Childcare drama??? what to i do? help!?

Question

ok, i watch my sister's kid nearly all the time. she has 4 kids of her own. the fathers cause drama or don't want to help or are gone. the 21/2 yr old boy i watch i think has separation anxiety issues. so we got into this fight and it was about the boy listening to what he is told. when she spends time with him, he acts out and she lets him have his way and never diciplins him. she told me to stop comlplaining about him not following rules and directions and listening BECAUSE IF I TALK NEGATIVELY ABOUT HIM TO HER--I CALL NEGATIVITY TO HIM AND THAT WHY HE DOESN'T LISTEN......I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING. i was taught that children as toddlers need to be diciplined carefully and that is what i am trying to do. now i understand she needs to spend more time with her son but this is getting to the point where she gets mad at me for correcting her son for his behavior and acting out.what do i do? i am sick of arguing with her. she just doesn't get it! someone help me.

Answer 1

i understand how your sister feels that you are correcting "her kid" but if he is at YOUR house youhave EVERY right. You sister doesnst understand the damage she is doing by letting her kid be that way. Personality sets in at the age of three and she is in for a rude awakening if she thinks he will change or it will be easier when he is a teenager!
Best of Luck!

Answer 2

You should let her know that you will allow her to take time off with her son until she "can get it right" and after she gets his behavior under control, then she is more than welcome to bring him back. Tell her you think this would be best for the child since she feels that your disciplining the child and her refusal to work with you is somehow depleting the child emotionally.

So, you tell her that you will allow her to get her child's emotional and discipline values in order and when she is done, and incidentally, tell her to take all the time she needs to make sure she gets it straight, she is more than welcome to bring the child back. You have to let her know that her disruptive, unruly child is destructive to your home and to your household stability, so you will allow HER the time to "get it straight" before she can bring the child back.

This way, she'll either get the kid in order or see that she is just not willing to, and you won't have to be burdened with her kid any longer. Unfortunately, I think what will happen is the latter. Kids with that type of mentality learn this damning attitude from their parents. What kind of sister was your sister growing up and as adults? The apple never falls too far from the tree.

I remember when my youngest brother was the favorite. This wasn't so bad except when he did horrible things, you know, his conduct was poor, he was not properly disciplined for his bad behavior, so now that he is a man, it has caught up to him. I remember when I didn't trust my son for stay-overs at his house, and that when I would specifically request that my brother not to something with my son, he'd do it anyway out of disrespect for me. Now my brother has lost his beautiful, wonderful wife, lost his home and many possessions, lost his children, and a lot more, but the most heinous thing going on right now is that my brother is currently on trial for "the worst offense" in that he was charged with sexual molestation, rape, and child abuse in the worst degrees. No one ever told him to "STOP" his bad judgment and highly improper behavior so now it's all caught up to him. His trial begins in 8 days. He will more than likely be convicted and he will be labeled for life as a "Sex Offender" and will not be able to visit with his children normally, possibly not ever. Also, several years ago, I finally had enough of my immoral family and I finally left and have not returned or called them. The only way I found out about my brother is by a mere, chance grapevine rumor, and then I looked it up online with the State Court Records in the state where he and my family resides. It was all there in black and white...all the court records.

It may be that you should walk away from this one involving your sister's kid. I remember when I was younger, I had a daycare and my best friends wanted me to keep their kids. I knew their kids were bad, but for some reason, now being in my daycare, I thought...hmmm, they'll get used to how I do things, but they never did and it was miserable for them to be in my care so I canceled them. These were my two best friends but their bad kids were another story. I got to thinking about how my two friends behaved while we were growing up and you know what? I figured it out; the apple never falls too far from the tree. Now one of my friends married the father of her two kids and he's nothing but a lustful scumbag, and the other friend married the father of her three bad boys and now he's been deported back to Mexico because he didn't pay child support at their divorce, but he was always raping young teen girls.

If your sister doesn't appreciate or value your rules and holds no respect for your household, it runs far deeper and you should probably let her and her kid go. The best way is like I described above; just tell her until she can work out the behavior and discipline problems with her son, you won't be able to continue, but once she has worked them all out and gotten her son into proper discipline she is more than welcome to come back with him. I doubt she will, but it's worth a shot if you're willing. It may be that this was your way of telling her to basically get lost because you know they'll never change.

Answer 3

as hard at it will be, it's sounds like it's time for her to find another caregiver. you cannot be expected to let him do as he pleases with no consequences. this is your home and your house rules should apply, no matter who the child is.