
2007-08-04 10:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
we all take our family for granted. Its normal. Its the saying you dint miss it till its gone. As for what you missed in your childhood. Its OK to morn that, BUT don't dwell on it. If your Dad is trying then let him. Your Mom and Brother are different. Some people are toxic, and can make you that way too. Maybe that's why your Dad is different now, he got away from the toxic people in his life.(mom and Bro). Its important that you realize you can make your child the same way if you let them make you that way. Keep trying, but put on a positive front to them it may just wear off on them! If you have a child then you are old enough to be on your own if need be if worse comes to worse.
2007-08-04 10:32:50 · answer #3 · answered by suzzanlynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This word is frequently used to remind kinfolk that their allegiance could constantly proceed to be with their relatives first, and out of doors acquaintences 2nd. that's maximum ordinarily used to intend that the bonds between relatives (blood) are greater significant (thicker) than those formed with pals (water). Beacuse in the event that they are your loved ones the comparable bloods run although you all no longer the comparable sperm.
2016-10-13 23:37:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess sometimes the saying rings true. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives. Your dad may be ready to have a relationship with you now but it's hard to just let go of your past resentments. You and only you will know when you can allow yourself to accept him back again...None of us can make that decision for you.
2007-08-04 10:26:35 · answer #5 · answered by mamapoulette 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a hard time forgiving and forgetting obviously. Likewise I have had similar family problems, but much worse than the ones you spoke about. I want to be "normal" and have that "normal" family bond with my family. But I don't... for several reasons. I trust other people before I'd trust them.
I have forgave and forgot... And then what I forgave and forgot, happen to me again and again and again... So up theirs... One's sittin in prison thanks to Me, and I hope "up his" literally happens. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water, but when blood steals EVERYTHING down to crumbs out of your house more than once, when you opened your door to them when they had no where to turn to, and you gave them a warm shower, hot food, and a roof over their head till the next morning and asked for nothing in return.... So somethings you can't help. You can't MAKE particular people do right by life and do right by you.
Goodluck, in more ways than I can explain this is a touchy subject. and I could go on for hours on end.
2007-08-04 10:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by mzfshonble05 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow.....sad (and I thought only my family was messed up).
I have 5 sisters and 6 brothers. I only keep up with one of my brothers (the other one I kept up with died a few years ago), and one of my younger sisters. I also have a couple of nieces I keep in touch with.
Here's why:
my MOTHER.....ex-alcoholic, chronic complainer, asks for money to help her...then takes that money and helps out deadbeat relatives.
SISTERS....either current or ex-alcoholics, drug users, ho's, and/or thugs.
BROTHERS.....either current or ex-alcoholics, drug users, thugs, jail birds, bums.
I've tried year after year, decade after decade to do everything I could for them all, and I've finally decided to let them fend for themselves. Of course, they want to blame me for their problems, even though I live on the other side of the country.
People will guilt trip you if you let them, and they won't feel bad if they do crappy things to you. That is rotten, and I will no longer tolerate it.
You deserve mental, physical, and emotional well-being. You are a parent now, and you should put what is best for you and your child/children......not what relatives want.
2007-08-04 10:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by ☺ . CIEL . ☺ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not unheard of, dear. There is also a saying that goes: As yee reap, so shall thee sow. I think that is probably more prevalent.
2007-08-04 10:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by westgaliberty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
everyone's family is messed up..mine too. just like yours actually. just stay strong till you can move out and be yourself. hey hun, i just recently learned that your "family" doesnt have to be your biological family...it can be any group of people who love you and are kind to you and accept you. I feel that my "family" is my church. I definitely feel more for them than my own family.
2007-08-04 10:40:50 · answer #9 · answered by creamychoc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a verse somewhere in the Bible, that says in the last days "the love of many will wax cold"
2007-08-04 10:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by Guy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋